Heavy Stone and Cloudy Sky

Isshh susah sungguh jadi human being nih.. kita dikurniakan dengan satu anugerah: emosi.. This can be bad and can turn out to be a gift.. This is also the trait that differentiate us from other living organism.. With emotion, we are able to think and act.. High 5 if you agree with me that emotions caused people to react selfishly without the word “think” or “think less” or maybe “think too much”..

That’s not the point that I’m trying to deliver.. I hate the fact that sometimes in a few days in a month, i tend to be slightly emotion.. (slightly ker? Cam banyak jer...).. hehehe tu boleh potong time PMS la..time tu ako normal skit.. hehehe.. Like now...this very moment... The feeling of depression cam menyerang.. go through veins and arteries and the end to the brain..

My emotion state is below par i guess.. This thing happen without warning.. It was ok previously then it was not after few encounters with other emotions projected from other living organism.. They did nothing.. maybe my negative aura seems to be too dominant and others positive charge couldn’t seems to neutralize it..

Beware..its a disease!!

Wat a bad beginning for a day...

Luahan Dari Penelitian

Ada post yang ako nak siarkan tapi unfortunately nak upload gambar sial lambat ternet kat rumah nih..maka kena la bertapa lantas bersabar kejap menyimpan post tu tuk disiarkan sok di lab..hope hope en kat lab tu tak berebut ternet lagi la ngan ako..hehehe...

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Post ni kira ulasan kepada post yang bakal ako tampalkan la..

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Melalui pembabitan ako ngan budak sekolah menengah kebelakangan nih menyedarkan ako satu perkara penting... Cikgu sekalian: Pendekatan maki hamun, provokasi yang keterlaluan dah agak ketinggalan zaman.. dan perlu dengan serious nya memikirkan sesuatu cara yang lebih berkesan tuk laksanakan sesuatu task.

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Selaku cikgu.. apa yang lebih penting? pelajar ikut cakap kita dengan bebai nya atau dengan senyuman..? Bukan susah dan bukan mudah juga untuk kita ambik hati mereka.. Budak-budak tidak suka dijerkah dengan kata-kata yang kesat.. (sesungguhnya tiada org yang ska!!).. mmg mereka nakal dan jika tidak dikawal dengan tegas, akan terpesong akhlak mereka.. tapi sentuh lah hati mereka ngan keihklasan kita... remaja boleh terima sekiranya dimarah berkena dengan tempatnya dan gayanya.. mereka bisa saja menerima kata-kata nasihat tegas yang diselang-selikan dengan lawak..

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kita suma pernah melalui hidupan sebagai remaja sekolah.. mungkin situasi dan keadaan kita berbeza-beza.. namun cikgu yang sempoi sentiasa akan berbekas dan dikenang kita kan? definasi sempoi bagi ako lah: tak bising sgt, cool, lawak, bijak dalam apa yang dibuat, dedikasi, tegas dan murah dengan senyuman.. Ako tak teragak-agak tuk score dalam subject depa.. sbb ako ska cara depa ajar n keseluruhannya..

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cikgu sememangnya memainkan peranan yang sangat besar dalam hidup kita suma.. sbb cikgu juga lah kita boleh benci sesuatu subjek sehingga merah saja stiap kali exam.. (instead of fikir: mampus la kat depa sbb tak belajar..apa kata think back: cara ako tak kena nih.kena guna style lain nih.).. bukan semua orang ada kegigihan untuk excel atau berjaya dalam hidup sbb dia mahukan begitu.. banyak bergantung kepada faktor sekeliling..

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maka.. ako tak tou ako merepek apa kebenda dgn bahasa ako yang tungging langgang.. i sound stupid in watever language i used!! harap maaf pada yang terasa..

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ako akhiri dengan: letak lah diri kita diatas kedudukan mereka.. suka kah kita sekiranya kita diperlakukan sedemikian rupa?

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*treat people the way u want people to treat u*

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eh ada lagi.. sial betui depa tak lulus kan exam KPLI ako..baru buh ayat-ayat pedas skit dah reject..ako nih cikgu yang agak baik tau.. yukkss.. your lost!!

