old n lame

Lama la plak ako tak berblog… not that i am extreme busy or what… harus aahhh ako stalk abis blog2 fav ako kan.. tak lengkap kitaran dan putaran hidup kiranya tiada sajian2 ayat-ayat gelak tuk ako start hari ako kan… cam effortless ja sesetengah org membuat lawak kt blog depa… “u need talent to be funny” hokey!! and ako love funny notes or quotes… this lazy cow cannot read heavy material… she’ll drain all her mental juice away and fell asleep immediately though she’s served herself with thick aroma coffee..

p/s: a little angry with herself lately for unable to control her anger… should she enjoys another holiday???

sorrow runs deep

People often said: do not get discourage by failure… I would say: Do not be carried away by discouragement. Hell a lie if u said when u failed on a task, u will head up and pay no attention to the sorrow.

It’s like being slapped heavily to the wall once u couldn’t complete your mission well though u have the strategy laid perfectly well in your mind. All things went on so well but the result turns out to be weird and unexpectedly bad. To top up the cream, you have constant critics pointing this and that for improvement. (0-0)??

p/s: The main subject of my story is: i cooked and i failed. i am angry and frustrated but i think i’ll still cook.

the sound of silence

i am almost sure that most of us view meditation as perlu ker?? if so.. then why people pay big money for yoga class which highly claimed to be effective as a medium to improve health?? why us the not-willing-to-pay for an hour of this breathing control and body relaxing class has lost by not practicing the mentioned discipline?

i was approached by my father once on meditating each time before i sleep nearby exam period to avoid me spelling out all the chemical formula during my sleep.. but that was years ago..

on one of the book that i purchased lately "100 ways to motivate yourself" by Steve Chandler (bare in mind.. u dont need to have the latest book on the shelf to suit your reading appetite especially if in the critical financial situation like mine.. TT_TT)..

on one of the sub topic: "Don't just do something.. sit there"..

1. "the best way to truly understand the world is to remove yourself from it".
2. "Be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet"
3. " you'll hear the side of you that you rarely hear. It's the side that makes the universe understandable."

i tried with my eye closed, trying to get myself some sleep before the sahur time after for nearly 2 hours lying awake on the bed.. what i did is the modified version of my own meditation since i often have millions of thing come across me from lab work to kitchen (that is a long stretch of journey hokey!!!)

1. I repeatedly took deep and long breath in and out.
2. since i still saw images and hear sound, so repeatedly i told myself: Don't think about anything... empty your mind...

slowly.... i was drifted away.. and i had a great 3 hours sleep better than 7 hours of dreamy black out...

plans

Since im admitting heavily that im useless and functionless during the fasting period.. i'm taking a drastic measurement... Labwork will be conducted mainly at night (huhh.. cari alsan nk skip terawih.. ^^). Which also means i'll be absent from the lab during day time and catch everything up after break fast.. unless something came up that need my heavy attention... haihh~~~~

My reading quest lead to...

Of all the books i bought, i’ve started off with The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. With 8 siblings named according to alphabetical order, the story of the Bridgestones is very entertaining. And to my horror, i found out that the author has laid 8 different stories for each of the member. Aha.. So the predictable me eventually hunted for all the 8 stories.. Nonetheless, being wise at my stage of financial status, i couldn’t help but opted for ebook. So i downloaded the rest of the stories from 4shred.com.. can u believe that? 4shared not only hosted music!! Even most of the latest novel can be downloaded from there.. Given that you are up to reading them from the screen instead of flipping through the milky pages..

Okay.. i’m being a bit sentimental nowadays when i started to go for classical romance than thriller (i stop reading thriller for quite some period…).. and why was i being this position. simple. I enjoy reading people’s happy ending because i don’t know what’s laid ahead of me.. and why i choose classical? instead of current account? Because women of those time has yet too be too blunt and upfront.. It is somehow romantic to be under the charge of CAPABLE man. ahakz..

Yet,i am the true example that contradict of what I’ve just said.. pathetic huh… You couldn’t help to like what you are but there are time where u wish u are less complicated and just be what majority women are supposed to behave and feel. Fall in love, tie a knot, bear some cute little thing in your womb then tadaaaaa live the life that you are supposed to live.. sound easy huh??

the execution might not agree with the theory.. Especially when u have a piece of restless soul that hunger for more than to be in a commitment. You envy the laughter of a happy family yet you foresee yourself in other part of the world doing the thing that u might regret of not doing.. It might not be bad thing dedicating your life to your family.. my mother once said she has no regret on getting married at a young age now seeing all her kids have grown up and she’ll trade nothing in the world for such privilege… (That is when we don’t drive her nuts by pulling worst that monkey prank)..

I don’t know where will the destiny lead… let just leave them to God and collect all the guidance and clues down the journey.. I believe that one will figure out when, where and what along the way… till then.. don’t stop hoping and praying..

Happy Ramadhan everyone.. may this holy month be filled with joy and keinsafan.. (ahakzz… i did skip all the kissing and bla bla bla part during the reading okay!!!!)

Membaca!! baca lah~~

So.. i've just bought 6 books with great price... ahaaa dah gebang abis dah dekat FB on my newly acquired and discovered skill of bargaining.. 0_0... actually ive been the loyal customers for years.. dia tak bg murah saja la kan...!!!

the scene at the second hand book store:

Uncle : Take any book u want.. uncle give u cheap price..

