Living again

So i got the sign and it's say: "Let Go"

.:.fullfilment.:.

sometime.. something is best to be done: alone

Sense and senseless

Sentence is formed from the arrangement of words
How you put those words together determines the emotion that you are delivering
If a message can still be conveyed without inserting "anger" and "hatred"in
Why would one wants to stir the other party's sentiment?

hey!!hey!!

Demm!!
Even in my dream you are ignoring me???
Tapi tak kisah.. gua still ska lu!!!

talking to the moon

hey there..
How have u been??did u eat well? Btw donn't be picky with your food..

Day and night

-what's left is old messages that I repeatedly read and laugh-

.:.Mask.:.

Laughter and smile... are my mask for sadness and sorrow..

kosong

Tiada maki tau cacian..
Tp ako tetap rasa kosong..kosong..kosong..

HIT

Zikr is just a repetitive recitations until... you are at the right place.. at the right time.. and led by the right imam.. 

Hasbi Rabbi, Jallallah

Maafi qalbi, ghairullah

Nur Muhammad, Sallallah
Haqqu, Laa ilaaha illallah

Meaning:
Sufficient is for me, my Rabb; Allah is Great
There is none in my heart besides Allah
The Light of Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him)

Truly, there is no God but Allah 

写给消失的你

你回答啦！！！
今日一早起身，有点惊讶。。
眼睛睁大大的。。
哈哈！哈哈！

你的失踪。。
留下好多问号。。

真么跟你说呢。。
我不是像一般女人。。
我是一个很注重友情的人。。

是。。我对你有好感。。
但如果你因为那。
而觉得不舒服。。
就开口说吧。。

不要没交代的消失好吗？
别担心。。
我会渐渐的整理我的感觉。。

-kan-

天黑黑的。。

您在那儿过得好吗？

虽然, 您先在对我已不理不睬。。

可是不知为何， 我还是如往常一样。。

简直都会望您的facebook那儿打听一下您的生活。。

看来您还是好好的。。

奋斗吧！

虽然我知能暗里为您打气。。

可是我，还是祝你成功，

祝你完成梦想。。

What's hot from the pot?

Assalamualaikum to the muslim friends and Hola to the non.. 

As promised. the soup! 

The ingredients. I can't remember the name myself. Please view the previous post.

Dump all the herbs with the pre-soaked dried mushroom in a boiling water. 

Cook them for about 20-25 min. 

Ya I know.. they looked: BORING! 

After 20-25min, add in chicken. 

My 2 person serving i used quater chicken. 

Water for the soup is 2.5 bowls. (If too much, u'll dilute the soup. It'll taste worst)

Leave them for another 20-25 min.

::::Voila:::: 

easy huh! try it out. U can mixed and match between the herbs just in case u bought them in excess. Tips to save: go to the shopping complex, look at the pre-packed herbs for various purposes, jot down/ draw the pic, come back, do ur own! the method are basically the same. Dump and boil.

Chinese traditional herbs

You can call me racist or maybe old soul.. but i intend to keep some of the chinese heritage and culture alive in me.. Doing so doesn't mean that i'm any less malay than you are. I'll add more colors to my life and to me! ^^V

I'm going to start with cooking.. Living far from home, i miss home cooked food so much.. Due to the cross culture, the food prepared are non monotonous. Curry, soup, vege, meat, chicken are prepared in different ways and method. Western? That's very very seldom in the menu. Does't mean i dislike it. Just not that into my liking. In love with Asian food too much i think! ^^

I bet i can't do good curry. So i'm gonna put some effort on soup and vege. Pa gave me few ingredients and recipe for the herbs soup. 

Chinese angelica root 当归 (dang gui)

Pa said this one that gave the herbal smell when u put into the soup. Mama n bro don't really like it. Too 'ubat' for them. According to this, it is good in treating women related illness and improve reproductive system. I think i bought it RM 3+ for 50g. Only insert one or 2 piece. If more, it will taste so like soup 'org dalam pantang"

Chinese wolfberries (枸杞子 gou ji zi)

Instead of gou ji, pa mentioned "ling ji". Ntah la.. 1 spoon full of this for 1 serving. I love the taste of the soup with this in. But i don't indulge them too much after they are cooked. Only like it it as it enhances the sweetness to the soup taste. They'll turn lembik after they are cooked. So u can ignore them! The same website also relates this to improve eye sight and beneficial to the liver. 

