Life pass by

If i am given the power to choose

That day lepak ngan Che P.. Catching up this and that..

Then she threw me a mouth tight quesion: "Na.. Cer hg bgtau kt ako.. Apa yg hang cari dekat lelaki nih smpai ke la tak dak lagi.."

Was fully blown by the question and the question was banging in my head even after we departed..

Right until i stepped in the door overlooking the tiny living room with my family on free style way of making themself comfortable.. Our family are like the normal ordi family minus the affection.. Hug pn jarang gila.. Ini kan pula kiss??? Oh please!!! Even bday celebration pn considered as an awkward thing to celebrate..

That instant ive realize the 'him' needs:

1. Talk crapt with my mother.

(my ma was a total opposite to my pa..she's 10 years younger than him.. she's someone easy going and easy to talk to.. well at times she'll can be a machine gun shooting sharp words that will cross over your chest and embedded there.. she's also the person that said: "Hg tak elok pn..." repeatedly i was reminded that i am nothing but fair and tall.. and thin.. i dont have her good look, her great skin.. i am.. me.. but i think she soon came to realize that i am lucky i dont have those beautiful features.. coz that's the reason i am all protected from involving in relationship that will ended destroying me.. but..mama is a someone that can make me feel guilty and leave what i am doing to join her for a window shopping or short stroll in the park.. a person that knows what i like and im a big fan of her cooking..when i dont have super best and super close friend due to my split personality, i have my mama.. who understands me inside out and teaches me life lesson.. someone that wants me to dress up and lastly gave up because im just the plain lazy girl that loves jeans n Tee so much.. she's always bribe me in silent when pa was so strict with our expenditure.. always crack jokes that cheer us up.. a real true example of a great women.. and look at myself.. i'm not even half her skill.. sad kan...)

2. hang out in mamak with my bro and talks rubbish!!

(when i resembled my pa in terms of look and attitude.. my bro is like the mirror of my mama.. they have the ueeekkk perasan good look.. and both have easy going personality when i was a bit reserve and choose my crowd.. they mingle around well.. while im awkward in many events.. we were best friends since small without us even realize it.. though what i did was bullying him because he was damnnnn lembab!! but im always oblige into taking care of him.. he is like my destined responsibility.. i seldom helps him on his chores because what the heck should i do it when he has every single ability to do them.. we clash in personality and opinion often.. we fight, we shout, we hates each other to the bone.. but we.. were bound by blood.. the Shah siblings... those anger, hatred washed away by times.. we were just a growing up in the adult world.. trying to fit the niche.. trying to survive.. and alhamdulillah he's doing fine.. and now we are sharing nearly everything.. his shirt..heheheh..grand kan.. ako cilok ja sgala baju dia.. heheheh.. he's the one that arrange my song playlist.. the pirate that provides me with movies and dramas that i hardly touch.. the one that knows demmm super well how i think and like i said he resembles my mama.. they can read me from one click.. mencikk!!!!.. a person that said: Na.. hg tak yah bercinta.. kawin ja trus senang.. @_@??)

3. to have intelligent conversation with my pa.. Politics, science, common sense.. He'll be asking all the wat the heck opinion on wat the heck's topic.. He likes people with brain.. with knowledge.. not some empty tin that big talk with small action..

(My pa is like a 'skema' figure that often serious and can be sarcastic at times.. but hey..!!! he's the man i look up to.. he's the reason i'm who i am.. he's also the one that said: Go out.. go out and see the world.. don't get lock here.. He's that man that came in the rain with a raincoat and fetch me back with his old bike.. the man that gave me limited pocket money because he wants me to appreciate every single cents.. the man that bought me present whenever i excel in my study even though its only a set of of cheap barbie.. a man that taught me to play badminton and said that i have week hand but still sent me for badminton class because i wanted to.. a man that spent nearly RM300 per month for my tuition fees because his daughter was extremely determined to be in par with other girls.. and we were anything but rich at that time.. And i'm the closest to him among us the siao siblings.. i resembled him in many ways oso!!! gegegege.. we can mock each other face to face and will be okay after few minutes.. although he's not highly educated.. but he is a man with great leadership..starting from a small character and climbs up the career stairs.. but still rides his old bike.. sitting behind him on the bike is always sentimental to me... if i have the power to choose.. the Him is someone who is as great or greater than my pa..)

scary kan.. thought so..

Dear Allah.. though our match is arrange by You.. please Allah.. deliver me someone that fits my family and me... someone that will lead all of us to Jannah and still survive and excel in this world as well.. I've been waiting this long.. and wouldn't mind to wait longer.. I have faith in You.. will always do and forever do.. Thank you Allah..

After

Went through names and messages in the hp inbox

Some names are new

Some are seasonal

The new was intense before went off without news

The old comes and goes..