Me : I am looking for classical novel

Uncle : How about this?

(he was holding the whole stack of.. omg-if-my-mother-found-out-that-i-read-them-i'll-be-dead.. its the whole collection of i think is Anna James or im not too sure about the author...one of the book titled "Wicked" and the books are with 18+ rated cover... i think i somehow blushed that very moment...)

Me : ahh that is too heavy to me.. 0_O

So i got back with 2 books from Judith Mcnaught, 1 from Julia Quinn and 1 from Johanna Lindsay, 1 from L. M. Montgomery and 1 motivational book (kononnya kan rasa bersalah kan..)

so here goes my social life.. day time in the lab.. night time in the room or in the lab with them...

...end...

i told myself

repeatedly tell myself: i want to be intelligent... i want to be wise...

the only solution i can think off is: reading...

the only thing i like to read is: novel...

the genre that i like to read: classical and thriller..

i'll just have to accept that i am born to be : moderate..

People said novel lovers are dreamer

So.. i was away from blogging for like months??? was uptading FB status non-stop that exhaust my idea of writting.. what makes me write today? a story that was told to me earlier in the morning..

signn~~

being surrounded by individuals having various defination of relationships has actually freak me out with their issues and problems that they faced.. although the end of the day, they said it is a journey worth of going through when they see their counterpart, their heart melt.. everything back to normal.. and the cycle starts again~~ some arguments eventually strengthen the bond between 2. some will slowly reveal the real skin..

I do not favor situation where defination/explanation is required in everything.. Let's elaborate both pro and cons.. If we failed to stand firm on our thought/principe in the begining of a relationship, the partner may take our 'dislike' lightly and there's where the fire will start to trigger.. meanwhile, if we need everything to be explained and arranged as what we wish, then a doll (Barbie / Kent) may be a suitable partner kan? Haa... so how? ntah...

maybe all come back to the word "maturity" and "logic".. If u know u r partner in such a inconvenient situation, think logic.. should u act the way u r planning to act.. will that make u fake? i would personally said NO.. that will potray u as a mature person... as an individual with a logic mind.. of coz u can doubt on my way of thinking since im not in the same puddle mud or should i say quicksand?? ..^^.. seeing some of the couples behave unreasonable has disturbed me... is it so hard to tolarate (both ways please!! not only one party) in relationship? kan it is claimed that couple are so much in love with each other.. serabut sajok!!

Novel lovers are dreamers with many theories that hardly applied in the reality... well.. I am a dreamer and a novel lover.. and i seek for "They live happily ever after" ending.. so.. what's the rush? ~_~

Bicara Serius

I just finished "Rooftop Rent" by Hlovate. A writer that i came to love after first encounter with Tunas (borrowed and later bought from Nadia.. thanks!!!).. No denial on the talent of this i assume young write.. (my age maybe? she's a real mystery that no one seems to know much about her except that she's a medic student studied oversea maybe in Uni Arbadeen and from Perak.. ahakz.. dasar stalker.. lol..).. why is anything from her is in the top selling list?

1. She injected humor in her writing. Ako ska gelak klau lawak okay.. and it was..!!

2. She speaks perfect english.. not her.. her characters...!! gila.. ako pn celup banyak ayat dari dia... termalu sat...

3. She never failed to slip in religious messages in her stories. She starts with Korn, Metallica and all the i assume to be noisy music to Hijjaz, Raihan and the list goes on... and she makes the transition proses looks hard yet possible.. i listen to them once awhile... but was seduced more by Kpop songs... mode: kena insaf nih!!!

4. She shows that u still can rock even though you are properly covered up. ^^ (dangg... i was hit!! who who who!!!~_~)

Although im not in the position to talk about the 4th reasons kan.. but it doesnt hurt to listen to someone from the sideline.. controversy nih!! heheheh... naaa ive been that stage before.. and still do once awhile during special occasions (with folded sleeve?? pannggg... sakit weh!!).. hmmm correct me if im wrong (which is extremely high in probability!!)... I agreed, we should live moderately. But.. i still feels when one are committed on being moderate, one should not loose the personality that one posses or one should enhance their inner personality more (with line drawn ler~~).

There no competition on proving who is sempoi or tak.. Im not asking you to exhibit yourself: "weh!! lai lai... ako dh hijrah and daaaa im still hot as eva!!" dig yourself a small whole.. meh ako tlg timbus...!! What i noticed is that, underneath the cover (dont take the word in sarcastic manner okay.. it means more than a piece of fabric la.. i was trying to make the sentence simple .. okay...hit me if my language is this bad... toinnggg) lies hugh potential in being better in the public but is being shuhhh away by the concept of : i am contributing but im invincible... So u know that you are representing the hugh committees out there to show the non-believers that you are still parallel with the "ohh im being hit again"... and your choice of attire doesnt effect the your personal skills in dealing with daily encounters..

We will always assume that time will be the medium to deliver that we are as efficient as "again? sakit sakit sakit!!".. U might assume that people will knows some how or do they need to know? ...But babes.. if you are able to shine them with your personality why not leaving good early impression to people? Give them the instant creepy confident aura buzzzzz grrrr guuuuu ggiiiiiii...for what? Do it for yourself..

