AKO :

dah ada:

1. Katil baru (single solid rubber wood!! dark color..i like..)

2. Bilik Air Baru (new tiles.. ok lah.)

3. Jamban duduk baru (lama dah pecah da..)

4. Bilik yang disusun baru (baru ako sedar.. patut la org cakap.. change the position of ur furniture once awhile.. it lights up the mood.. kecuali ako perlu think of a way to shorten curtain nih.. abih sabu meja ako..)

5. SEMANGAT BARU...(tiap2 malam before ako tido.. ako berdoa: Ya Allah.. jujurkan dan bersihkan hati ako.. dan kuatkan semangat ako untuk work harder.. Amin..maka.. ako dalam masih dalam sesi pemulihan hati..ahakz.. i'll never turn to alim.. but try not to be too poyos..hehehe)

The Downside of the Ups

Most of the time we don’t know what lies in front of us.. what’s have been prepared for us.. That is why some of us was torn in the middle of the rough n tough journey.. Its very un “siok” when u know you deserve something but it turns out that you failed to achieve what seems to be easy to you.. deep down in you.. you realize that you are better than them.. but their pathway is far easier if compare to you.. rezeki, ajal, maut, jodoh suma di tangan tuhan.. yeah.. that is what I’ve been believing.. until recently..

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I was a bit let down and start to questioned my capability and my ability.. I’ve been rejected and turn down again and again by jobs or application related to government agencies.. hey.. what is wrong with me? If last time.. I’ll cursed and will continue with “Sial!!! What is wrong with you guys not accepting me!!”.. Now I really need to reflect myself.. my cockiness.. my arrogance and my pride.. probably he was sending some sign over to me.. sign for me to keep my feet down to earth.. to lead a sincere life and to turn back and glance through all the possible cracks and shit I’ve done and I’m going to do..
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I’m a fun, crazy, unpredictable girl.. No.. I used to.. I agreed.. I sued to…my close friends said so.. I’m all upside down now..yeah.. coz I live a sincere life in the past.. I don’t lead a double face life.. I do what I like to do.. i hate when I need to.. then I’ll get over it fast.. coz I don’t keep things in heart.. now I’m more like a miniature trying to gather everything and keep them in my small narrow heart.. I think I’m no longer that cheerful and the fighter anymore.. I don’t fight for when I need too.. I grumbled.. damn..!!!
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Not all people able to lead a successful life and still keep good grab and control in their life.. I might not be one of that.. that probably be the reason he wants me to go through the hardlife, hardway… so that I will not forget and appreciate my root.. I’m not an intelligent person.. I’m just a normal girl that work slightly harder.. I need to not to rely on the luck that have been following me all these while.. I need to yeah.. work harder.. that’s is what I am going to do…. .
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. I want to believe that.. You’ll deserve what is yours!!
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. p/s: writing does able to reduce and answered the doubt that circling you.. I was upset before.. and I found my track back while my words flow.. I hope all of you did.. let’s work harder.. for the future, our love one and for ourselves.. may he be with us..

Closer.. Preparation?

Perut ako tgh keriukk keriukk lapar nih... memandangkan i had my heavy i mean super heavy lunch at my ma's friend house.. fuhhh ako dapat la laksa 2 mangkuk although the taste still not really there.. tp ok lah.. nak lepas tringin.. then 1 slice of moist (melelehnya tahap) choc cake.. gilos.. then 1 scope of mee (nak try ja.. no big fan of mee).. and some kuih muih.. menyebabkan kesedatan dia terasa smpai kul 10 mlm td.. then now. the euphoric effect of being full gone replaced by the craveness towards spicy food.. ishshh by the way.. my ma's is going to cook Hokien Mee tomorrow.. Hehehe again the modified version lah.. prediction will be : agak sedap..hehehe..
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Before tu.. smalam marked the beginning of new islamic calender.. Wahh dulu.. ako tak tou pn apa benda awal muharam nih until the song : awal muharam detik permulaan, penghijrahan nabi dan umat islam.. dari kota mekah ke kota madinah... oh.. new year rupanya.. heheh cetek nya pengetahuan ako nih.. Ive asked someone before.. bukankah ajal maut tuh di tangan tuhan (dgn confient nya ako time tu cam ako tak takot mati...).. then i was waked by the statement "amal tak cukup lagi di dunia.."...wah.. pastu ako went blank.. ouww.. ya.. sekian..

I'm trying to Be Normal

This morning i had that break down again!! That sudden urge of depression and need to do something to pleased myself and free myself from being miserable.. i thought after i had Rebung Masak Lemak dekat bakti and I’ll end up with acceleration of mood. Yukkss!! not true.. my anxiety disorder caused me to turn all the way back home and pick up my wallet (ako mmg suka lupa bw wallet g lab..n im driving??..Thank God.. I’m alive and still manage to prevent myself from continue cursing the police force for any tickets or attempting to bribe me!!!)..

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So.. En Roy ngan Aziah (Without Jojo - tgh on xperimen n Lina - membuat cendol-cendol free dari salur pernafasannya..) pn join la my hunt for Church Street.. Turn punya turn punya turn.. last last.. ako mendial arkib negara : "Weh ako kt Bishop Street nih.. Mana aah Church street?"..sebelah n selari rupanya.. pusing la plak.. alamak.. no entry.. pusing lagik!! ishhh no 28 is the other side la.. corner lagik.. ahhh "aziah kanan, En Roy kiri!!".. malangnya.. no even sign of underwater creature existed along the street..