Chinese yam 淮山 (huai shan)

Nothing so special about this. Chalky looked. And brittle. Doesn't contribute to the taste of the soup. Basically it is tasteless. But the benefits are shocking man! "enhance vigour, promote muscle growth and repair worn-out tissue, and alleviate bodily weakness after a long-term illness." daebak!!!

Codonopsis root 党参 (dang shen)

I was told that to insert only 1 / 2 piece of this. It promotes general health. According to Pa again, Dang shen is seldom eat after it is cooked. If u intend to eat, peel off the outer coating layer. And the inner lining is eatable. 

Dried lily bulbs 百合 (bai he)

This is my mother's fav. If she's the cook of the soup, she'll dump in 2x my father's amount! It taste like nuts after it is cooked. "It is believed to be good for the lungs and it appears in many anti-flu recipes."

Red dates (红枣 hong zao)

This is another sweetening agent. Around RM 2+ for a pack of 100g from Giant (i think!but it is quite cheap). Can be obtained widely in supermarket or chinese herbs shop. You can so called it a multi-vitamin and minerals agent. 

"Tonic soups made from a combination of red dates, astragalus, dried goji berries, ginseng, and dang gui were fed to those recovering from surgery to improve immunity, strengthen the body and prevent relapses." 

Usually, all these ingredients or mixing of this and that will be mixed together while boiling the soup. Chicken and meat can do the wonders (pork too!). I would personally prefer chicken, coz meat gave out too heavy taste to the soup. While chicken are a bit light. As easy as throw them in, close the cover, let the heat dance around them. Maybe u want to add some dried mushroom in it (pre-soak it please!). 

Voila!! A tonic soup consists of all the health beneficial item ready to serve. Peeps! these are only theories. Have not done any practical yet. I'll post on the result if.. only if.. i manage to make them look like eatable! 

I.me.cook.bad.good.like

I am never a good cook.. then why do i take such an effort to cook after i came back from work?
Because i never enjoys tapau main meals.. I'm fine with dining in.. But to bungkus back and eat them in silence in the room is such a sad thing for me.. As sad as eating alone in the public.. So.. i am going to continue experimenting.. soup will always be the top list!! i'm a forever soup lover yawl!!!

Life

Sometimes we just want to be with the person we like, but when they don't like you back, you really want them to be happy and at the same time you don't.

hari ini jiwa kacau

Can't find a reason to be there..
It will be a year plus of nowhere..
I even bought a farewell gift..
Again, I can't bring myself to give..
Look like I'll stand by the window and wave
To all the midnight flight that rave
If only I am more brave

ottokeh??

Raya..medan tersibuk utk bertanyakan soalan cepuk cemas+ rimas.. Bla nk kawin? Kes ako undur satu tapak: bla nk ada boyfriend?..ha haaah!! Ako pernah post b4 about the man yg fits the pic..poyo kan? Boleh pulak nk main pilih2!hengat hot sangat bnyk kumbang nk hingap? Phuiiii!! Tambah2 lak bestie sorang yg jongos lebih dr ako..dh sah jd isteri org hari ni..olala.. Tp pikir2 blk..timbang2 blk..ako still rasa ako sgt tak sesuai to be attached to..giving some space in your heart to someone else..dah rasa sesak dh hati ako ngan people that has been with me for years..dh berakar dh..how to accommodate more?? How to celeb raya with your-non-blood-family? How to eat on a table that was originally meant for 4 and now there's addition to it?? Worst of all: how..how to err love??

I am sorry

I am sorry..
I am sorry that i am not pretty enough to catch the male’s attention from miles ahead…
I am sorry i am not cute enough to have people turn twice at me..
I am sorry i have nothing on my features that stands out..
I am sorry i am not fragile enough to have male competing to protect me.. to help me…
I am sorry my presence brings annoyance rather than enjoyment
I am sorry i grew up so blunt and straight..
I am sorry i am not warm enough..
I am sorry for being cold and stone hearted..
I am sorry for being boring and idealess..
I am sorry i don’t have the magical hand.. I messed things up rather than fix them
I am sorry my heart is not pure and naïve enough to be loosing grip in the purest way..

Sometimes..