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Updated Delayed Post

Hola Bloggers.. Fuh.. cam busy siut kebelakangan ni ngan kerja selain kerja lab..

1. This week adalah week terakhir tuition ako.. Pasni.. lega.. No more comitment.. Saya telah free untuk dibook ke mana-mana pasni.. hekhek..

2. Berlangsungnya program-program anti-tobacco "BERTEKAD" dibawah naungan supervisor ku.. Puas n best!!

3. Sila lawat blog http://bertekad.blogspot.com/ yang akan ako cuba usahakan agar berjaya!!hahaha drama.. kalau ako tak malas.. Tak pa..banyak lagi akak-akak fasi n abg fasi akan update..

4. Ako dah bertambah gelap gara-gara aktiviti outdoor ako bertambah..

5. Maaf to ajk-ajk program BERTEKAD yang tertempias penyakit n angin stuborn ako n tabiat "wanting to do things my way"....oppss.. will try my best to reduce n not to repeat them again!! Gomen..sincerely..

6.Ako tgh gunakan laptop adik hitamku selama 3 minggu.. yeahh!! dia tinggalkan tuk ako..maka ako berlagak ngan laptop ringan ini.!! ako nak beli yan gbaru next year!! Aminn..

Inspirational Inspire the Uninspired?

I've got this from a dear friend of mine.. Bagus nih tuk suma nih..smangat akak fasi dtg lagi..hehehe.. For the incoming year of tigers.. Gan beiiii! hehehe
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Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,
Cleveland, Ohio

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It' OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. (Do i need to do this?tak kot..heheh)
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Post Hujung Minggu

Dulu.. weekends are the least favourite days.. sbb i'll be away from friends and classes. I'll end up crawling in the hostel (slept late the night before..watch full stretch of korean drama) or maybe out at night membelah malam with me gang (aikk that doesnt sounds boring pn..heheh statement ekor tak kena kpala..hehehe).. Right after i stepped to the world of working, i'll be counting when the weekends arrive although its only monday.. hehehe... These few weeks have been tiring weeks for me. I'm mentally and physically tired.. With recent anti-tobacco programs i joined, with the extra tuition classes that were requested, chaos during the program preparation.. fuhhh.. letih nya~~.. Sunshine was having claimed-to-be-big-mega-sale.. ako pn go wild n pick some for me, mama n c adik hitamku.. tanpa manyedari oohh gaji tak masuk lagi rupanya..maka balance akaun tuk last month dah abis rupanya..hekhekhek...This week my adik hitam balik rumah.. heheh friday night g cari oblong kat Jalan Tgh (one of the famous n well known for the oblong), then saturday for midnight muvie- Ninja (bodo tak best!!)..

The pics from BERTEKAD program

scatching

other group's scatch
merah - warna ku..

group ako menang!! yeahh!!
all group presenting their work
Darshan - Our Centre's best speaker
time todevide the hamper.. the biggest hamper
Akak-akak fasi bahagikan makanan..

draw draw!!
Hasil dari 4 groups berbeza.. Kanan skali tuh group ako!!hehehe

tengkorak rule??!!


budak2 nih baik n best!!
the girlzz

Hari Pertama Yang Sangat Bermakna

Today was the first time ako turun site.. Ya.. Collecting hair samples from the active heroin injectors. I was super freak put the day before.. Some advices and consolations from friends (not to forget some kata-kata gempar from some..ceyytt!!i was alhamdulillah fine..) manage to cool me down. I even asked my senior

Ako: how should i project my facial expression.. can i smile?or kena masam ja memanjang.. ? Seniors: Dun worry, just act normal and dont fake smile to them, they might feel offended..

Ooh.. I prepared my gear in the travelling pouch. Bought a new pair of special scissors, some plastic sealed bags, sticker for labelling purposes. Ako mmg super smangat + cuak.. My lec shot me with a phrase when i tried to conslut him to let me follow my seniors..

lec Ako : "If u r afraid then why u choose this topic? Please dont have too negative prespectives on the addicts. Some of them are kind and friendly." berbekalkan dengan kata-kata ini, ako nekad.. Im going to get involve in this.

