Tuesday, May 24, 2011


I dreamt last night.. Absurd dream..

I was so pissed in the dream when someone I think is somehow involved with me said after I put down my phone: “ Siapa tu? laki ka ppuan?” that I decided to end whatever involvement we had.

I will be glad if I were to be asked “Is everything OK?” rather than some random jealousy words. See how I react and im not even involve in anything yet!!!

Friday, May 06, 2011


On the numerous encounter with love-based novels.. i came across this one word that i found hmm should i say interesting? Crush...

Bull shit aah if u said u never come across such feeling.. Urban dictionary define crush as "it may grow into true loveor your feelings might wear away so don't jump into conclusions and mistake a silly crush for love"...

yayyy... why am i raising this issue again? because i find its ok to have crush to someone even though you or the other parties are occupied. u cant stop yourself from attracting to someone in that nick of time when you realize that zapppp he/she is so interesting (define your own "interesting").. attraction is similar to magnet.. what differentiate them from each other is magnet attracted to just any opposite charge of it's... while human attracted to certain criteria, style, look, background... these subjective things are beyond words to describe...

you'll find yourself being extra alarmed and curious in picking up details about your crush.. some with courage will initiate the first move... some will just be in the corner and watch him/her silently... what is actually great about crush for someone soooo free is having a target to hunt (virtually)... yayyyy in other word.. "stalk".. everything is made possible with the internet... and with people berlumba-lumba posting up their latest photos and status.. lg senang kan... you'll might end up disappointed knowing that his/her is taken or maybe his/her is not as what you pictured in your mind... but those adrenalin rush was fun!!! ahakz.. but..please limit yourself as a civilized stalker... Do NOT down great yourself by interrupting your crush's life..

rewinding the old fav activity of mine: crushing and decrush in less than 1 week or maybe month.. ntah.. timeline is indeed very hard to keep track with... i think that's how i actually survive being single all these while.. (despite having great friends around.. give credit to yourself if u think u fall on this category!!! ^^).... it was fun imagining the days we might spend with each other if it just happen to develop to further stage... but be real.. crush is like an interesting subject to dissect... you wanted to explore as much as you can about your subject.. in silent (i prefer this)... after you learn everything that you want about your subject and without him noticing (sometime i wish i am noticed!! but demmm am to plain to be visible..)... then the feeling just died off... after you found the next crush.. ahahaha or the crush is no longer lingering around your mind.. that's why... "feel" is an extremely unpredictable adjective...

so... those out there with commitments... don't blame yourself if u have crush towards anyone... you just need to learn how to neutralize the crush.... how to control those feeling so that it wont effect your relationship... no one said it is easy to do so... you need time and full consciousness.. let the feeling flow... it's like the wind... that will blow upon you and chill u up and next.. its gone...

p/s: one thing im curious to know... how to know that you crush has crush towards you

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Ako nk balik awal hari ni

Once a month when your on red flag period... even tiny little thing will shake your whole day of... and i am sangat emotionally unbalanced... !!