I felt that i am sorry.. I am sorry Marina.. I am sorry that u have to be me.. You have to be this difficult and tangled.. I am sorry.. I really am..

Ya

Ya Tuhan..
Betul dan tetapkan lah niat ako..

-amin-

Unspoken

Ya benar.. Ako unattached...

BUT!!! That is not a ticket to treat me as rebound kot..

Using me to get over your previous relationship??

aahhh...You are making me felt as if i am so 'easy' aah..

No. Bye

Ya.. it is just a wind blow.. 

The end is found..

Slightly.. crushed.. 

I'll get over it.. Insyallah... 

and

Alhamdulillah.. Thank you Allah..

For showing me the way.. 

Is it just a fling?

A week ago..
everything was fine..
Now..
I'm in hot plate..
Guessing is fun but tedious and tiring sometime..
Applying back: I'm the master of my own emotion..
Get a grip yo girl!!!
Don't let memories hunt you..
Though the moments were memorable..

Memories!!
I'm gonna let you occupy me for sometimes..
Because you are beautiful..

MS does not fit in it

There were times when people i've never seen before invited me out..and i rejected by giving endless excuses.. They are either new friends or old and long lost friend.. Nothing specific.. They haven't seen me for ages or never see me before.. Like i said in my FB page.. Pictures tell thousand of lies.. I may look extra hyper in the pics or some define as err ''cool''.. but i'm nothing like that.. ask my close friends.. I'm just another annoying entity that talk rubbish and i am "BORING".. occasionally out of topic to chat.. i mean most of the time... so i choose to avoid meet up.. especially when the subjects are only the two of us.. 

Another thing is the look.. Yes.. quote always says: true beauty starts within you.. my inner is not that clean.. my heart is tainted..^^.. Again.. Sometimes camera loves you more than the reality... Make up helps to cover your flaws.. but when I'm standing in front of the mirror examining myself.. i know where i stand... And between routine jog and putting on daily face foundation, i find the latter one a burden to me! When imagining what plays in the heart of my date: 'ohh.. she's different from the pics".. i turn myself off.. fine.. no outing.. not when its only the two of us.. and US is the newly-make-friend/jejak kasih friends. 

Attire.. I'm not a trendsetter.. but i have my own way of mix-matching which always turns out to be : miss-matching.. i'm never someone that stand our in the crowd with flashing style.. I know you have to be yourself.. But when i am in the public.. u know.. u feel like you don't belong there.. its like u are so out of style and still you are there.. 

It's all comes from the words: Self Confidence.. I have mine.. But on above situations: NO... So i just wish to live a life with my existing circle of friends.. I just don't fit in 'Date'.. Its not like I'm going to starve myself if i don't date kan!!!!! 

Craping

Ako ada low bp.. Ingat lagi time final form 4, ako puasa. Time tu paper biology klau tak salah.. ntah mana salahnya, ako blackout while answering the paper. time tu sahur pn ako blasah cm biasa ja... I nearly thought i am going to loose my sight... luckily i was sitting at that time.. penat ako gonyoh mata.. tapi still ako nmpk black spots everywhere.. so that paper ako dpt B- kot tak salah..sedey tak hengat.. sbb cikgu yg ajar bio tu ako suka.. baik orgnya... time tu pulak ako budak baru.. dah la mai dari sekolah harian biasa yg locally known as 'sekolah jahat'... at least klau dapat result ok skit tak dak la rasa cam bongok sangat.. hohoho tp nk buat camna.. niat tak betul la tu.. Lepas ja dari tu, ako yg kurang berguna ini sangat berhati2 dalam memilih tuk ganti puasa (sila sedia maklum: saya sangat la liat nk berpuasa..)..  Days with heavy activity akan dielakkan sama sekali.. 

Puasa tu satu ibadat yg mulia.. saya tau... tapi utk hari berpuasa sunat tu, elok la kiranya ibadat ini tidak mengganggu fungsi harian kita... sekiranya badan kita boleh koordinasi dan adapt pada keadaan berpuasa dan masih dapat beri konsentrasi penuh.. then go ahead.. tapi ako rasa... kiranya itu menjadi  faktor kita mengantuk dan berkali2 tersengguk semasa dalam kelas.. tambah-tambah kelas tu maha boring pulakkan.. ako yg tak puasa ni pn jenuh nk sengkang mata tahan tak tido.. last2 caffeine la sangat membantu.. dengan tertidur semasa sesi pembelajaran.. (dalam group kecik pulak..) tidak kah itu memberi persepsi yg tidak indah utk tenaga pengajar. Lagi2 tenaga pengajar itu non-muslim.. Secara tidak langsung pandangan dia terhadap puasa sedikit sebanyak tercalar.. Input yg masuk pn tak banyak..

hmmm gitu.. tapi terpulang la.. 

