Coretan Gelap

Terhenti kata tiada terluah

Dinginnya malam menyapa manja

Ditemani janitor berbunyi tega

Kekosongan jiwa disebalik ketawa

Senyum terpahat palsu belaka

Hiba dirasa ketiadaan makna

Dekat pada tuhan antara caranya

Namun… ako manusia biasa

Tidaj lari dari lara dunia

Tiada tertepis godaan jiwa

Ingin terbang membelah benua

Mencari erti hidup berkelana

Meratah rakus ilmu jauh

Menyambut malam larut belaka

Menjengah pagi tanpa paksa

Harapan, mimpi dan reality berbeza

Ucapan kata dan bicara hanya terluah

Bila tiada teman di sisi

Diri sunyi namun selesa

Terasa ruang banya sekali

Coretan hati tiada pembaca

Lakaran rasa milik siapa

Di depan mata tidak ku timbang

Sesal kemudian sudah ku sedia

Terbanglah wahai mencari bunga

Usah ditunggu kudup layu

Yang tega tidak mekar

Kerna kuatir kecut sebelum masa

Bimbang tika kembang tiada bezanya

p/s: whoaaaa ako merepek time rumahku terhenti letrik … and terpengaruh dengan bahasa lama dalam Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

being ignored

have you ever felt left out when u are in a group.. you initially wasn't belong to the group, yet due to you being thick face, slowly you manage to mingle in.. sometimes it feels great when you are considered in the circle..

yet.. grabbing something that is not yours from the very beginning wasnt easy even though you've tried hard... there's no one to blame in this case.. you'll be acting the same way if u have non-geng hang over... kan?? tapi cannot emo emo!!! you are blessed... at least you still have them around... they might not be the who you expected them to be... then.. expect less.. dont expect to be paid attention all the time.... comfort yourself if u feel like being ignored.. find something that u can do alone without attracting attention that u tend to stay away from the group... just find some simple distraction... even though you'll end up twisted... but u have to... its a way of being a survivor...

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

Got an email from a dear friend Melissa about the donation for Japan that was badly effected after the tsunami, the earth quake and the nuclear leak. It was such a major shock to the world when a so developed country who is ahead of the world in many fields was hit continuously with disasters. Well... there might be reasons behind every single thing that happen.. Lets just pray hard that the country can survive the crash and the citizens are safe.. there's not much thing for us to do.. below are simple thing that you might find it useful if u are planning to donate to Japan.. (im too sleepy to avoid plagarism...directly taken from her email)

"My mother and family lives there and it is very bad that so i thought of taking this opportunity for us bloggers to reach out to our readers asking to lend a helping hand. A little help goes a long way i believe.

Hope you can consider. Thank you and have a good day

Donate RM3 http://www.groupsmore.com/cities/multiple/deals/malaysian-red-crescent

Donate RM10

http://milkadeal.com/deals/support-malaysian-red-cross-emergency-relief-fund-for-japan-and-make-a-difference

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi"

shout out: babe!! semoga your mother and family are in good condition. insyallah

International Day

Recently went to a concert organized by the International Student, USM. Its an interesting events filled with dances and performances.. the MCs were very entertaining as well..

Here were the memorable moments:

1. A male singer from indonesia with a teddy bear walked up towards his girlfriend while singing More Than Words and wished her happy anniversary (half hugging her) was indeed only happen in movie.

2. Few international students from western countries (the whites) were dancing : Bollywood dance and korean pop song (Run Devil Run and Ghee - SNSD).

3. All the dances choreograph by the brother of ex-bakti's mak cik cafe yang masak rebung masuk lemak paling sedap skali!!!!

4. Belly dancing + ballet dance = exotic dance

Sementara

Menjengah kejap blog berhabuk ako nih... berlaptopkan c mox and bertempat d surau sementara menunggu masuk nya zohor... tetiba terpanggil lak tuk menekan... walaupun tak tahu la arah tuju nya ke mana... hmmm... petang ni akan try guna machine dekat lab yang agak asing... tak la kenal orang sangat. just happen the lecturer know my lecturer... so ako nk la g test sample kt sana.. machine yang lebey canggih... tp kan.. pandangan mata diaorg time ako singgah tuk shrt communication with them were a bit unwelcoming... cam ntah aah itu look down or apa.. tp... its not something very comfortable to begin with.. aihh~~~ pasni klau ok, kira agak kerap la gak ako akan bertapa di sana... camna nih... kena tahan and bare with it ja la...~~

shout out: this coming dinner really drives me nuts... tetiba cam tersedar.. i have nothing good to wear.. all are ok sahaja... glad to be helped by melissa.. thanks babe!! but dont know.. i like to wear something that represent me.. masculinity in femininity... tapi blum lagi come across..