That's how the circle works..

Nothing permananet..

Most are momentary..

Hey some name.. !!

Can't believe the flame was so fierce

Before u left without a word...

If i were the girl..

Ill be reading through them again and again..

Reviving the memories..

Alas.. Me no longer a girl..

A women im turning myself to be..

So i hit the delete key..

There goes the hopes and flirts..

May u find ur place to rest..

Coz im heading to a new route..

Voyage name!!!!

Siapa?

I am everybody's best friend..

Yet..

Who is my good friend?

Huh huh huh

There are always some moments in our life where,

spiritual believe is the reason that keep us sane..

omang omong

The rain droplets produce no sound,

unless when they hit different surfaces and at different intensity.

Same goes to human...

We are nothing unless we decide to do something and really work on doing that something...

*ako cuba kurangkan omong-omong kosongku..

No Like

Tahukah anda:

Adalah sangat hmmm kurang menarik to keep on starting a conversation with " Buat apa tu?" / "Ada kt mana?"

Sekarang.. tgh.. Hujan...

Ako.. tak berchenta.. maka ako tak biasa feel romantic "LIVE".. ako rasa tak pa la.. ako rasa semua tu after the official la.. insya Allah..

Tapi.. ako ska baca romantic novel.. ska tgk romantic drama.. yg tak keterlaluan.. yg natural.. dan tak dibuat2.. yg FEELnya disampaikan tanpa perlu kata2 muntah hijau yg wahhh ako malu nk dengar.. benar.. Ako agak pemalu org nya bila tajuk perbualan adalah "hati dan perasaan"..

terbaru... Ako terhook dengan Protect The Boss.. Lucu.. dan ako ska..

Me and teaching

One of the best compliment i've ever received as a part time tutor is: "One of the reason i like you teacher is that you understand your student well xD "

p/s: Sbb Cikgu bukan gurl-gurl and gedix gedix.. so i despise those in that category.. if so unfortunate that u'r in my class.. have a taste of early "Neraka".. ^0^

Jom!!

Bumi Allah tu luas. Ilmunya juga luas. Belajarlah dengan bermusafir. Ramai yang terlupa, alam itu sendiri guru yang hebat dalam mengajarkan ilmu Nya.

Okay.. jangan Marah!! jgn..!!! No No No.. Urgghhh Urghhh

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِىَ الله عَنْهُ : أَنَّ رَجُلاً قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّم : أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ: لاَ تَغْضَبْ. فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا قَالَ: لاَ تَغْضَبْ. رواه البخاري

Daripada Abu Hurairah r.a. :Bahawa seorang lelaki berkata kepada Nabi SAW: Berikan daku wasiat. Baginda bersabda: Janganlah engkau marah. Lelaki itu mengulangi soalan itu beberapa kali. Baginda tetap bersabda: Janganlah engkau marah. -Hadis riwayat al-lmam al-Bukhari.

cilok from: here

Contengan Petang

Ako tak pandai nk susun ayat mega-best.. but the quote below sangatlah reflect what i felt during and after the long trip.

“Dengan berjalan dan bermusafir tu memang banyak sangat benda kita boleh belajar. Belajar dari kawasan dan persekitaran, belajar daripada orang yang dijumpai sepanjang permusafiran, belajar daripada ujian sepanjang perjalanan, belajar daripada orang yang menemani.

Sekarang baru faham. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan nota-nota muzik atau warna-warna. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar harta dan kerjaya. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar cita-cita. Bahagia bukan hanya diertikan dengan senyuman ketawa riang gembira.”

*Living here for the hereafter*

-Hlovate. Contengan Jalanan-

Lost and Found

“Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cubaan kepadamu , dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar” (Surah al-Baqarah : 155)

Cer disebalik surah ni adalah… jeng jeng.. hari tu as usual ako buat inspection dekat Qbay sbb tak tahan kan sejuk dalam lab (aha!!!).. dah dekat sejam ako pusing2… then tetiba teringat nk teraba mencari ticket parking.. maka proses molesting every single pocket on me and in the bag was conducted in the middle of the shopping complex.. guess what.. ta daaa.. tak dak.. dalam minda dah nmpk dah RM 30 melayang.. waduhh… cam ralat.. if tak hilang.. duit tu top up skit bley bli bag baru (saw one in Material.. lalalala)..

terkeluar topic sat.. Recently mind ako cam kerap struck ngan hadis2 simple and kata2 hikmah.. The anger replacement of loosing RM30 was: “Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang dengan ujian yang melebihi kemampuan umatnya.”

