That day lepak ngan Che P.. Catching up this and that..
Then she threw me a mouth tight quesion: "Na.. Cer hg bgtau kt ako.. Apa yg hang cari dekat lelaki nih smpai ke la tak dak lagi.."
Was fully blown by the question and the question was banging in my head even after we departed..
Right until i stepped in the door overlooking the tiny living room with my family on free style way of making themself comfortable.. Our family are like the normal ordi family minus the affection.. Hug pn jarang gila.. Ini kan pula kiss??? Oh please!!! Even bday celebration pn considered as an awkward thing to celebrate..
That instant ive realize the 'him' needs:
1. Talk crapt with my mother.
(my ma was a total opposite to my pa..she's 10 years younger than him.. she's someone easy going and easy to talk to.. well at times she'll can be a machine gun shooting sharp words that will cross over your chest and embedded there.. she's also the person that said: "Hg tak elok pn..." repeatedly i was reminded that i am nothing but fair and tall.. and thin.. i dont have her good look, her great skin.. i am.. me.. but i think she soon came to realize that i am lucky i dont have those beautiful features.. coz that's the reason i am all protected from involving in relationship that will ended destroying me.. but..mama is a someone that can make me feel guilty and leave what i am doing to join her for a window shopping or short stroll in the park.. a person that knows what i like and im a big fan of her cooking..when i dont have super best and super close friend due to my split personality, i have my mama.. who understands me inside out and teaches me life lesson.. someone that wants me to dress up and lastly gave up because im just the plain lazy girl that loves jeans n Tee so much.. she's always bribe me in silent when pa was so strict with our expenditure.. always crack jokes that cheer us up.. a real true example of a great women.. and look at myself.. i'm not even half her skill.. sad kan...)
2. hang out in mamak with my bro and talks rubbish!!
(when i resembled my pa in terms of look and attitude.. my bro is like the mirror of my mama.. they have the ueeekkk perasan good look.. and both have easy going personality when i was a bit reserve and choose my crowd.. they mingle around well.. while im awkward in many events.. we were best friends since small without us even realize it.. though what i did was bullying him because he was damnnnn lembab!! but im always oblige into taking care of him.. he is like my destined responsibility.. i seldom helps him on his chores because what the heck should i do it when he has every single ability to do them.. we clash in personality and opinion often.. we fight, we shout, we hates each other to the bone.. but we.. were bound by blood.. the Shah siblings... those anger, hatred washed away by times.. we were just a growing up in the adult world.. trying to fit the niche.. trying to survive.. and alhamdulillah he's doing fine.. and now we are sharing nearly everything.. his shirt..heheheh..grand kan.. ako cilok ja sgala baju dia.. heheheh.. he's the one that arrange my song playlist.. the pirate that provides me with movies and dramas that i hardly touch.. the one that knows demmm super well how i think and like i said he resembles my mama.. they can read me from one click.. mencikk!!!!.. a person that said: Na.. hg tak yah bercinta.. kawin ja trus senang.. @_@??)
3. to have intelligent conversation with my pa.. Politics, science, common sense.. He'll be asking all the wat the heck opinion on wat the heck's topic.. He likes people with brain.. with knowledge.. not some empty tin that big talk with small action..
(My pa is like a 'skema' figure that often serious and can be sarcastic at times.. but hey..!!! he's the man i look up to.. he's the reason i'm who i am.. he's also the one that said: Go out.. go out and see the world.. don't get lock here.. He's that man that came in the rain with a raincoat and fetch me back with his old bike.. the man that gave me limited pocket money because he wants me to appreciate every single cents.. the man that bought me present whenever i excel in my study even though its only a set of of cheap barbie.. a man that taught me to play badminton and said that i have week hand but still sent me for badminton class because i wanted to.. a man that spent nearly RM300 per month for my tuition fees because his daughter was extremely determined to be in par with other girls.. and we were anything but rich at that time.. And i'm the closest to him among us the siao siblings.. i resembled him in many ways oso!!! gegegege.. we can mock each other face to face and will be okay after few minutes.. although he's not highly educated.. but he is a man with great leadership..starting from a small character and climbs up the career stairs.. but still rides his old bike.. sitting behind him on the bike is always sentimental to me... if i have the power to choose.. the Him is someone who is as great or greater than my pa..)
scary kan.. thought so..
Dear Allah.. though our match is arrange by You.. please Allah.. deliver me someone that fits my family and me... someone that will lead all of us to Jannah and still survive and excel in this world as well.. I've been waiting this long.. and wouldn't mind to wait longer.. I have faith in You.. will always do and forever do.. Thank you Allah..