Many vs Not enough

Damn.. I accidently deleted my stupid karangan..

No mood to write d..

Here some pics that i took.. Damn damn damn..

Last paper

Today is the Mtest. Everything went on well until last paper. The questions weren't that hard until the last paper. I was happily answer the questions, until the last paper. The last paper definitely spoiled the whole day mood.

That so not clever paper started at 12.15pm when it is supposed to start at 11.40. The reason? Paper is not enough? How can paper not enough when this is not the first time they conducted such test. How can the test being delayed for nearly one hour? As we need to wait for others to finish their test so that we can reuse back the question paper. Reuse of paper is acceptable if for saving the earth purposes. but reusing question papers containing scratches is not really a wise way. Fuhhh..

Today exam consists of 5 section. The personality test, Eng, BM, Maths and stupid analytical. My advice will be, just do as fast as you can. Skip the unnecessary question that u couldn't answer. I saw a few struggling to finish on time. Especially the personality test. Blasah ja wat secepat mungkin..

The worst tribute was the last paper. It's called Analytical paper. Which i supposed the worst of all. They gave u long long statement and you need to convert it into answer. Probably i'm a bit tempered during answering the paper that caused me couldn't think well. I hate delayed!! Truly hate it.. I can forgive if less than half an hour. But if more, than it's too much ..

When people tegur the government servant for the "kurang laju" they get pissed off. But cases by cases prove clearly that they are. I am wondering, how they can stuffed their ears ignoring the advices of the public than make an effort to change. All this complaints are worth nothing. I believe I'm not the first one to raised up this issue. But why i cannot see any changes going on? Why their speed couldn't be increased? Arrggghhhhhh.. What planet are they from.. Planet that spin not fast.. !!!

Day before Exam

the early days with Camie

Ahakzz..

Tomorrow is my KPLI test and I'm still online YM'ing..hehehe..
No mood leh wanna do any preparation. Moreover I've been preparing so many add maths notes..hopefully the advance training might help.
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Just now i'm rehearsing in the room just in case i was asked to demonstrate my way of teaching..hehehe which is another stage after this test.. Well government process, it might takes up to months to process the application. The chances of getting oso i guess depend on luck. Is it?
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But worth of trying..Heheh encouragement from friends "Just try..Action might not bring happiness, but there's no happiness without action").. So if get then get..If no then too bad..
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Currently try hard to read story books back. My vocab n grammar getting worst as i stopped reading. I'm reading "Why We Want You To Be Rich" by Robert T Kiyosaki n Donald Trump. Millionaires and Billionaires who enjoy educating the public on the economic issue. Certainly doesn't sounds like the genre that i enjoy. Tapi worth of reading la. It's time to gain knowledge than enjoying the murder and killing stories.Heheheh..Forget.. Tribute to Salwa for lending me this book. Thanks gurl..

Power of Words

Today i wrote an essay. An essay for my bestie coz she has conflict with her love interest. I knew their story well.. To my surprise i manage to really able to write all the jiwang2 words..I'm to put myself in her shoe. Feel how she felt. thing how she thought. Although the words used aren't superb. But 90% of them is I'm expressing her feeling and translating it to words. Every words i wrote is my pray for her happiness. I really wish deep that she found what she's searching for. At least she knows what she's searching at.

I don't..

Coming back from my teaching lesson yesterday, i realize that i love to teach very much. Most would say do your master, then be a lecturer. Being a lecturer of coz it's more prestige. More recognizable. But i think most will agree. Lecturer gives notes. Teacher educate. They mold us into who we are today. They poured out the knowledge besides taking care of us. They go deeper into our heart to the darkest side and will try to lead us out.

I don't know if it's my last resort. I have my KPLI test this Saturday. Yes I'm going. rumors strongly blowing that this intake will be sent to the other side of Malaysia. Am i willing to go? Leaving behind my family and my work place? I don't know.. I don't have the courage to think. Sometime not thinking is the best way. Like not making decision is a decision. Just one step at a time. We'll see what's the future He's written for me.

