No. Bye

Ya.. it is just a wind blow.. 

The end is found..

Slightly.. crushed.. 

I'll get over it.. Insyallah... 

and

Alhamdulillah.. Thank you Allah..

For showing me the way.. 

Is it just a fling?

A week ago..
everything was fine..
Now..
I'm in hot plate..
Guessing is fun but tedious and tiring sometime..
Applying back: I'm the master of my own emotion..
Get a grip yo girl!!!
Don't let memories hunt you..
Though the moments were memorable..

Memories!!
I'm gonna let you occupy me for sometimes..
Because you are beautiful..

MS does not fit in it

There were times when people i've never seen before invited me out..and i rejected by giving endless excuses.. They are either new friends or old and long lost friend.. Nothing specific.. They haven't seen me for ages or never see me before.. Like i said in my FB page.. Pictures tell thousand of lies.. I may look extra hyper in the pics or some define as err ''cool''.. but i'm nothing like that.. ask my close friends.. I'm just another annoying entity that talk rubbish and i am "BORING".. occasionally out of topic to chat.. i mean most of the time... so i choose to avoid meet up.. especially when the subjects are only the two of us.. 

Another thing is the look.. Yes.. quote always says: true beauty starts within you.. my inner is not that clean.. my heart is tainted..^^.. Again.. Sometimes camera loves you more than the reality... Make up helps to cover your flaws.. but when I'm standing in front of the mirror examining myself.. i know where i stand... And between routine jog and putting on daily face foundation, i find the latter one a burden to me! When imagining what plays in the heart of my date: 'ohh.. she's different from the pics".. i turn myself off.. fine.. no outing.. not when its only the two of us.. and US is the newly-make-friend/jejak kasih friends. 

Attire.. I'm not a trendsetter.. but i have my own way of mix-matching which always turns out to be : miss-matching.. i'm never someone that stand our in the crowd with flashing style.. I know you have to be yourself.. But when i am in the public.. u know.. u feel like you don't belong there.. its like u are so out of style and still you are there.. 

It's all comes from the words: Self Confidence.. I have mine.. But on above situations: NO... So i just wish to live a life with my existing circle of friends.. I just don't fit in 'Date'.. Its not like I'm going to starve myself if i don't date kan!!!!! 

Craping

Ako ada low bp.. Ingat lagi time final form 4, ako puasa. Time tu paper biology klau tak salah.. ntah mana salahnya, ako blackout while answering the paper. time tu sahur pn ako blasah cm biasa ja... I nearly thought i am going to loose my sight... luckily i was sitting at that time.. penat ako gonyoh mata.. tapi still ako nmpk black spots everywhere.. so that paper ako dpt B- kot tak salah..sedey tak hengat.. sbb cikgu yg ajar bio tu ako suka.. baik orgnya... time tu pulak ako budak baru.. dah la mai dari sekolah harian biasa yg locally known as 'sekolah jahat'... at least klau dapat result ok skit tak dak la rasa cam bongok sangat.. hohoho tp nk buat camna.. niat tak betul la tu.. Lepas ja dari tu, ako yg kurang berguna ini sangat berhati2 dalam memilih tuk ganti puasa (sila sedia maklum: saya sangat la liat nk berpuasa..)..  Days with heavy activity akan dielakkan sama sekali.. 

Puasa tu satu ibadat yg mulia.. saya tau... tapi utk hari berpuasa sunat tu, elok la kiranya ibadat ini tidak mengganggu fungsi harian kita... sekiranya badan kita boleh koordinasi dan adapt pada keadaan berpuasa dan masih dapat beri konsentrasi penuh.. then go ahead.. tapi ako rasa... kiranya itu menjadi  faktor kita mengantuk dan berkali2 tersengguk semasa dalam kelas.. tambah-tambah kelas tu maha boring pulakkan.. ako yg tak puasa ni pn jenuh nk sengkang mata tahan tak tido.. last2 caffeine la sangat membantu.. dengan tertidur semasa sesi pembelajaran.. (dalam group kecik pulak..) tidak kah itu memberi persepsi yg tidak indah utk tenaga pengajar. Lagi2 tenaga pengajar itu non-muslim.. Secara tidak langsung pandangan dia terhadap puasa sedikit sebanyak tercalar.. Input yg masuk pn tak banyak..

hmmm gitu.. tapi terpulang la..