1 down.. Few more to go..

My pa said yesterday night: U better bring all your shoe go over there.. Don't go there and buy shoe again aah!!! (He's in bad mood lately as the departure date in approaching... car didn't wash la, shirt fold don't know how to take in la... rindu lattew!! hehehehe)

Shhhhh... 1 wish granted.^^.

Morning Feed

DO disagree with her
“Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.


From Here

Nak post juga!

Phewww.. at last i broke the news to 'leave' to my lecturer.. it was a nerve breaking moment just to deliver: "Dr.. saya minggu depan dan nk kerja". My reason was: "My motivation is so low skarang ni Dr. I need some external drive to revive back my momentum". celaka kan excuse ako? hehehehe..

The feedback was surprisingly: not negative. Some advices before i left the room and I felt like huge bricks were lifted from my shoulder. 

Presentation for Journal Club on GC-MS went on alhamdulillah well.. The session was changed from presentation to discussion. More relax and layback. Indeed more effective. Hopefully the future session is equally smoothly as well. 

It was such as a stressful time when u are in queue to present and knowing that there will be few panels ready to attack you. And i do hate some panels that are so provocative and purposely throw questions to make us look so bad. So claimed "good intention"? Come on.. Some people are just not theoretically strong.. Just spare us some good memory on presentation will u? 

Addiction-withdrawal-treatment

"Addiction! Dependency!" 

Its's everywhere.. look around!! WE are the living example of non-drug-user that been so addicted and dependent on social media network: FB, Twitter and u name it!

I am getting worried of myself on getting hooked so heavily on FB. I was just out of control! At least once per hour I'll browse though FB and was so dreadful without reaching it! It's kind of scary when i realize that how much of my social time was attributed to FB.

It is definitely not healthy! I'm calling it a quit. It's going to be extremely tough to limit myself all of a sudden. But things have to stop! or at least on control!

Here are my vows that i wrote at 1.30 am after was on FB since 9 pm! Slaps!!!

1. I'll only allow myself to on FB ONCE! before lunch. That implies replying all the msg and even do some light stalking.. ^^..

2. Once again after lunch (Just in case someone buzz me at FB since i was so often around. Ok.. excuses! another slap!)

3. Night usually is boring if i'm not watching movie or reading any book.. So i'm going to allow myself a 1 hour timed surfing. 

4. I think i was slipping away and my motivation is at the lowest level now.. Hopefully by routinely reading the Quran's verses may improve this. (Konon!! Penyucian jiwa... hehehe..). It worked on me. though i understand nothing from what i read. But the practice was kind of a soothing tool. Peace follows after that.. [that was until i have my ipod on auto notification of FB!!].. Hope for an istiqamah practice this time.. 

-amin-

psst: Which also means i'll be blogging more frequent than ever! Can't help!! Mak suka kepo kan! 

Wish.. wishing.. Wish

Huhhh.. Wish list is supposed to be done in the beginning of the year kan? but since i was penniless back then (now still not much difference!).. I'm listing out my wish list to motivate me to work harder for them..

Long dreamt list:

1. Lumix Gf2 (Definitely a red one!)

2. ipad 3 (For movie and reading.. err novel of course!!!!)

3. Naza GTR (I'm going to ignore all the negative review on this bike... dont want to know !!No no )

4. Converse Jack Purcell Special Edition (Sial nya mahal!!!) (Replaced by normal Jack Purcell)

5. BlackBerry Bold 9900 (Always n forever BB fan)

Injury

I am known to be the magnet of self injury. 

Up to a point where my parents no longer pay any attention to: 

my limping, cuts, scars, bruises, twisted limbs.  

i felt a little bit 'out of love'.

Burnt my hand while ironing. half and hour before i cut my finger while processing fish.

few hour earlier, bleed my toe while walking pass the sofa.. Sofa!! can't u see that im passing by? huh???