Sign~~

I sat in the office alone by rejecting the invitation to go to lunch by my college in the hope to complete my notes for my tuition lesson today. Yet couldn't concentrate on finishing the task. True enough that when u are alone, you'll think a lot. I'm doing the thinking now. I imagine myself in another 5 years. What will i be. Will i still facing the same monitor or I'll be out somewhere else exploring the difficult world out there.
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I don't know why, my heart felt so heavy and cloudy today since this very morning. As usual, cheer myself up by making stupid jokes. With one by one resignation going on lately, i am wondering, will i be remembered once i left. Will people feel the sadness that i feel leaving a place that more than 2nd home for me. I don't hope much, for me i treat everyone sincerely. I feel bad when the friendship around me is slowly breaking up and i do nothing on it. I don't know what to do. Doing nothing and seeing thing destroying is very frustrating. Believe it or not, i'm sort of crying right now. Actually tears drop ja la.. Tetiba cam rasa sebak. Damn..No one leh..heheh can do my own drama..
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And i missed the life during uni so much. Having so many hardcore geng to hang around. Hanging around without worry. Scolding, shouting, running, movie,shopping..I want badly to go back there if my mother allow me to. And recently is my best buddy bday. I remember last year during his birthday, we were celebrating in a large crowd. How happy i was that time. How happy they were that time. Now i really hope somebody is around. I really need a comfort hug. Now i know why gurl needs boyfriend. Yuckss to all these tears..
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I do enjoy my current geng, it is just that when u r staying at home, the social hour with friends is shorten. So we meet mostly in the office. The feel isn't the same..Haiihhh...

Out...In Back

With boogey filled my nose, i still tried my best to update my post. As i am soo excited i just obtained my tuition fees. Ahakzz..I found out that if private tuition, tuition fees will be given the first day or first teaching week or they pay everyday after the class. My case: Delayed to 3rd week. I really couldn't open my mouth to ask for it. Until today, they passed me a sum of money. Not to mention i have to give half of the fees to the tuition centre as registration fees. With recent big spend on my camie and incoming trips that are under planning, i really need extra income to be back to normal. Regret on buying my camie? NO!! Not yet. Hopefully never...

..Hasil Titik Peluh ku..

Outing and Kechaking

I had my official first outing with a soon to be burnt in fame photographer. Ahakzz. As usual, i couldn't sleep well again the night before and the morning erobics sucks, and my brother went back to his Poli. So sad. He was at home for the past 1 week. I miss my adik hitam already.. Alan!! Balik cepat!!

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The outing started off with filling the tummy with carbo content for energy supply. Then we headed for Youth park. A lot has changed in the park. Design, environment and even the crowds are larger. "Mula-mula..." Knowledge and techniques were slowly delivered to me the slow dummy. He had to repeat a few times before it stuck to my mind. I really think that my brain cells are depleting, left are those rusty and damaging cells. That's why i'm so lembab!!

Depth of field - Blur the back part and focused on the main subject in front. After few failed attempts then i manage to capture the flower using this technique.

Then we flew to Botanical garden in the hope to get few snaps of the flower there. Next lesson: Capture the moment of water. Fastest shutter speed. Kechak one shot.

Although this is far from hebat, still it's a few clicks that make up my day. Then we tour around the town area for few more intersting spots. We ended up in Padang Kota. Here he taught me on to position the object in the screen. The best is 1/3 of the frame. And i got this.

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Credits go him that get this pic. Beutiful even without touch up.

There are few more ok photos. Maybe next time. Maybe I should get myself flickr account. Ya.. I'll have one later..

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Thanks to him for all the guidance and the willingness to share info with me. Not to forget thanks for sweating with me under the hot sun!! Panas gilo!!

la~~ la~~ la ~~la ~~

La la la.. Trying to cheer myself up on the first day to work. Although i slept for more than 6 hours (A must!), still felt very tired and sleepy. Achiuuu.. I sneezed a few times just now. I started to feel the tiredness and laziness coming to work. No doubt I'm enjoying the job I'm currently on. I am just concern on my biological clock. It seems to scatter everywhere and everything turned upside down.