Bodoh + Sombong = Takbur

The wise always said: Jangan jadi bodoh sombong.. so wat’s this bodoh and sombong is all about? Bodoh is when a thing can be done in a nick of time but because of ur own “kebodohan” it took longer time to complete them… sombong refers to the situation where everyone goes through the same old process but u acting so blagak… and not wanting to go through the same route konon-kononnya u are capable of accomplishing your mission using different ways…

ahaaaa!!!! Ako bodoh and ako sombong… ako bodoh sebab ako dah g 3 klinik tuk buat medical check up… and 2 klinik pertama ako blah sbb kononnya ako malas nk tunggu…. Haaaaa ako sombong.. gayanya leh drive g klinik and can go even at night...!!! ahakkzz!!! P blah!!! Dapat hg.. g check ntah tak sampai 5 min… and turunkan cop yang tak seberapa… hambik.. RM 40!! Dengan alasan ako tak tunjuk paper medical check up masa pendaftaran.. hmmmm ako malas nk argue what is the rational nya ako hand in lambat and ako hand in cepat kan???? Nama pn org2 terpelajar.. takkan nk reverse kaedah tak reti kan? Prosedur kononnya.. ahhh…. Ako sah-sah p bagi kad matrix kt dia.. tau la.. ako ni student… terpelajarnya mereka… mengecaj student RM40 tuk check BP ngan tekap ngan stetoskop!!

Oohhh.. mula2.. ako cam nk maki ja … tapi ako pikir balik.. ni suma gara-gara ako takbur… Tuhan nk tunjuk tu… astarfirullahhalazim.. kenapa la ako jadi camni.. mana nya ako yang humble and down to earth tu? Kenapa la semenjak fellowship sambung balik ako jadi tak tentu hala… elaun tambah.. tapi ako sepnd pada tahap tak senonoh… ako easily bazirkan duit cam tak dak makna ja duit tu… Marina oooi!!! Elaun yg hg dapat tu duit cuka keringat rakyat… manusia ppuan oiiii!!!!!! Hg sewenang2 nya anggap RM20-RM30 tu tak banyak mana…hg ponteng kelas berbayar sesuka hati…. Apa nih… ???’

Shout out: ako nk wat rangka perbelanjaan tuk next month.. all will be going according to paper!!! Cam nk ja langgar kpala kt dinding… tp.. sakit…. T_T..

Plain Jane dan Tulip

Ikut definasi kebanyakkan orang.. plain jane referring to a women with average appearance dan juga ability.. Ia juga merupakan tajuk novel menulis fav ako.. Nurul Syahida.. Selaku orang yang ber"appearance" plain dan berkelakuan tidak plain... tidak begitu menggemari bunga... no no... ako juga tidak menggemari binatang... juga menunjukkan betapa ako bukan seorang yang penyayang... hakhakhak... motif??.. ako lebey menggemari benda yang realistik... benda yang mengenyangkan... or me"sweat"kan ako, or things yang dapat menambahkan ilmu ako...

tulip pula.. merupakan bunga yang segenap orang yang kurang romantik suka.. bg ako.. org yang romantik,, kegemaran dia adalah mawar... Dan... tulip istimewa wlaupun tidak segah mawar... tulip tiada madu dan tidak berbau... maka tidak menarik perhatian sang serangga... tapi dia tetap gah dan tegak menghiasi taman.... mawar cantik... berduri dan menarik... mawar menarik perhatian para serangga...

linknya antara dua.... orang yang biasa juga mampu memberi impak kepada situasi... wahai plain Jane (s) and John (s) ~~!!!!!! head up!!.. and believe in yourself..that you are.. precious...

shout out: tetiba nk g Holland..

What if.. if...