Thinking that there might be worst test then that.. ako pn beristifar and.. heheheh continue cuci mata!!! ahahaha.. lingering around the book stores deciding what to spent on the recent RM 200 voucher.. on the way back, ako pn drop by la check toilet just in case i dropped there while doing my ‘business’. Tettt negatif.. pasrah

climaxnya.. ako nmpk sorang officer dia (not that he was good looking or what..) tgh lepak ngan cleaner.. and camna ntah.. instead of paying attention to what he wore.. mata ako terpacak nmpk something on his hand… a parking ticket!!!! ako pn dengan tanpa segan silu..

Me: Excuse me.. is that a parking ticket? 
Him: haa jumpa dekat lantai.. u punya?

Me: boleh tgk? (tarikh, time..sebiji!!) .. ya la ini saya punya.. boleh saya ambil?

Him: ha..

Me: gaya exaggerate abih terima kasih ako flashing the card everywhere.. demm i was soooo grateful at that time…!!

Yg teruknya.. right after that ako nearly like: “ishhh RM 30 nih leh p bli beg nih”.. gegeg tapi tersadung dekat escalator and tersedar.. hekhekhek…

We are tested in every single way with or without us realizing them and in light or hard manner. It is our reaction towards the test that matters. and both ayat above really work on me that time.. and i am again grateful.. Alhamdulillah..

Wordless

It must has taken so much effort to constantly look up upon yourself (praise yourself).. nevertheless some people just do it effortlessly..

Away and away again

sabar-sabar.. post ni tiada kena mengena dengan travel tips ka hapa.. not in the mood yet to upload any pic/photo.. (partly due to the internet constrain kan.. laptop tak bawa.. and i am indeed very dreadful without him and dont have much distractions were brought along either.. should have stuff more books in my bag..).. lucky had that small ipod with few e-book saved in it.. so literally i finished 3 e-books during that few days away.. chick-flick again i'm afraid..^0^..

Learn a lot during the trip (still learning and discovering new things from time to time).. to open one heart to appreciate the nature and everything around us.. away from family and comfy zone did the magic on strengthening the inner will power and surviving ability..

p/s: gua dah start miss home.. hopeless me.. cam ni kononnya nk stay oversea? my foot!!!

Ako dan Malam

Hari ni ako tak leh tido.. dah dekat jam 2.30 am dah.. barangkali late night dkt lab dah turn biological clock ako upside down.. so ako pn sambung la pembacaan buku Hlovate: Contengan Jalanan yang baru ako sentuh 2 hari lepas.. Perjalanan menccari Tuhan tagline nya.. cm biasa... bait-bait kata dia sentiasa berkesan dekat jiwa ako..

Half way.. ako pn berwuduk.. dan kerja kan solat sunat.. Ceteknya kan ilmu ako kan.. nk buat solat sunat apa pn ako tak tau... istiqarah pn tak tau.. last2 ako niat solat sunat ja... Macam dalam penulisan dalam naskah-naskah buku.. solat pada larut malam tenang rasanya.. pabila sujud.. rasa keinsafan yang tak terhingga.. ako cuba cari feel tu... tak dapat.. tak kusyuk maybe..

ntah macam mana.. ako capai la tafsir berhabuk yg lama dah ako tak buka.. dengan segala qudrat ako habiskan surah yassin.. punya kalut pay attention pada tajwid sampai ako lupa nk hayati terjemahannya... skali lagi.. tiada feel yg digambarkan dalam bahan bacaanku.. maybe dah tepu dah tompok hitam dkt hati ako nih.. nk cucikannya semula bukan perkara yang mudah..

"klau org kata nk buang tatu di kulit tu sakit, nk buang tatu dosa di hati lagi perit" Hlovate

Bila ako berhenti dan berfikir

kadang-kadang ako tertanya-tanya.. apa yang ako cari dalam hidup nih.. alhamdulillah serba serbi ako ada.. tapi kenapa ako tetap rasa hollow? perasan ni dia hinggap sekali skala.. kadang-kadang time di lautan manusia yang ramai.. feel ni strike.. kadang2 bila ako sorang-sorang.. ako mula buat deep thinking..

time ako paling tenang skali time ako matrik.. time tu la ako mula berjinak dengan solat jemaah dan bacaan yassin. Time tu rasa jiwa ako tenang ja.. walaupun mulut suit ako still tak dak insurans.. kekadang ako tertanya gak ngan diri ako sendiri.. dah tau apa yang kosong tu, kenapa ako still remain ala hippies camni? dlu time ako matrik.. ako rasa cam hidayah dan sinar keinsafan yang ako terima nih insya’Allah akan berkekalan sampai bebila.. ako salah.. sbb.. inner ako masih belum kejab ilmu rohani ako.. ako bukan jahil.. cuma ako masih dalam fasa penafian.. ako tau and ako percaya dengan rukun agama.. ako tau ako paling filled bila ako dekat nganNya dengan full focus.. sialkan.. setiap kenyataan ako ada ‘tapi’.. sbb tu ako kata ako masih dalam denial..