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I couldn't sleep well at night. My sleeps were filled with endless dream. Ranging from horror to whatever drama that i couldn't seems to recall. I no longer own the quality sleep. The moment i woke up, i felt i've been through enormous exhausted journey. Sometime i felt as if my eye kept open the whole night. O-O . Dah mula rasa syndrome juling-juling due to tiredness.

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I've done consistent exercise, therefore low blood pressure shouldn't be the excuse. Maybe i should really start a regular supplement intake. But trust me, it last for less than 2 weeks, then i'll forget and the vitamins will be stuffed in the fridge until the expiry date. I've been through this for nearly 5 months. I like my work and i really hope that things will get better. I enjoyed the work load. Ahakz.. I believe that i can be hell a workaholic. Staying back and extended working hours is fine with me. Waking up is a big problem that i have to overcome badly.

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I think gaining 1 or 2 kg will also help i guess. At least i could have extra energy supply. To my close friends and my family, they always teased me for putting on diet and eat less. But i do eat accordingly. I have my breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maybe the portion that i took is slightly less than the rest. Now i felt sick n tulang!! Damn..!!

"Photography" in my life

The back lane

I dunno wat shutter speed that i tuned. But manage to capture the flow skit skit. Poyo. Camera pekak pn leh gak

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I was attempting to upload few pics that i took using the new camie.. A bit shy to post.. Ahakzz really la. For a freshie to publish her piece of work to be judge by the pros is a bit nerve breaking. heheh but i'm a thick skin ok..If i'm dare to be ugly, I'm dare to be not cleaver. Hehehe Learning process is a long journey. Critics and advices are among the recipe to success. I started armature photography during my matrix year.

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When my late grandmother (Al-Fatihah), i noticed that the memory that i had with her were so limited. I hate to be in the photo back then as I'm far from photogenic. My face always so penyet and round (glanced through thr school yearbook then u'll know what i mean). My father and me bought my first digital camera. A konica minolta-dimage-xt while I'm working in Pearl Island Country Club while waiting to enter matrix. Nothing is free in my father's dictionary. He bought it after the spm result. I paid nearly rm700 for this. I used my hard earn money to buy it.

Siti jadi Duta for this model

Realising how much i've missed out the moments with my atuk, i started snapping picture just every where that i go, every events that i went. And i make sure that myself is in despite of how bad i look. I even won a lawak2 photography comp and won an N-gage with rm1000. That 1k was to be shared with other 10 frens. The Ngage is still with me until this very moment. This camera really captured the sweet and sour moments during those time. Until one day, my uni friend lost the casing of this camera, and followed by me misplacing the charger. The usage of this camera stopped. And I stopped taking photo, and increase my volume of being in the pics.heheheh.

Later, nearby my convo's day, i bought another camera. Nikon s550. A cool and good camera as well. But it ended up swimming in my bag when half of the tumbler content spilled on it. So it goes crazy till now. Not really reliable anymore. Sometimes easily on, sometimes couldn't on at all. Then my new camie d60. Hopefully this gedabak will last long la.. This is the biggest investment in my life at this moment. Cannot afford to lose it. No!!

Even using the compact digital camera, none of the pics that i snapped seems to look extraordinarily wow. All are just ok. But.. Nak perasan for a while, i always manage to capture smile and happiness in my pics. At least i can sense the happiness behind every pic that i took. Pictures represent our life long journey. Flipping through them will remind us the life we have been through and the memories behind every laughter and smile is very valuable that u cannot trade with anything in this world. Ya.. No trading for my pic with my atuk. Sad..So now, i want to snap as many pics i can, and be in as many photo as i can. So that i wil remember and be remembered..

I bought It!!