U.. u.. and u!!! out there... Be confident.. Raise your chin when u talk or deliver your msg.. look at the person you are talking.. u can choose to count the pimples scar if you are not keen enough to look ahakzz directly in the eye coz u might dinggg juling2 itik like me... ~_~.. just dont look at people lips... its annoying!!

When you want something... please please... cant u see im making the cute cacat bunny face asking you to: put aside the extreme shyness.. work for it...dont be afraid and dont put others' thoughts in your way too much (u need to listen to advice of coz... jgn jd kera luku... !!!but listen also means digest.. and think.. does it suit you? is this what u want? will you break any law if you stand still with your decision? the wise might not always right you know...we are human after all...maybe the style wasnt that suitable for u..maybe u'll be making the correct move by listening to yourself.. action might not bring happiness.. but there's no happiness without action kan?)

The saying goes: People with goals succeed because they know where they are going..

my saying adapted from that novel: Being noticeable or invincible.. U choose..

coretan coretan

When people are so proud of them being out spoken, i was started to get terrified with me making verbal statements that were sometimes a bit out of control. Hopefully i dont press their buttons too many times.. they are adult after all.. at this age, instead of receiving orders, we would prefer softer approach... big people d wat!!! But hey.. if u want people t treat you like an adult, do present yourself as one... fair?

Music and us

How do you view music? what i mean is: what music is to you?

1. Some might absorb all the energy from the music to full filled their inner needs.

2. Some enjoy the meaningful lyrics behind each song and co relate them with their stories (photo and music both tell thousand of stories... depends on how u interpret them)..

3. Some enjoy the harmony of instruments that make up the whole song..

4. Some inspire/motivate themselves by listening to certain genre of music..

Me? As long as there's a manly vocal behind with not to0 metal/heavy/noisy sounds will do for me.. (^^)V.... never a big fan of female voice.... Music to me is a distraction. A helpful distraction from the surrounding as a soft approach on isolating myself from the crowd. Music to me is a concentration mechanism that allows me to be on one mind and think... Music to me is a stress reduction tool that is in the need when I'm nervous or angry or tired...

Music is a combination of melody and words brings us far beyond our imagination if we close our eye.. blank our mind... and listen... sometimes we've done too much talking that we failed to listen... so peeps.. relax yourself and listen... indulge yourself in the beauty of music... and zzzzz.. tidooo... zzzz

test tube and time

I always stumble across events in my daily life that can reflect on how things works in real the real stage.. for example.. i was drying a few of my samples with nitrogen gas (to eliminate all the liquid before the sample to be injected in instrument for further analysis)..

the first badge are 6 samples that i left for drying and i went some for doing this and that.. came back after 5 hours.. and there were still remaining liquid in the test tube.. another occasion was i sat around the device and been monitoring the thing from time to time and i manage to dry the sample with the same flow rate as previous in less than 2 hours.. suddenly something strike me (as i was again reading novel while waiting...and quotes.. inspiration just flows.. ayyyy the power of reading kononnya!!!)..

Lets fictionalized the test tube as the person.. The time as time... i think u might have the hint on where's im heading to.. !! heheheh okay... isnt it more effective if u are paying your extra attention to someone dear to you (it can be your spouse and especially your children) within short period of time rather than leaving them behind with someone else and you are on other task...

i am actually pointing out more to parenting... sit and teach your children (if you are able to)... listen to them... be with them... talk to them (do more on listening!!!).. they might reach a rebellious era that will stimulate your nerve frequently but hey!!! you've been there before... they'll be okay if you dont press them too much.. be easy on them doesnt mean giving in too much... there's always good to be wise..

p/s: i was in the dark.. not knowing how to continue this piece of junk...but felt that there's necessity to write.. may be the novel reading thingy is drawing out all the motherly instinct in me.. what do u expect.. i only read love story with happy ending which certainly end with them living happily ever after and with kids.. ayy... a random statement: i definitely make a better mother than a wife...

Ridiculous

I dreamt last night.. Absurd dream..

I was so pissed in the dream when someone I think is somehow involved with me said after I put down my phone: “ Siapa tu? laki ka ppuan?” that I decided to end whatever involvement we had.

I will be glad if I were to be asked “Is everything OK?” rather than some random jealousy words. See how I react and im not even involve in anything yet!!!

pecah

On the numerous encounter with love-based novels.. i came across this one word that i found hmm should i say interesting? Crush...

Bull shit aah if u said u never come across such feeling.. Urban dictionary define crush as "it may grow into true loveor your feelings might wear away so don't jump into conclusions and mistake a silly crush for love"...

yayyy... why am i raising this issue again? because i find its ok to have crush to someone even though you or the other parties are occupied. u cant stop yourself from attracting to someone in that nick of time when you realize that zapppp he/she is so interesting (define your own "interesting").. attraction is similar to magnet.. what differentiate them from each other is magnet attracted to just any opposite charge of it's... while human attracted to certain criteria, style, look, background... these subjective things are beyond words to describe...

you'll find yourself being extra alarmed and curious in picking up details about your crush.. some with courage will initiate the first move... some will just be in the corner and watch him/her silently... what is actually great about crush for someone soooo free is having a target to hunt (virtually)... yayyyy in other word.. "stalk".. everything is made possible with the internet... and with people berlumba-lumba posting up their latest photos and status.. lg senang kan... you'll might end up disappointed knowing that his/her is taken or maybe his/her is not as what you pictured in your mind... but those adrenalin rush was fun!!! ahakz.. but..please limit yourself as a civilized stalker... Do NOT down great yourself by interrupting your crush's life..