Status

I 'like' a status because of the content..

Age age age

How i wish people treats age as just another number.. an increasing number..

Love - rain

It rain so often nowadays...
Sleep is so hard without lullabying sounds of rain..
Love the smell of the world after the rain..
Love the feel of the wind after it..
Love to close my eye and just feel the smell and the wind

Syukur alhamdulillah.. For giving me this small pleasure to feel Your greatness

Alice and Cat

Alice: Can you tell me which road i have to take?

Cheshire Cat: Do you want to go where i want to go?

Alice: It doesn't matter where ~

Cheshire Cat: Then why does it matter which way you go?

Alice: As long as i get somewhere..

Cheshire Cat: Then, you will arrive somewhere without doubt.. That is... if you walk long enough..

-adapted from Secret Garden Episode 11-

Slaps

The war against distraction is hard
I am heavily distracted with leisure, activities, hobbies...
Have been neglecting you lately huh..
I so deserve a slap.. eh no.. slaps!!
for those times i slipped away..

Wordless

Words..
Don't mess with them...
They.. can be cruel.. sometimes..

short

-Opportunity is meant to be ventured-

Coffee anyone?

I need caffeine..
Without it i won't faint..
Only ideas n work will drown to drain..
Nescafe 3 in 1 is regular to the vein..
A day without will be hard to sustain..
Addiction to it is a known shame...
So a milder one is in the change..
Tea... is the name..^^..

 Note: things that we like may not always be the best way.. Never limit our option to achieve the goal..(The goal is caffeine.. the source can be varied right? ^^)

A Dedication

I'm pretty bad at bidding farewell..
The heart sealed and emotions swell..

And now the clock is ticking fast..
And soon there goes the last dust..
Monday, Thursday and Saturday may not be the same to pass.

Heartbreak when i left UKM, Spansion and Secret Recipes..
Leaving behind mountains of memories..

Slowly the scar was patched and joint..
Life.. took a turning point..

I gained my laughter..

With them.. the USM fighter..

I often said i'm a loner.. 

No.. They'll always around as partner..

Together we train days, months and years...

As painful as the stretching we did..
There comes joy very much indeed..

Felt like putting down the future..
With countless competitions and matches to venture..

If only life is about enjoyment..
Then it won't be such torment..

The vow we took..
The blocks and kicks including the hook..
Will always be the remembrance to look..

Fighter, that's what we are called..
Give up and afraid are never taught..
In the ring we moved with courage and fought..
Will use it to battle when difficulty caught.

Bruises and injuries are like body arts..
Work on the priority though its hard..
What to achieve..U decide..
Leaving never meant to really depart..
Coz we are tangled in soul and heart..

Mates..
We'll cross again in the future paths..
Till then.. remain in touch..

..Wake up..

Occasionally,
When a blouse+jeans replaces t-shirt+track,
The sudden cinderella syndrom will strike..
One will become 'perasan'..
"perasan" that the crowd notice one's existence..
But tettt... people don't even blink at one's presence..
So 'one'..
Dress up because you wanted to..
Not to impress anyone..
Yes.. u want to look good..
But make sure you do it with the correct intention..
Do it for yourself..

study study study

Study is a headache thing..

Study for exam is a head spinning thing...

Study for thesis writing is a head shaking thing..

Study for interview is the worst earth quake letup-letup thing..

A "You" may not always represent a person..

My you!!!
though things often doesn't turn out to be as expected..
Failures and unwanted results are just like another daily news..
But you..
I sincerely feel for you..
And I like you..
Even time seems to envy us..
But I'm still gonna enjoy pouring my heart out on you..
I cursed my choice on choosing you.. many times..
Yet, I'm still glad i did..
I've learnt a lot.. and still learning..
From someone that afraid of your kind..
To a handy female that take pleasure by just looking at you doing ur magic..

Weekends are a great escape for me to fully concentrate on you..
No disruption.. No interruption.. Only you and me..
Flipping over manuals and papers are a way for me to understand you..
And i hate doing that.. I hate reading through words and words over and over again..
Too bad we don't speak the same language..
Or not i'll be begging you for explanation when your magic turns out to be a concert full of unexplained and unexpected interferences..
Often i'm back to square one..
and the circle of repetition will restart..