Ok!! I bought it!! Like a little girl jumping like mad cow after she was given candy, I am doing it right now!! Jump!! Jump Jump!!! Hoop!!!!..I bought a SLR. ahakzz.. D60 with Salwa yesterday night. The history was created at 10pm on 14/3/2009 when i passed the big sum of money to the shop owner indicating that i'm officially a SLR owner (or should i address myself as Nikonian?) akazz.. Maniac. With this down turn and I'm still spending crazily on the not so necessary stuff.. Salwa never mind la, she earn big income. Hehehehe..

Well. I don't spend much on clothing and makeup and shoes anymore. Actually i never spend much on those thing. I stopped buying clothes last year when i'm in Phuket. Luckily, my closet still filled with stacks of untouched garments. My spending will always go to travelling fees and buying gadgets. My mom fav tag " Hang kalau ada duit p bejalan, pastu bli benda merepek. Tapi marka tak dak, gila apa ka?". She's married at the age of 21 and have me at my age. And me? still single and refuse to be available.

Not to say i manage my money well. My monthly expenses are only on simple meal. I stay with my parents. So i manage to save up and give to my parents at the same time. Heheheh my family practise " the more u spend on your family, the more you gain". Believe it or not, i think it works. Although i don't really earn much, but i seldom face the ikat perut time. Alhamdulillah la.

So whenever i want something badly, i'll go crazy wanting it. I'll even dream about it. So no matter how, i'll get it. I will and i do. But i'm patience at the same time. I'll draft some saving plans few months before and start calculating so that i wont be economically burden. It hurts to pay that big sum of amount. But the satisfaction that i felt are beyond words could describe. I don't know how long i'm going to bug around with this piece of my heart (d60!!and i'm super known as the HOT-HOT Chicken shit by my close friends and my brother..!!), but now? I'm in love with It!!

p/s:
Hmm thinking to name this thing.
They should create more stylish bag to accomodate this camera. So unstylish and dull color!! I want red colored beg!!

iPhone In town!!

Faez is the first name i remembered when i found out that iphone officially will be launched in Malaysia (officially). With the collaboration with maxis. So of coz there will be some plan that definitely going to benefit them more than us. So called marketing strategy. We were on the phone for few minutes. When me and him on the phone, things that can ended up in 2 minute pn we can delay till half an hour. So prot pret here and there, i gave him the link. Then he came out with the statement that his lec is selling the songlap version. Underwater i supposed. Underwater? so don't mentioned about the quality. Yet better and far cheaper price. And every month we do not need to be tied up with the plan. Below are the not so cheap plan.

Plan iValue 1 iValue 2 iValue 3 iValue 4 Monthly commitment RM 100 RM 155 RM 250 RM 375 iPhone 3G Price 8 GB RM 1900 RM 1780 RM 1490 RM 1080 16 GB RM 2290 RM 2160 RM 1870 RM 1470 Included usage Minutes2 333 mins 667 mins 1500 mins 2500 mins Data3 500 MB 1 GB 2 GB 3 GB Additional usage Minutes 15 sen 12 sen 10 sen 10 sen Data (KB) 0.5 sen 0.5 sen 0.5 sen 0.5 sen SMS 10 sen 10 sen 10 sen 10 sen Advance payment4 RM 200 RM 200 RM 500 RM 1000

My top up per month never exceed rm 30 currently. So this offer is totally out you go!! hehehe so been thinking on the songlam set. I nearly forget, hp is no longer a priority to me. I still remembered during uni time, most of biochem students were under JPA. Free money kan (duit rakyat tu!! Ako baru realize!!hahahah ), so we tend to practice trend to change hp once a year. So when the seasons arrived, all of us will start showing off our new hp. The winner is always this little gurl Ad. Her hp hardly stay for more than 6 months. And she always traded in her hp at cheaper price. Geram betul.. And i changed once. N76 which ended up in lubang jamban in Sunshine Square. Time tengah buat business la...hehehe

Damn. hehehe..Rajin betul i used damn to damn the damn situation. Then i aimed for w910i. That was 8 months ago, and now, i'm still stick to ngage and my mother's hp with limited function but easy to use. It's ok. It wont hurt la using ugly and unstylish hp. Hehehe I'm more or less the same as the hp oso. Dare to be ugly!! ahakz.. I think most of my frens still remember the most controversial pics in my friendster. Ahakz.. Say la wat ever u wanna say. This is the best personal photo I've ever taken. Proud babe!!