rewinding the old fav activity of mine: crushing and decrush in less than 1 week or maybe month.. ntah.. timeline is indeed very hard to keep track with... i think that's how i actually survive being single all these while.. (despite having great friends around.. give credit to yourself if u think u fall on this category!!! ^^).... it was fun imagining the days we might spend with each other if it just happen to develop to further stage... but be real.. crush is like an interesting subject to dissect... you wanted to explore as much as you can about your subject.. in silent (i prefer this)... after you learn everything that you want about your subject and without him noticing (sometime i wish i am noticed!! but demmm am to plain to be visible..)... then the feeling just died off... after you found the next crush.. ahahaha or the crush is no longer lingering around your mind.. that's why... "feel" is an extremely unpredictable adjective...

so... those out there with commitments... don't blame yourself if u have crush towards anyone... you just need to learn how to neutralize the crush.... how to control those feeling so that it wont effect your relationship... no one said it is easy to do so... you need time and full consciousness.. let the feeling flow... it's like the wind... that will blow upon you and chill u up and next.. its gone...

p/s: one thing im curious to know... how to know that you crush has crush towards you

Ako nk balik awal hari ni

Once a month when your on red flag period... even tiny little thing will shake your whole day of... and i am sangat emotionally unbalanced... !!

Enjoy Your Life

No matter how far we fall off the right track, there are always moments that seems to call us back.. i dont know how to put it in words.. but you'll feel this sudden urge to grab a religious book, to listen to religious song like nasyid or others depending on which genre you prefer... (instead of the korean song that i dont even know what the heck they are singing about if i dont google them for translation!!! but yet i played that over and over again...^0^...) or ahakz... And eventually u'll feel at eased... more relax and calm.. and filled...

so that is what actually happend to me... i started to collect few light reading motivational books that are religious based.. and i did read it.. currently on Enjoy Your Life by Dr Muhammad Abd Al-Rahman Al-'Ariff (tu dia..panjang nya nama dia...)... it can be consider as recreational book that ill grab before sleep or in the middle of not-knowing what to do... or maybe when im extremely empty.. the topics nearly covered what we normally encounter in life and what are the action that was taken by the Prophet when the same thing happens back during His time.. somehow it relates the current condition with the Prophet life.. the book is in English.. but dont worry.. the sentences construction are so simple and make the whole 3 pages text understandable...

among the topics are:

1.The heys to heart

2. Do not criticize

3. Gentleness only beautifies

4. If what you desire does not happen and the list goes on...

p/s: happy reading~~!! and enjoy??? @_@

Parfum

Parfum... that's how the French pronounce perfume.. Im sure many of you out there are regular perfume user which means you dont leave the house without it on certain occasion (office, shopping, meetings or even to mamak's ? o_O). frankly speaking.... i love being around people who smells nice coz i stink!!! ahakzz... some might have certain smell that reminds us of them whenever we come across similar smell.. so trademark!! and im always a big fan of trade mark..And some of the you out there... i know your smell!!! even meters away.... ^0^...why the heck i sound so weird? no seual harassment intention here okay.. nada!!!

i grew up smelling so sweaty from all the sports event and running here and there for chores (walking slow me down!!).. and aha.. up to this age... never had proper perfume before.. its either i bought some weird body shop's perfume and ended up donating the to others coz i barely finish half of the bottle after 2 years from the year i purchase... ahakz... then my bestie introduce me to body mist from Victoria Secret. Love it!!! but again.. the whole 250 ml took me ages to move the level down by 5 ml..?? hehehe and due to the frequent free fall of the bottle... the pressing knob hehehehe kaput!! ayyyyyyy...

Then recently been a regular visitor to Badjenid . They sell most of the hot selling perfume in the market but in the form of essential oil with as low as RM 2 per small bottle (the small one). Not sure whether it should be considered as generic coz the effect is much longer compared to the one selling in Guardian and Watson. So i bought.. ahakz... 4 small different flavor perfume (macam boley makan)..

and 2 bigger one.. 1big + 2 small for each me n my mother...People might questioned: Why cant u just buy the original one? soooo pretender!! nk guna barang mahal.. tapi tak mampu (macam ako kesah klau nk kata pn!!!)... hmmmm per original bottle is around RM 200 ++... for someone that still in search of her 'smell' shouldnt i start with minimal amount? (so diplomatic me~~~yuckksss!!!).. so... people.. wish this stinggan girl luck so that she'll find a suitable one among them.. because..... I WANT TO SMELL NICE...

p/s: no intention of highlighting the background of the bottle... Ayyyy...

Morning

Ive once posted this in my FB: the art of being a good guest is knowing when to leave.. So i was a guest at this lab for nearly 2 weeks. It was a major joy to me since im able to lay my hand on the wahh so up to date instrument and alhamdulillah i manage to familiarize myself with the system within 2 days.. so i was running my samples while listening to the newly acquired ipod (huhh is it too obvious to say that im a gadget freak?never use them to the maximum extend but having them is indeed a MUST!!!)... and finishing up some story books... (2 finished!!!^^)...

maybe my presence is so annoying or maybe i am thinking too much...am i? the not so busy instrument suddenly is under routine running.. it was left untouched previous week... and hint by hint were delivered.. the last day i was there... nearly towards the end of my run, routine run started... with extreme humbleness i asked when is so-and-so not using the machine.. so i would like to pinjam and use.... hmmm "not sure" is the answer.. down sat!!!... then this morning, i asked again... "It will be used the whole day for the lab's samples"... okay... now i am sad... just thought silver lining is showing itself on the dark cloudy weather... and when the heck am i going to finish my research if things like this keep on popping out..!!!

p/s: not much progress from my guitar practicing.. im an absolute tone deaf... and i still couldnt sing along while i strum... it doesnt sound right either...