But hey.. success doesn't come easily huh..
I'm just going just bare with it..
Coz i believe that you are worth it..
You are worth my time and my sweat and sometime tears..
People just don't understand huh..
What took us so long...
I couldn't explained either..
I took you for granted..
Never forced myself hard enough to blend with you and be the person in charge..
So I'm going all out now..
Please be kind to me..
We are going to show the world: US..
Soon.. and..


"I won't give up on you
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up"

Maaf

The Heartquake

Sometimes...

I thought that I am good..
Just because I am not doing anything surfacely bad...

I began to compare myself to the worse people..

And hey.. I am not so bad...

that's how I thought..

But why..

why am I not lining up with the better ones?

and magnify how huge my flaws are...

There are times..

Ako rasa ako munafik...

Tindak-tanduk ako tak selaras dengan kata hati ako..

Ako perasan.. ako bongkak.. ako riak..

Kadang-kadang.. ako takot dengan how dark my heart is...

But i want to be good..

I want to be better..

If not.. i just want to improve...

the inside.. the inner heart..

I dont do it for heaven..

I do it for myself..

A better me in the eye of Him..

May His force doesn't stop knocking my heart..

May His protection never leave me unguarded..

May His bless be with me.. Forever...

May I, Marina Shah still able run wild..

On the right track.. and never to slip away..

Life pass by

If i am given the power to choose

That day lepak ngan Che P.. Catching up this and that..

Then she threw me a mouth tight quesion: "Na.. Cer hg bgtau kt ako.. Apa yg hang cari dekat lelaki nih smpai ke la tak dak lagi.."

Was fully blown by the question and the question was banging in my head even after we departed..

Right until i stepped in the door overlooking the tiny living room with my family on free style way of making themself comfortable.. Our family are like the normal ordi family minus the affection.. Hug pn jarang gila.. Ini kan pula kiss??? Oh please!!! Even bday celebration pn considered as an awkward thing to celebrate..

That instant ive realize the 'him' needs:

1. Talk crapt with my mother.

(my ma was a total opposite to my pa..she's 10 years younger than him.. she's someone easy going and easy to talk to.. well at times she'll can be a machine gun shooting sharp words that will cross over your chest and embedded there.. she's also the person that said: "Hg tak elok pn..." repeatedly i was reminded that i am nothing but fair and tall.. and thin.. i dont have her good look, her great skin.. i am.. me.. but i think she soon came to realize that i am lucky i dont have those beautiful features.. coz that's the reason i am all protected from involving in relationship that will ended destroying me.. but..mama is a someone that can make me feel guilty and leave what i am doing to join her for a window shopping or short stroll in the park.. a person that knows what i like and im a big fan of her cooking..when i dont have super best and super close friend due to my split personality, i have my mama.. who understands me inside out and teaches me life lesson.. someone that wants me to dress up and lastly gave up because im just the plain lazy girl that loves jeans n Tee so much.. she's always bribe me in silent when pa was so strict with our expenditure.. always crack jokes that cheer us up.. a real true example of a great women.. and look at myself.. i'm not even half her skill.. sad kan...)

2. hang out in mamak with my bro and talks rubbish!!

(when i resembled my pa in terms of look and attitude.. my bro is like the mirror of my mama.. they have the ueeekkk perasan good look.. and both have easy going personality when i was a bit reserve and choose my crowd.. they mingle around well.. while im awkward in many events.. we were best friends since small without us even realize it.. though what i did was bullying him because he was damnnnn lembab!! but im always oblige into taking care of him.. he is like my destined responsibility.. i seldom helps him on his chores because what the heck should i do it when he has every single ability to do them.. we clash in personality and opinion often.. we fight, we shout, we hates each other to the bone.. but we.. were bound by blood.. the Shah siblings... those anger, hatred washed away by times.. we were just a growing up in the adult world.. trying to fit the niche.. trying to survive.. and alhamdulillah he's doing fine.. and now we are sharing nearly everything.. his shirt..heheheh..grand kan.. ako cilok ja sgala baju dia.. heheheh.. he's the one that arrange my song playlist.. the pirate that provides me with movies and dramas that i hardly touch.. the one that knows demmm super well how i think and like i said he resembles my mama.. they can read me from one click.. mencikk!!!!.. a person that said: Na.. hg tak yah bercinta.. kawin ja trus senang.. @_@??)