Extended!!

Kalau rezeki tak ke mana kata orang..

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This is the most suitable tag line that i can describe my current condition. 25Th March is the date that i was supposed to leave Spansion. Today i received a surprising news from my Boss on the extension of my contract to another 3 months. Ahahkzzz.. Means i have another 3 more months to gain the knowledge in this line and the best is the atm has continuous addition. !! Heheheh so my tight financial plan can be extend oso. When first Linda came to me telling that she's going off this Friday, the day's mood was slightly effected. "5-2 = always 5" but it wouldn't be the same. One by one..I'm better after the Subuh prayer..

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Over the breakfast, my Boss came out with the proposal to extend my contract. He'll try to pursue the management to approve that. The whole table was in silent. I myself was lost of words. Well it will be stupid if i said no!! It's a bless ok!! but what i'm worried about are the reactions of the corp staffs. Well I'm one of the trouble staff that repeatedly do mistake, staying back might caused unsatisfaction among them. As the previously there are better staffs who laid off due to the end of the contract. Now I'm staying. issshhh..It's a bit unfair for them. Sorry Jane and Yoges...

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Then my Bos reminded on the Rezeki. If it's yours than it will be yours in any way. So alhamdulillah..I believe that if u are doing your work sincerely despite of the rewards and paid, people will realise and appreciate it.. So thanks to everyone involved..

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To Linda..:

May your new journey start off good and you'll continue to excel in this field.

To another 3..:

We'll still keep on fighting!!

To Mira..:

Together we strike..!!

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Behind the Rain

I like rain. Sometimes I don't. Naa...Most of the time i don't. Coz I get sick easily if i'm under the rain..But being under the rain, feel every drop of it against your skin..looking at the sky..with the eye close and the blank mind...relax..cold..shiver..wet..

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I enjoy raining when I'm indoor..I'll standby the door, i'll look outside, and take a deep breath to smell the rain. Different environment produce different smell. Fresh, not so or polluted. The best rain will be at night. When it rain heavily, the number of motorcycles and vehicles at the Karaoke or entertainment outlet in front of my house will be less. I might sound so narrow minded. But to me, those growing up kids and the useless-abandon-husband-with kids enjoying themselves unlimited is supposed to be washed away.

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Where are their senses? Those kids instead of giving money to their parents, ask for money to enjoy themselves with bunch of friends. In the end what they get? Things will get better? For temporary maybe. In the end they still have to face the problem. So, is it worth? On the other hand, UOM (Useless-OldMan) with not so stable financial background enjoying the accompany of young sexy cheap perempuan. Dancing unconditionally, touching the supposed to be forbidden area. Wife at home? sitting on the sofa, waiting patiencely for the husband. When ask about house expenses? No money..!!

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I dont know what am i crapping here. But suddenly i felt an anger towards those irresponsible human being. Gila apa ka depa ni. Guna la otak pikir.. Anak bini kat rumah tunggu depa bagi makan. Ni tak. P menggedik ngan ppuan murah!! Tabur duit kat ppuan2 tak guna tu.. Anak bini biar kebulur kat rumah. Damn them!!

Refreshment

Now is 4 in the morning. I barely can open my eye but still half staring at the monitor trying to read some of the blogs update. I think my biological clock still couldn't manage to function well at night. I wonder, if i can stay up like this during my uni year. What I remember doing is, sleep at 12.30am weekdays. Or hang out till 4 am at mamak or explore the town with ma best frens til the wee hours.