Day 5

Diary Merah...

camna ni... it has been 5 days my fingers being tortured.. but i still didnt hear any improvement.. the only thing yang ako dengar is ayat adik ako: Awat cam salah tune? huhh... bukan salah tune la.. ako tekan tak kuat n tak betul... cam rasa nk terbelah ja..waawawawa.. extreme torture nih... T_T...

Lupa Dunia

Diary merah...

i wasnt feeling well nowadays... in short.. my life is getting quite.. too quite... which bored me and when this thing happen, i'll be emotionally unstable... i'll get so depressed that i just look blankly at the tiles on the wall.. or be extremely quite and couldn't smile without forcing myself to do so...

the only thing excite me is my newly picked hobby... actually its a revised hobby... inches of dust being blowed away from c coklat that i owned since my second year in uni.. was instantly fell for it the moment i paid for it. But hardly touch it. took classes which i stop after realizing that i have absolutely zero talent in it. But as i watched another zero knowledge girl in it, manage to play a full song.. i was stimulated heavily by it. I'll force myself..no matter what.. even my fingers hurt so much as i force them on the string.. sialnya sakit.. napa la org lain rileks ja...

after obtaining the chords from inche-used-to-have-rambut-goli-goli-and been constantly-changing -his-hairstyle (million thanks weh).. so i've made my first step in exploring again it's world... familiarizing myself with all the chords first...

basically among the chords involve are : G D Em Dm E7 Am7 Am C Dsus4 Bm7 ... Susah gila weh.. camna la mamat-mamat n minah2 terror ni dapat goreng???? wahhhhhh fighting!!!!

p/s: was hoping to turn this small journey into beautiful sound and tune....although still couldn't differentiate and recognize each sound.. eh.. i think everything is out of tune loh!!

A slap on Me

The stacks of dishes and cups were soaped and rinsed with the accompany of the non stop watery eyes alongside with the hingus from the nose. Couldn’t bare to face the crowd, I turned my back and continue to clean and wipe whatever necessary. Passer-by either stops and left the room or just ignores the tense atmosphere. Those cheap tears were wiped with the sleeve of my shirt. Why am I being so sensitive? Why am I acing like I never been scolded before? Why a fighter like me easily shed my tears over small thing?

It must been awhile since the last time I cried over something. I don’t blame them. Nothing they did was out of norm. It was me that lack is of knowledge. It was me that do less preparation when I have more than 2 weeks to prepare but I took it so easily. I expected to be ditch with multiple unanswered questions. But I didn’t expect I have such a low buffering system. Everything started to blurred after everyone left the room. It took nearly 1 hour for my breathing to stabilize and no longer paint my nose and face with red color.

I’m not sure whether it is normal or not to feel the sense of freshness along with the sudden emptiness after you cried. I felt relieved after the cried and vulnerable at the same time. Feel like I was broke into pieces and was glued back with holes and imperfection here and there. Short while after that, I grabbed a motivational book “Enjoy your life” by Dr Muhammad ‘Abd Al-Rahaman Al-‘Arifi. Few glance at the content and like a kid that was given a magic canvas. My soul was immediately filled with I’m not sure what. Words? No. It is something very content. Knowledge maybe. Or probably maturity. Ive been in a hard situation that neither anyone will like, and I fell hard on it and I gained something unexplained by words and I can smile on my silly act and aware that I shouldnt repeat the same mistake and the improvement will be the satisfactory solution temporarily.

God never left you alone in the dark. He’s with you even at your lowest sorrow state. Close you eye and you can feel the love. The presence of protection surrounding you embracing you and reminding you to stay strong because He’s with you.

A thought from the book:

When u climb a mountain, look at the top and not to the rocs that surround you. Make sure of where you step as you climb and do not leap in case you loose your footing.

I am a beg-pack traveller, luggage and carrier bag just don't work on me

Tagline for this story will be: I am a beg-pack traveller, luggage and carrier bag just don't work on me. and heck.. in the attempts to start handy travel log without excess clothing which i hardly wear, i carried a nike training bag which is supposed to fit all the necessary baju in... ahakzz... ako terlupa!!! nk take into accounts on the after visitation to shops, gerai, shopping complexes... ahaa... and dengan gaya super makcik with left and right hop from one train station to another... no more!!! no more!!! i wasn't going to talk much about what i have done through out the trip, but what i have gained through out the days...

1. meeting up your old buddies are so indeed a must after being apart for sometime to find the old you. the genuine you that worry less, think less, enjoy more, watch movie more, laugh more... its a way to reflect how much you have grow... whether positively or negatively...