3. to have intelligent conversation with my pa.. Politics, science, common sense.. He'll be asking all the wat the heck opinion on wat the heck's topic.. He likes people with brain.. with knowledge.. not some empty tin that big talk with small action..

(My pa is like a 'skema' figure that often serious and can be sarcastic at times.. but hey..!!! he's the man i look up to.. he's the reason i'm who i am.. he's also the one that said: Go out.. go out and see the world.. don't get lock here.. He's that man that came in the rain with a raincoat and fetch me back with his old bike.. the man that gave me limited pocket money because he wants me to appreciate every single cents.. the man that bought me present whenever i excel in my study even though its only a set of of cheap barbie.. a man that taught me to play badminton and said that i have week hand but still sent me for badminton class because i wanted to.. a man that spent nearly RM300 per month for my tuition fees because his daughter was extremely determined to be in par with other girls.. and we were anything but rich at that time.. And i'm the closest to him among us the siao siblings.. i resembled him in many ways oso!!! gegegege.. we can mock each other face to face and will be okay after few minutes.. although he's not highly educated.. but he is a man with great leadership..starting from a small character and climbs up the career stairs.. but still rides his old bike.. sitting behind him on the bike is always sentimental to me... if i have the power to choose.. the Him is someone who is as great or greater than my pa..)

scary kan.. thought so..

Dear Allah.. though our match is arrange by You.. please Allah.. deliver me someone that fits my family and me... someone that will lead all of us to Jannah and still survive and excel in this world as well.. I've been waiting this long.. and wouldn't mind to wait longer.. I have faith in You.. will always do and forever do.. Thank you Allah..

After

Went through names and messages in the hp inbox

Some names are new

Some are seasonal

The new was intense before went off without news

The old comes and goes..

That's how the circle works..

Nothing permananet..

Most are momentary..

Hey some name.. !!

Can't believe the flame was so fierce

Before u left without a word...

If i were the girl..

Ill be reading through them again and again..

Reviving the memories..

Alas.. Me no longer a girl..

A women im turning myself to be..

So i hit the delete key..

There goes the hopes and flirts..

May u find ur place to rest..

Coz im heading to a new route..

Voyage name!!!!

Siapa?

I am everybody's best friend..

Yet..

Who is my good friend?

Huh huh huh

There are always some moments in our life where,

spiritual believe is the reason that keep us sane..

omang omong

The rain droplets produce no sound,

unless when they hit different surfaces and at different intensity.

Same goes to human...

We are nothing unless we decide to do something and really work on doing that something...

*ako cuba kurangkan omong-omong kosongku..

No Like

Tahukah anda:

Adalah sangat hmmm kurang menarik to keep on starting a conversation with " Buat apa tu?" / "Ada kt mana?"

Sekarang.. tgh.. Hujan...

Ako.. tak berchenta.. maka ako tak biasa feel romantic "LIVE".. ako rasa tak pa la.. ako rasa semua tu after the official la.. insya Allah..

Tapi.. ako ska baca romantic novel.. ska tgk romantic drama.. yg tak keterlaluan.. yg natural.. dan tak dibuat2.. yg FEELnya disampaikan tanpa perlu kata2 muntah hijau yg wahhh ako malu nk dengar.. benar.. Ako agak pemalu org nya bila tajuk perbualan adalah "hati dan perasaan"..

terbaru... Ako terhook dengan Protect The Boss.. Lucu.. dan ako ska..

Me and teaching

One of the best compliment i've ever received as a part time tutor is: "One of the reason i like you teacher is that you understand your student well xD "

p/s: Sbb Cikgu bukan gurl-gurl and gedix gedix.. so i despise those in that category.. if so unfortunate that u'r in my class.. have a taste of early "Neraka".. ^0^

Jom!!

Bumi Allah tu luas. Ilmunya juga luas. Belajarlah dengan bermusafir. Ramai yang terlupa, alam itu sendiri guru yang hebat dalam mengajarkan ilmu Nya.