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Recent past events was 8 hours ago. The first paid tuition class that i taught. The class started at 8. I departed from home at 7. I dropped by at the surau (the apartment has a huge, clean beautiful surau on the 5th Floor.. Thank God!!). After the prayer, i headed to the desired floor. .Not to mentioned that it's a wrong floor!!The house is 1 floor above. Malu malu.. If only uncle is there he must has laugh to pengsan. Luckily!!..

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So as i approached the house and they greeted me and sat and started teaching. Can u see the flow. Hi, Walk In, Sat, Give Notes, Teach. What I'm not used to is doing teaching without practise. What I mean is mumbling alone in the room while going through the notes. I ended sound so unconvincing while i teach. hate it!! And to my surprise, my student manage to finish the notes (which i expected to use for th 1 hour lesson) in 30 mins. Luckily, i manage to snatch 1 exercises books before i left my house. The homework did occupied their half an hour. At least I'm not taking blank money. hehehe..

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Moral value of the story: Do not under estimate others and always has backup plan. For those being a tutor or tuition teacher, always prepare extra notes and exercises for your student. Upgrade your knowledge in the subject that your are teaching is a must. I remember myself looked down on a teacher that taught me before because i think I'm smarter than she is based on the way that she taught. Ceyytt..!! What am I thinking that time!!?? Bad Me!! It's bad to think that way to a teacher. But now, being a little teacher I am, I realize that sometime we just couldn't deliver our message. It is not that we don't know. The rusty mind need some time to warm up. So student, respect your teacher!! How smart you are, your teacher always 1 step above becoz of their experience. He is still a teacher and you are his student.

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Action need to be taken : Do more exercises and reading on the topic that I'm going to teach.

The Rush

I spent the past few days wondering and lingering around with my dilemma whether or not to continue study and what field should i pursue. Thanks for the helpful advices. Well I drop by for short update. I prepared a few sets of tuition notes which I'm going to distribute to my students.

I'm a bit worry actually to teach foreign student. Well, my students turn out to be Koreans taking O-level in Han Chiang high School. What I'm afraid of is they are far smarter than I am. Then I'm going to be left clueless and blur coz my student is brighter than I am!!??? But I'm going to try my best. Hopefully the age and the past experience going to secure me this extra job.

Wait!! Don't get me wrong, I'm sincere in teaching them. Not fully for the sake of money. I repeat not fully!!! heheheh. Well let us pray together that my student understand what I'm trying to deliver. Fuhhh.. InsyaAllah..The scenery around th eappartment is really beautiful. Expecially at night. It's somewhere nearby Gembira Parade.

Nagging with care

While my father busy tong ciang tong ciang on the frying pan preparing the dinner for both of us. I came out with a question asking for his advice. Due to the economic down turn, i planned to further my study (I'm going to do it anyway). I asked him the opinion on determining the courses that i'm supposed to be in.

Since SPM, matrix and uni, i seldom get flying colors in Bio and subject related to memorizing like sejarah. It's not that i didn't work hard, i work equally hard in this subject. Yet the dart just couldn't hit the bull eye. In the end, i couldn't score well during my degree while some of my friends did. Biochemistry is a course that is surrounded by super memory + hardworking student. Which i'm totally off on both categories. I'm more into the elective subjects like language and chemistry. Actually the reason I'm still above 3 is mainly because of the elective subjects.

Papa said that i focused too much on these electives and neglect the major. Not 100% true as i still undergo the hell meditation before the exam. Maybe not that hard compare to the rest of my course mate. To those that know me, I'm sure that they realize how blur i can be when something pop to me. Then papa nagged me again and again until he cannot see my funny ugly face only then he stopped. He advice me to ask the opinion from others.

Please advice sincerely. I'm standing on the junction on my life. I don't want to take the pathway that going to bring me back to the start point. I need help to lead me to the better world. Thanks in advance to the commentors. I really appreciate it.