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Last last.. in order to please myself n calm myself down, i went to Hobi - Sport n got myself my very very first 2 equiptments for the whole expensive set.. hehehe i bought pair of glove for RM 40.50 (ori price : RM 139.90)and Booties RM 40 (Ori price : 129.90).. (En Tayar 2, saya tidak akan menyesal kerana membeli nya!! no mirror confession akan dilakukan kali ini)..

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hehehehe yeah yeah.. pastu p lak cari tin cat anti bacteria.. Nippon rupa-rupanya the only brand with this features.. The cat will be used for the cell culture room.. Suma need to be sterelize.. maka dinding pn kena!! heheheh so.. dengan gumbiranya ako balik... wahhh mood ako sgt baik hari ini.. ditambah lak ngan hehehe pa ako yg baik ati menanyakan adakah ako perlu meminjam duit dia tuk bli all the equipt.. wawawa...mesti la!!..heheheh opppss ako soon akan jd penghutang!! omg.. demi full gear~~~~~ sanggup ja..

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aishhh adik hitamku akan balik dan menghantam kata-kata kesatnya memerli wat im doing n trying to do.. haiiihh~~~
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Kenormalan Hujung Minggu

Sunday marks another end to the weekend that were filled with kenduri (omg.. thinking of the nasi minyak and to highlight the "minyak!!"..) minus the cancellation of aerobic session.. replaced by Starwalk.. yeah slightly similar to Penang Bridge run.. eh.. tak tak.. that crazy run keeps you running in the dark and in the wee hour!! .. i was thinking of participating with my pa next year..sure he's going to tinggal me metersss away.. did i ever mentioned that he walk like my mother run..hahahaha.. maybe faster..

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My obsession syndrom attacking again.. this time is to survey and lay my wawawa ringgit to the diving shop.. Yesterday i made my pa ride me to the town and pusing all over the possible place in search of diving shop.. I jotted down the address of all the possible shop.. and with the estimated location.. we started our hunting. It was 3pm yo!!.. of coz on motor ex5 antik tu.. what do u expect, driving down to town during weekend.. we might not make it for dinner... so round n round.. from Hutton lane, to island plaza, along bagan jermal, up to tanjung tokong, then half way batu feringgi.. his getting impatient so we ended our search with gurney plaza then..heheheh last was paya terubong's permata complex...

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And the result? sial!! satu pn tak dapat.. we cant even locate the shop!! the one in Gurney is freakingly expensive!!! 500 for pair of fin.. ako cirit kat salesgirl tu baru tau.. Heheheh.. My kepala batu tells me not to stop searching until im satisfied.. so i have this escape plan tomorrow during lunch hour if possible.. Found another address in the yellow pages..ya ya i learnt from the mistake la.. ill give them a call then get the nearby landmark and building..

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p/s: when it comes to location, i'm dumber then a bimbo!! i dont even know that the road along the Nasi Kandar Line Clear is called Penang Road until early this year..hekhekhek..Faez.. if ako can keep hg in my pocket during my trip n hunting, i will!! heheheheh

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another p/s: sial internet kat rumah ako seems to block any photo uploading..!!

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last p/s: those with controlled temper (ako nya makin kurang kwalan..heheh) please feel free to join me in places n shop hunting next time..register yourself!!!

Small Blink Blink

Let us.. close our eye.. breath.. then think.. if any thing happen to you.. who will be the most badly effected? ...

A few days ago i was doing this crazy thinking on "what will happen after i left?".. then i started my own fairytale of moarning.. i was doing so time before ako tido.. so my eye widely blink in the dark here and there..one by one images silih berganti.. then i remembered clearly.. i can see my mama's pale, expressionless glare..ya.. i cannot let anything happen to me.. coz she couldnt live without me around.. that's wat she claimed all the times.. again and again.. hekhek.. tak mo bagi ako p jauh nya ayat faveret.. haihhh.. ako pn tak tou kenapa perlu ako post pasal ni...heheh sbb ako tgk ramai ja post kosong..heheh maka horeyy to post kosong..

quiz for all: who do u think will be badly effected if u left this world?

p/s: ako dah dapar breaking down dah..tp penyakit malas mula menjalar.. yoosshh!!

Ako dan Sekarang

Lama nya jari penuh parut ako tak menari di atas buttons nih.. wahh.. benda yang abis gempar yang ako buat will be baru balik dari singapore and i was on the stupid bodo nya bus dari KL ke Penang for 8 hours.. Bodo gila dia berenti merata.. and i was so weakly sick that time.. haihhh sila amik iktibar ini dan jgn sesekali naik bus yang disyorkan oleh ulat-ulat kat pudu tuh.. i should have just head to Transnational counter or Konsortium.. tp ako sgt la tak larat that time dgn barang2 yang bnyk.. now im getting better and resume to work..

USM is having pesta hoki skali lagi.. tetiba sayu ja ako tringat bdk2 hoki SMK Sungai Ara dulu.. We practices so hard and alhamdulillah bagi team yang baru ditubuhkan, we manage to be 2nd in Penang state.. Sepatutnya we won, but ako terlepas tahan the last ball.. ceh.. bukan rezeki sungguh..Skrang hampir suma budak hoki dah kawin and even beranak.. so its impossible for a reunion game dah.. haisshh kitaran hidup kita ni kejap ja.. today u are this and tomorow dah jadi lain.. Despite of who you turn out to be.. May the Force always be with you and may all of u find ur success.. Amin..