2. leave all the work behind. It is hard to be an adult.. even worst if u held any important position.. basically workloads will be continuously being reminded whenever u are about to start to have fun.. can i just be once a while being irresponsible and say: forgive yourself once a while will you..leave the BB, laptop behind... ignore those crazy calls.. you are on holidays.. works shouldn't be standing on the way... but susah kan... T.T.. mengeluh jap.... maybe u can do so for long period traveling like what the mat saleh did.. haihhh~~~

3. postponing the date to travel is a vodoo!!! cannot cannot!! do not do so!!!! what happen if u have sick mate in the group? the best option is to get the correct medication for the illness.. DO NOT ever rely on commercially available pills like panadols and its product. These pills will only temporarily relieve your pain but couldnt cure you.. u'll end up suffering and suffocating yourself with all the symptoms.. drop by at the pharmacy or clinic to get the recommended medication... on top of that.. take care of your health when the date is around the corner...

4. be flexible.. always expect the unexpected (no hotel, no ticket).. things often doesnt turn out to be according to plan.. don't be panicked.. control your anger and emotion... coz there might be more things to explore and enjoy or gained by doing the unplanned events... ^^... prepare yourself with surprises..

5. lapangkan dada dan minda anda when you are around others.. all are human being with different way of thinking and behavior... people might agree or might disagree with your plan.. so again.. be flexible and mature enough to handle these situations... stay calm... think of the best way that works for others.. for the whole team.. nama pn geng kan... even you have to put behind your interest.. its ok... u can do it some other time kan... ^^..

Learn to enjoy every single thing u do

Coretan Gelap

Terhenti kata tiada terluah

Dinginnya malam menyapa manja

Ditemani janitor berbunyi tega

Kekosongan jiwa disebalik ketawa

Senyum terpahat palsu belaka

Hiba dirasa ketiadaan makna

Dekat pada tuhan antara caranya

Namun… ako manusia biasa

Tidaj lari dari lara dunia

Tiada tertepis godaan jiwa

Ingin terbang membelah benua

Mencari erti hidup berkelana

Meratah rakus ilmu jauh

Menyambut malam larut belaka

Menjengah pagi tanpa paksa

Harapan, mimpi dan reality berbeza

Ucapan kata dan bicara hanya terluah

Bila tiada teman di sisi

Diri sunyi namun selesa

Terasa ruang banya sekali

Coretan hati tiada pembaca

Lakaran rasa milik siapa

Di depan mata tidak ku timbang

Sesal kemudian sudah ku sedia

Terbanglah wahai mencari bunga

Usah ditunggu kudup layu

Yang tega tidak mekar

Kerna kuatir kecut sebelum masa

Bimbang tika kembang tiada bezanya

p/s: whoaaaa ako merepek time rumahku terhenti letrik … and terpengaruh dengan bahasa lama dalam Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

being ignored

have you ever felt left out when u are in a group.. you initially wasn't belong to the group, yet due to you being thick face, slowly you manage to mingle in.. sometimes it feels great when you are considered in the circle..

yet.. grabbing something that is not yours from the very beginning wasnt easy even though you've tried hard... there's no one to blame in this case.. you'll be acting the same way if u have non-geng hang over... kan?? tapi cannot emo emo!!! you are blessed... at least you still have them around... they might not be the who you expected them to be... then.. expect less.. dont expect to be paid attention all the time.... comfort yourself if u feel like being ignored.. find something that u can do alone without attracting attention that u tend to stay away from the group... just find some simple distraction... even though you'll end up twisted... but u have to... its a way of being a survivor...

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

Got an email from a dear friend Melissa about the donation for Japan that was badly effected after the tsunami, the earth quake and the nuclear leak. It was such a major shock to the world when a so developed country who is ahead of the world in many fields was hit continuously with disasters. Well... there might be reasons behind every single thing that happen.. Lets just pray hard that the country can survive the crash and the citizens are safe.. there's not much thing for us to do.. below are simple thing that you might find it useful if u are planning to donate to Japan.. (im too sleepy to avoid plagarism...directly taken from her email)

"My mother and family lives there and it is very bad that so i thought of taking this opportunity for us bloggers to reach out to our readers asking to lend a helping hand. A little help goes a long way i believe.

Hope you can consider. Thank you and have a good day

Donate RM3 http://www.groupsmore.com/cities/multiple/deals/malaysian-red-crescent

Donate RM10

http://milkadeal.com/deals/support-malaysian-red-cross-emergency-relief-fund-for-japan-and-make-a-difference

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi"

shout out: babe!! semoga your mother and family are in good condition. insyallah

International Day

Recently went to a concert organized by the International Student, USM. Its an interesting events filled with dances and performances.. the MCs were very entertaining as well..

Here were the memorable moments:

1. A male singer from indonesia with a teddy bear walked up towards his girlfriend while singing More Than Words and wished her happy anniversary (half hugging her) was indeed only happen in movie.

2. Few international students from western countries (the whites) were dancing : Bollywood dance and korean pop song (Run Devil Run and Ghee - SNSD).

3. All the dances choreograph by the brother of ex-bakti's mak cik cafe yang masak rebung masuk lemak paling sedap skali!!!!