Okay.. jangan Marah!! jgn..!!! No No No.. Urgghhh Urghhh

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِىَ الله عَنْهُ : أَنَّ رَجُلاً قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم : أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ: لاَ تَغْضَبْ. فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا قَالَ: لاَ تَغْضَبْ. رواه البخاري

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. :Bahawa seorang lelaki berkata kepada Nabi SAW: Berikan daku wasiat. Baginda bersabda: Janganlah engkau marah. Lelaki itu mengulangi soalan itu beberapa kali. Baginda tetap bersabda: Janganlah engkau marah. -Hadis riwayat al-lmam al-Bukhari.

cilok from: here

Contengan Petang

Ako tak pandai nk susun ayat mega-best.. but the quote below sangatlah reflect what i felt during and after the long trip.

“Dengan berjalan dan bermusafir tu memang banyak sangat benda kita boleh belajar. Belajar dari kawasan dan persekitaran, belajar daripada orang yang dijumpai sepanjang permusafiran, belajar daripada ujian sepanjang perjalanan, belajar daripada orang yang menemani.

Sekarang baru faham. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan nota-nota muzik atau warna-warna. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar harta dan kerjaya. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar cita-cita. Bahagia bukan hanya diertikan dengan senyuman ketawa riang gembira.”

*Living here for the hereafter*

-Hlovate. Contengan Jalanan-

Lost and Found

“Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cubaan kepadamu , dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar” (Surah al-Baqarah : 155)

Cer disebalik surah ni adalah… jeng jeng.. hari tu as usual ako buat inspection dekat Qbay sbb tak tahan kan sejuk dalam lab (aha!!!).. dah dekat sejam ako pusing2… then tetiba teringat nk teraba mencari ticket parking.. maka proses molesting every single pocket on me and in the bag was conducted in the middle of the shopping complex.. guess what.. ta daaa.. tak dak.. dalam minda dah nmpk dah RM 30 melayang.. waduhh… cam ralat.. if tak hilang.. duit tu top up skit bley bli bag baru (saw one in Material.. lalalala)..

terkeluar topic sat.. Recently mind ako cam kerap struck ngan hadis2 simple and kata2 hikmah.. The anger replacement of loosing RM30 was: “Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang dengan ujian yang melebihi kemampuan umatnya.”

Thinking that there might be worst test then that.. ako pn beristifar and.. heheheh continue cuci mata!!! ahahaha.. lingering around the book stores deciding what to spent on the recent RM 200 voucher.. on the way back, ako pn drop by la check toilet just in case i dropped there while doing my ‘business’. Tettt negatif.. pasrah

climaxnya.. ako nmpk sorang officer dia (not that he was good looking or what..) tgh lepak ngan cleaner.. and camna ntah.. instead of paying attention to what he wore.. mata ako terpacak nmpk something on his hand… a parking ticket!!!! ako pn dengan tanpa segan silu..

Me: Excuse me.. is that a parking ticket? 
Him: haa jumpa dekat lantai.. u punya?

Me: boleh tgk? (tarikh, time..sebiji!!) .. ya la ini saya punya.. boleh saya ambil?

Him: ha..

Me: gaya exaggerate abih terima kasih ako flashing the card everywhere.. demm i was soooo grateful at that time…!!

Yg teruknya.. right after that ako nearly like: “ishhh RM 30 nih leh p bli beg nih”.. gegeg tapi tersadung dekat escalator and tersedar.. hekhekhek…

We are tested in every single way with or without us realizing them and in light or hard manner. It is our reaction towards the test that matters. and both ayat above really work on me that time.. and i am again grateful.. Alhamdulillah..

Wordless

It must has taken so much effort to constantly look up upon yourself (praise yourself).. nevertheless some people just do it effortlessly..

Away and away again

sabar-sabar.. post ni tiada kena mengena dengan travel tips ka hapa.. not in the mood yet to upload any pic/photo.. (partly due to the internet constrain kan.. laptop tak bawa.. and i am indeed very dreadful without him and dont have much distractions were brought along either.. should have stuff more books in my bag..).. lucky had that small ipod with few e-book saved in it.. so literally i finished 3 e-books during that few days away.. chick-flick again i'm afraid..^0^..

Learn a lot during the trip (still learning and discovering new things from time to time).. to open one heart to appreciate the nature and everything around us.. away from family and comfy zone did the magic on strengthening the inner will power and surviving ability..

p/s: gua dah start miss home.. hopeless me.. cam ni kononnya nk stay oversea? my foot!!!