the sound of silence

i am almost sure that most of us view meditation as perlu ker?? if so.. then why people pay big money for yoga class which highly claimed to be effective as a medium to improve health?? why us the not-willing-to-pay for an hour of this breathing control and body relaxing class has lost by not practicing the mentioned discipline?

i was approached by my father once on meditating each time before i sleep nearby exam period to avoid me spelling out all the chemical formula during my sleep.. but that was years ago..

on one of the book that i purchased lately "100 ways to motivate yourself" by Steve Chandler (bare in mind.. u dont need to have the latest book on the shelf to suit your reading appetite especially if in the critical financial situation like mine.. TT_TT)..

on one of the sub topic: "Don't just do something.. sit there"..

1. "the best way to truly understand the world is to remove yourself from it".
2. "Be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet"
3. " you'll hear the side of you that you rarely hear. It's the side that makes the universe understandable."

i tried with my eye closed, trying to get myself some sleep before the sahur time after for nearly 2 hours lying awake on the bed.. what i did is the modified version of my own meditation since i often have millions of thing come across me from lab work to kitchen (that is a long stretch of journey hokey!!!)

1. I repeatedly took deep and long breath in and out.
2. since i still saw images and hear sound, so repeatedly i told myself: Don't think about anything... empty your mind...

slowly.... i was drifted away.. and i had a great 3 hours sleep better than 7 hours of dreamy black out...

plans

Since im admitting heavily that im useless and functionless during the fasting period.. i'm taking a drastic measurement... Labwork will be conducted mainly at night (huhh.. cari alsan nk skip terawih.. ^^). Which also means i'll be absent from the lab during day time and catch everything up after break fast.. unless something came up that need my heavy attention... haihh~~~~

My reading quest lead to...

Of all the books i bought, i’ve started off with The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. With 8 siblings named according to alphabetical order, the story of the Bridgestones is very entertaining. And to my horror, i found out that the author has laid 8 different stories for each of the member. Aha.. So the predictable me eventually hunted for all the 8 stories.. Nonetheless, being wise at my stage of financial status, i couldn’t help but opted for ebook. So i downloaded the rest of the stories from 4shred.com.. can u believe that? 4shared not only hosted music!! Even most of the latest novel can be downloaded from there.. Given that you are up to reading them from the screen instead of flipping through the milky pages..

Okay.. i’m being a bit sentimental nowadays when i started to go for classical romance than thriller (i stop reading thriller for quite some period…).. and why was i being this position. simple. I enjoy reading people’s happy ending because i don’t know what’s laid ahead of me.. and why i choose classical? instead of current account? Because women of those time has yet too be too blunt and upfront.. It is somehow romantic to be under the charge of CAPABLE man. ahakz..

Yet,i am the true example that contradict of what I’ve just said.. pathetic huh… You couldn’t help to like what you are but there are time where u wish u are less complicated and just be what majority women are supposed to behave and feel. Fall in love, tie a knot, bear some cute little thing in your womb then tadaaaaa live the life that you are supposed to live.. sound easy huh??

the execution might not agree with the theory.. Especially when u have a piece of restless soul that hunger for more than to be in a commitment. You envy the laughter of a happy family yet you foresee yourself in other part of the world doing the thing that u might regret of not doing.. It might not be bad thing dedicating your life to your family.. my mother once said she has no regret on getting married at a young age now seeing all her kids have grown up and she’ll trade nothing in the world for such privilege… (That is when we don’t drive her nuts by pulling worst that monkey prank)..

I don’t know where will the destiny lead… let just leave them to God and collect all the guidance and clues down the journey.. I believe that one will figure out when, where and what along the way… till then.. don’t stop hoping and praying..

Happy Ramadhan everyone.. may this holy month be filled with joy and keinsafan.. (ahakzz… i did skip all the kissing and bla bla bla part during the reading okay!!!!)

Membaca!! baca lah~~

So.. i've just bought 6 books with great price... ahaaa dah gebang abis dah dekat FB on my newly acquired and discovered skill of bargaining.. 0_0... actually ive been the loyal customers for years.. dia tak bg murah saja la kan...!!!

the scene at the second hand book store:

Uncle : Take any book u want.. uncle give u cheap price..

Me : I am looking for classical novel

Uncle : How about this?

(he was holding the whole stack of.. omg-if-my-mother-found-out-that-i-read-them-i'll-be-dead.. its the whole collection of i think is Anna James or im not too sure about the author...one of the book titled "Wicked" and the books are with 18+ rated cover... i think i somehow blushed that very moment...)

Me : ahh that is too heavy to me.. 0_O

So i got back with 2 books from Judith Mcnaught, 1 from Julia Quinn and 1 from Johanna Lindsay, 1 from L. M. Montgomery and 1 motivational book (kononnya kan rasa bersalah kan..)

so here goes my social life.. day time in the lab.. night time in the room or in the lab with them...

...end...

i told myself

repeatedly tell myself: i want to be intelligent... i want to be wise...

the only solution i can think off is: reading...

the only thing i like to read is: novel...

the genre that i like to read: classical and thriller..

i'll just have to accept that i am born to be : moderate..