4. Belly dancing + ballet dance = exotic dance

Sementara

Menjengah kejap blog berhabuk ako nih... berlaptopkan c mox and bertempat d surau sementara menunggu masuk nya zohor... tetiba terpanggil lak tuk menekan... walaupun tak tahu la arah tuju nya ke mana... hmmm... petang ni akan try guna machine dekat lab yang agak asing... tak la kenal orang sangat. just happen the lecturer know my lecturer... so ako nk la g test sample kt sana.. machine yang lebey canggih... tp kan.. pandangan mata diaorg time ako singgah tuk shrt communication with them were a bit unwelcoming... cam ntah aah itu look down or apa.. tp... its not something very comfortable to begin with.. aihh~~~ pasni klau ok, kira agak kerap la gak ako akan bertapa di sana... camna nih... kena tahan and bare with it ja la...~~

shout out: this coming dinner really drives me nuts... tetiba cam tersedar.. i have nothing good to wear.. all are ok sahaja... glad to be helped by melissa.. thanks babe!! but dont know.. i like to wear something that represent me.. masculinity in femininity... tapi blum lagi come across..

Bodoh + Sombong = Takbur

The wise always said: Jangan jadi bodoh sombong.. so wat’s this bodoh and sombong is all about? Bodoh is when a thing can be done in a nick of time but because of ur own “kebodohan” it took longer time to complete them… sombong refers to the situation where everyone goes through the same old process but u acting so blagak… and not wanting to go through the same route konon-kononnya u are capable of accomplishing your mission using different ways…

ahaaaa!!!! Ako bodoh and ako sombong… ako bodoh sebab ako dah g 3 klinik tuk buat medical check up… and 2 klinik pertama ako blah sbb kononnya ako malas nk tunggu…. Haaaaa ako sombong.. gayanya leh drive g klinik and can go even at night...!!! ahakkzz!!! P blah!!! Dapat hg.. g check ntah tak sampai 5 min… and turunkan cop yang tak seberapa… hambik.. RM 40!! Dengan alasan ako tak tunjuk paper medical check up masa pendaftaran.. hmmmm ako malas nk argue what is the rational nya ako hand in lambat and ako hand in cepat kan???? Nama pn org2 terpelajar.. takkan nk reverse kaedah tak reti kan? Prosedur kononnya.. ahhh…. Ako sah-sah p bagi kad matrix kt dia.. tau la.. ako ni student… terpelajarnya mereka… mengecaj student RM40 tuk check BP ngan tekap ngan stetoskop!!

Oohhh.. mula2.. ako cam nk maki ja … tapi ako pikir balik.. ni suma gara-gara ako takbur… Tuhan nk tunjuk tu… astarfirullahhalazim.. kenapa la ako jadi camni.. mana nya ako yang humble and down to earth tu? Kenapa la semenjak fellowship sambung balik ako jadi tak tentu hala… elaun tambah.. tapi ako sepnd pada tahap tak senonoh… ako easily bazirkan duit cam tak dak makna ja duit tu… Marina oooi!!! Elaun yg hg dapat tu duit cuka keringat rakyat… manusia ppuan oiiii!!!!!! Hg sewenang2 nya anggap RM20-RM30 tu tak banyak mana…hg ponteng kelas berbayar sesuka hati…. Apa nih… ???’

Shout out: ako nk wat rangka perbelanjaan tuk next month.. all will be going according to paper!!! Cam nk ja langgar kpala kt dinding… tp.. sakit…. T_T..

Plain Jane dan Tulip

Ikut definasi kebanyakkan orang.. plain jane referring to a women with average appearance dan juga ability.. Ia juga merupakan tajuk novel menulis fav ako.. Nurul Syahida.. Selaku orang yang ber"appearance" plain dan berkelakuan tidak plain... tidak begitu menggemari bunga... no no... ako juga tidak menggemari binatang... juga menunjukkan betapa ako bukan seorang yang penyayang... hakhakhak... motif??.. ako lebey menggemari benda yang realistik... benda yang mengenyangkan... or me"sweat"kan ako, or things yang dapat menambahkan ilmu ako...

tulip pula.. merupakan bunga yang segenap orang yang kurang romantik suka.. bg ako.. org yang romantik,, kegemaran dia adalah mawar... Dan... tulip istimewa wlaupun tidak segah mawar... tulip tiada madu dan tidak berbau... maka tidak menarik perhatian sang serangga... tapi dia tetap gah dan tegak menghiasi taman.... mawar cantik... berduri dan menarik... mawar menarik perhatian para serangga...

linknya antara dua.... orang yang biasa juga mampu memberi impak kepada situasi... wahai plain Jane (s) and John (s) ~~!!!!!! head up!!.. and believe in yourself..that you are.. precious...

shout out: tetiba nk g Holland..

What if.. if...

I was reading an article from theSun while eating my mom's pisang pancake (tempek pisang la...).. I couldnt recall the exact title but it is something like "falling in love with your best friend's boyfriend"... haaaa... nk kata ako poyo la tu.. eh tak... ako nak buat recap ulasan ja on the article.. bukan nak jd love guru giving out love lesson pn...

so in summary the steps to be taken if.. u just happen to be in such situation are: (according to the article okay..and versi ingat-ingat lupa + tambahan asam n garam skit...rempah juga!!)

1. Try to avoid hanging out with them. Anyhow your best friend and u used to hang out together kan before he/she got to know him/her..

2. Talk!! get someone trustworthy enough not to mulut murai and p jaja story dari chek kiah ke pak tam to talk to... u seriously need to talk...