ako tak sure brapa lama ako going to be like this.. ajal maut tak kenal umur, jantina… ako tak tau bila time ako.. tapi ako.. ako tak mo that hollow feeling.. ako cuba.. insya’Allah… mungkin ako tak sempat filled it before ako chow.. tapi.. ako akan cuba… slow slow.. sebab ako juga percaya.. Allah sangat sayang kat ako.. sbb tu ako ada kehidupan ako sekarang.. Ako sayang Dia juga.. Ya Allah… kau ampunkanlah dosa hamba mu ini.. teruslah naungi ako di bawah hidayah mu.. wlaupun berkali-kali ako membelakangi Mu.. ako may not be pengikutmMu yang baik seperti rakan taulan ku.. tapi.. ako tetap bersyukur.. sbb ako sedar.. kasihMu.. tetap bersamaku.. ya Tuhan.. terima kasih.. Alhamdulillah…

late hang out

Checking out from the lab.. 2.50am... rushing away before the clock reached 3.. gegegeg masih tahyul.. ^^

Ako. Langit. Laut. Bumi (Part 1)

Along the way to kl I was accompanied by the full moon lighting up the whole journey keeping me AWAKE!! Even zikr could drive me to sleep.. I was blinking the whole way paying attention to the diver who drive slower than my EX5.. Cermat maybe.. my route to LCCT was:

Penang (Plusliner-RM 35.20) [8.00pm] --> Old KTM station (supir diraja fetched.. ^^) [1.00 am]--> KL central (Star Shuttle – RM 9) [3.15 am] -->LCCT [4.30am]

While the bus was stopping at Simpang Pulai's rest house, I was scanning the whole area from the upper level of Plusliner bus, the movement of living and non living objects are somehow in rhythmic order.. Cars, lorries, bikes, human from different gender and races and even counties were moving in such a way that they don't collide with each other but been full filling own and each other's needs.

Fiza came and fetched me and actually saved me from being tormented when I was at the mamak stall nearby the bus station. Despite of being scared as i was feeded by pairs of eye from every corner of the restaurant… cant blame them.. what was this girl doing at 2 am in the morning with huge backpack and only asking for a cup of milo and refuse to eat anything (helloooo!! pass eating time ler~~)

Hanging out at McD Kl Central at wee hour has long been forgotten.. Remembered during my younger days, hanging out with the geng around Bukit Bintang area and the McD was the pit stop before we catch the first train back to uni. mengimbau lagik~~ As usual, nothing from mcD that stir my appetite.. (again.. it was passed eating time!!) So we chatted and keeping up with each other's life... It's me actually been keeping with their life.. There's nothing much to keep with me pn...~_~

Bus ticket to LCCT can be purchased at the lower floor of kl central but we have to board the bus at the first floor.. The first bus to depart after the last bus (12 am) is at 2.45 am.. Cm poyo jer.. The place was under construction kot... And to my surprise.. It's Thursday morning and the bus is nearly full house!! What a crowd to board the so-called cheap flight. 3.15am sharp and the bus moved towards the airport.

There are few bus services from KL central to LCCT: SkyBus (Red Colored), Star Shuttle (Yellow).. Try to avoid star shuttle.. the whole bus was shuttling the whole journey!!! Hadoii~~~

Sky Bus & Star Shuttle (similar schedule)

Besides KL central --> LCCT, Star Shuttle provides:

1) Ipoh --> LCCT

2) Batu 3 --> LCCT

3) Puduraya --> LCCT (recommended. So u don’t need to wake your whole phone list to send you to KL central)

4) Setiawan --> LCCT

Or to save up some time, try KLIA Express (28 minute only) but with limited operational hour (5.30 am – 12.30am) and… u need to carry your bag into the transit bus that will drive u to the komuter station.. then again.. carry the heavy bag board the train.. and again.. out of the train.. save some energy and hassle basle thingy folks!!! unless there’s some time restrain and light luggage, other than that.. (thought there's a potter to help you with the bag.. but.. ishhh) Those buses will be sufficient.. U don’t want to start your journey grumbling kan..~~

High and Low in Borneo

Yeayyyy... Big Bang representing the Asia Pacific region won the Best Worldwide Act on MTV EMA beating other well known artists including Britney Spears!!!!! Jerit... which also means... another millions of screaming fans will be sharing TOP with me.. Haiihhh~~~~ 싫어!!! 그 남자 내꺼!!! (^0^)V

빅뱅!!!!! 축하해!!

Too early to decide whether this a trash holiday or its an event that i am going to annually attend it.. So.. bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. any info about the event, view here Laili Basir . Just in case suddenly i am MIA, call him!!!!! ^^