The meetings went on very smoothly despite of the hot sun. Everyone was very coorperative. my hand was shaken and vibrating when i hands on the first head. Dah la..hahah mamat tu hensem lak..hahaha oppss.. sial tul..hahaha.. (ako pkai gloves ok!!). Every necessory information was recorded and labelled on the plastic packet. From the short survey conducted: ive gather some very informative facts:

1. They felt so grateful and happy when we make such efforts to go down and meet them. Even going to conduct counseling for them. At least it shows that they are people who are more fortunate than them still care about them.

2. Active heroin and morphine abusers are seldom actively invlove in active sexual activities. They get high with the drug. Some of them even not married till the end of their life. Both morphine n heroin (which is known as opiates) gave the high sensation that they are able to eliminate other was of getting high (sex for instance).. other stimulant drugs (shabu, ganja....) are the one yang selalu associate with crime (rape, ragut)..

3. The kids at the dark area are usually not interested in going to school. Some school even situated far-far away from their house. They hang around and waste their time thus pick up all the skills from their adult friends and even parents.

4. Inject kat highway means injection at the groin..yeah..tadi baru tau..

5. We were treated with mineral water from 7e each.. Ako selawat la skit..hehehe nak gelak sat before wat kenyataan nih.. kot-kot la dia jampi ako suruh tringat kat depa slalu..hehekhek..siao!!

Penat tapi berbaloi.. I was awaken from my comfort zone. How can my seniors are so sincere in helping them and try to improve the addicts life quality. They gave out counseling to the people labelled as - sampah masyarakat dengan hati yang sangat ikhlas.. U can see from the way they conducted the meetings earlier. If more people (fortunate like us) make more such moves and efforts in helping them, i strongly believe that at least they wont felt left out and might get back to the right track. knowing that the world out there wont look down on them, wont pandang hina on their past.

I promised myself..I'll try my best to tag along as often as i could during my seniors sessions. At least i might able to repeatedly remind myself that my life might be short, but i want to fill them with hope. Hoping that the world for the next generation is better, hope that everyone i know are in good condition, hope that those invlove will find back the correct path, hope that those who are still in the early stage to look back and stop now on what your are doing.. Hoping strongly that at least, another child will be born and raise up in the better quality of life.. Let us pray together for them.. Amin...

Out Of Connection

Story 1:

"Homeless to Harvard" aired in Hallmark again and again. And i watched it again and again.. and aspired again and again... Frankly speaking.. Im always into motivating stuff that were deliver in interesting ways.. movies, books, songs.. (shuhh me away from any conference that for sure im going to fall fast asleep).. Im fine with talk or ceramah as long as there's humour slipped in between.. In conclusion.. Less complicated facts the better.. waaaawaaa.. berani mati budak sains make such confession.

Story 2:

Friday was a hot sunny day like any other day.. until..

time: 2.45 pm
venue : In front of USM traffic light (Bukit Gambir Side)

when i was singging my heart out with Spice Girl song.. suddenly the engine just died.. I was like.. what??!!.. made few attempts in starting the car. the song still on.. so the battery was fine..last last.. I picked up Cik Ruby and dialed on-call-hero.. I started off the conversation with .. "heheheh..pa..hehehe (tgh takot cuak nih kena marah)..the car just stopped.. i couldnt start.. hehehe can u please come.. i think im out of petrol..".. my pa "Hmmm..hmm..".. Fuhh... luckily i found the emergency light.. pressed it and took out my bag, walked out, lock the car and waited at the guard post..hekhek.. the SLK was there.. kesian dia.. pa came.. with tong of petrol.. and i was tasted with some kata-kata pedas..wawawa...sekian..please make sure that your vehicle is filled with petrol constantly..

pic malas taken from PENANG BASE JUMP 2009

Anything I'm Not

Days.. Weeks.. passed since my last update. There's been up and down moments that were not being able to express in words.. Up till this moment.. Lenka's Anything Im Not seems to fit the frame.

Anything I'm Not

Gimme a break, a little escape
I am so tired of being me
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different
Anything I'm not
I'm not

I will never be, I will never be you, no
I will always be, I will always be me, that I know
But oh, even though I'm happy being me
I want to get away from all this harsh reality, oh