3. if you best friend happen to sense your withdrawal from the activities u all plan t have together... again.. talk.. in a not dumb way.. dont go like "I'm all into your bla bla bal bf.. he is so.. bla bla bla.. i cant get him off my head..".. bimboos and bambees... itu kerja ngekss!! diffrent individual have different acceptance level in confronting benda-benda kusut cam love stuff... so b wise...

shout out: You cant force people to be in love and to fall out of love...

another jeritan : Your best friend is the treasure of the world... for me..

another jeritan kuasa dua : Friendship remains and never should end...

Buku dan Melancong... 2 2 ako mahu

Dah dua hari ako tak nganga tgk tv..!! wow... a few short info check on the program and was glad that none of them seduce me hard enough to watch.. wahahah... so basically.. i was able to stand firm on reducing tv program and spend more time reading... ahakz... it can be from the nobel reading material- Journals and scientific articles to ahakz... story books and blogs~~ read juga kan????

I bought 2 more books today.. not knowing when to read.. but it was extremely cheap.. 2 Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice & Persuasion for RM12??? hahaha yeng leh... !!! read first few pages... and kind of like it... ako minah rock yang agak ska layan cerita classical romance... back to the life where love was not that openly expressed.. and was nicely crafted in poems and stories in the indirect manner... ako rasa la kot... sbb ako tak la paham sangat kan poem dia... hahahaha tu yg ako rasa indirect ah.... ^_~..

Isshhhh still wasn't over the heartache feeling of knowing few of my best buddies are going to KSM without me... aissshhh.. blame on the slow me that forget to reapply for new passport earlier... sad aaahhh!!!! Few plans ahead was made for this trip... what to wear... even bought new slipper, hat,bag... and demmm... worst... i felt extremely guilty for planning the trip and ended up not going and being partially suspected for excusing myself from the trip with ahaaa so called unavoidable reason... Buddies... Maaf ya!!! ako tidak sengaja... truly madly sorry...tp cam stress.. they are ging to have the fun of a lifetime and huhh!!!! ako d Penang??Turning green...

Sebelum ke Imegresen

Balik ja dari kelas tajwid.. something stung me in the hand that i suddenly hit "chinese muslim malaysia revert blog" on the keyboard... numerous inspiring blogs popped out... after reading their stories and the hardship they came across after they converted... then i realize.. how easy my life compare to them... they initiate the change and its the responsibility of the future gen to maintain and uphold the efforts that they made...

wow... tat is soooo theory... bet 2 biji of limau mandarin... out of 5 there might be he most 2 families are following the law as it is... me? mesti aah among the other 3.. bukan buka pekung di dada... (ako wangi!!!ako pkai bedak alken and deodorant sanex okay!!) .. tp tu la hakikatnya... tp ako still bersyukur.. i wasnt toooo off the track... although demmm i am a rule breaker... but heheheh i always believe He'll still loves me and always watched over me... and i'll always be reminded indirectly whenever im off the limit... ahhhh... ^_^... alhamdulillah...

tak wajar kiranya ako bandingkan diriku ngan org yg lebih kureng kan... itu bukan improvement namanya.. itu..mencari excuse... haaaa!! mari mari... kita berusaha~~ ako tak minta org faham ngan who i am and what ive turn out to be... coz you can never understand.. coz u are not me.. vice versa juga... just pray for me... pray that ill be a better person in life... of coz ler... i'll pray for u olzz too...

Shout out: ako tak alim.. tapi ako bukan jahil..ako... cuma tidak pandai berhujah cam org lain...

1 pagi

Baru pas abiskan novel [Tunas].. one word.. kagum... kagum ngan school life budak-budak dalam novel tu... wahh... amazingly interesting... tetiba nyesal.. tp benda dah lepas.. if only gear reverse applicable to any truly regretful event in our life, then i'll start with before PMR... tapi.. to hell those angan-angan...

ako cemburu.. jeles dengan budak asrama yang dapat true bond yang kekal till now.. a lone ranger myself, bonding tu cam satu perkara asing and weird to me.. even ako tak dak so called bff.. i barely touch anyone's life.. ako come and make noise ping pong pang pang... then left.. without trace.. pastu kembali pada dunia "meng" (dream) ako@novel and tv drama... dari secondary school lg... ako tak g date, ako tak reti lepak dkt shopping complex tgk org... ako tak reti hangout kt tmpt fast food for hours.. after any class or school end, ako nek bus cow trus blk then buka tv ngaga... true... ramai org cakap ako girl next door... kot... cuma ako tak skema ler..coiiiiii~~

nasib masuk uni... He granted my inner crust wish to socialize... maka... ako jumpa geng ako.. tu pun.. km jumpa once a while... png pong pang pang... then shhhhhh for weeks or months... then ada mission.. bising blk... kawan-kawan rapat yg lain pn camtu... klau jumpa cam nk terbalik tamannya sembang... klau tak... senyap... p lab pn ako sronok... ada geng gila ska gelak n ska nyanyi.... tapi same... in then out...

at 1 am in the morning!!ako menganalisis condition ako yang agak... clueless ini... adakah ako mengalami silent psychological disorder... tak kot... normal kot.. ako pn rimas gak benda cling cling terlebey nih... tapi... ako rasa normal... ako assume ako normal...

p/s: ako ingin memiliki satu kelebihan yang spesifik... tapi ako tgh fikir... yg mana satu perlu ako asah dan khususkan....