I was reading an article from theSun while eating my mom's pisang pancake (tempek pisang la...).. I couldnt recall the exact title but it is something like "falling in love with your best friend's boyfriend"... haaaa... nk kata ako poyo la tu.. eh tak... ako nak buat recap ulasan ja on the article.. bukan nak jd love guru giving out love lesson pn...

so in summary the steps to be taken if.. u just happen to be in such situation are: (according to the article okay..and versi ingat-ingat lupa + tambahan asam n garam skit...rempah juga!!)

1. Try to avoid hanging out with them. Anyhow your best friend and u used to hang out together kan before he/she got to know him/her..

2. Talk!! get someone trustworthy enough not to mulut murai and p jaja story dari chek kiah ke pak tam to talk to... u seriously need to talk...

3. if you best friend happen to sense your withdrawal from the activities u all plan t have together... again.. talk.. in a not dumb way.. dont go like "I'm all into your bla bla bal bf.. he is so.. bla bla bla.. i cant get him off my head..".. bimboos and bambees... itu kerja ngekss!! diffrent individual have different acceptance level in confronting benda-benda kusut cam love stuff... so b wise...

shout out: You cant force people to be in love and to fall out of love...

another jeritan : Your best friend is the treasure of the world... for me..

another jeritan kuasa dua : Friendship remains and never should end...

Buku dan Melancong... 2 2 ako mahu

Dah dua hari ako tak nganga tgk tv..!! wow... a few short info check on the program and was glad that none of them seduce me hard enough to watch.. wahahah... so basically.. i was able to stand firm on reducing tv program and spend more time reading... ahakz... it can be from the nobel reading material- Journals and scientific articles to ahakz... story books and blogs~~ read juga kan????

I bought 2 more books today.. not knowing when to read.. but it was extremely cheap.. 2 Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice & Persuasion for RM12??? hahaha yeng leh... !!! read first few pages... and kind of like it... ako minah rock yang agak ska layan cerita classical romance... back to the life where love was not that openly expressed.. and was nicely crafted in poems and stories in the indirect manner... ako rasa la kot... sbb ako tak la paham sangat kan poem dia... hahahaha tu yg ako rasa indirect ah.... ^_~..

Isshhhh still wasn't over the heartache feeling of knowing few of my best buddies are going to KSM without me... aissshhh.. blame on the slow me that forget to reapply for new passport earlier... sad aaahhh!!!! Few plans ahead was made for this trip... what to wear... even bought new slipper, hat,bag... and demmm... worst... i felt extremely guilty for planning the trip and ended up not going and being partially suspected for excusing myself from the trip with ahaaa so called unavoidable reason... Buddies... Maaf ya!!! ako tidak sengaja... truly madly sorry...tp cam stress.. they are ging to have the fun of a lifetime and huhh!!!! ako d Penang??Turning green...

Sebelum ke Imegresen

Balik ja dari kelas tajwid.. something stung me in the hand that i suddenly hit "chinese muslim malaysia revert blog" on the keyboard... numerous inspiring blogs popped out... after reading their stories and the hardship they came across after they converted... then i realize.. how easy my life compare to them... they initiate the change and its the responsibility of the future gen to maintain and uphold the efforts that they made...

wow... tat is soooo theory... bet 2 biji of limau mandarin... out of 5 there might be he most 2 families are following the law as it is... me? mesti aah among the other 3.. bukan buka pekung di dada... (ako wangi!!!ako pkai bedak alken and deodorant sanex okay!!) .. tp tu la hakikatnya... tp ako still bersyukur.. i wasnt toooo off the track... although demmm i am a rule breaker... but heheheh i always believe He'll still loves me and always watched over me... and i'll always be reminded indirectly whenever im off the limit... ahhhh... ^_^... alhamdulillah...

tak wajar kiranya ako bandingkan diriku ngan org yg lebih kureng kan... itu bukan improvement namanya.. itu..mencari excuse... haaaa!! mari mari... kita berusaha~~ ako tak minta org faham ngan who i am and what ive turn out to be... coz you can never understand.. coz u are not me.. vice versa juga... just pray for me... pray that ill be a better person in life... of coz ler... i'll pray for u olzz too...

Shout out: ako tak alim.. tapi ako bukan jahil..ako... cuma tidak pandai berhujah cam org lain...

1 pagi

Baru pas abiskan novel [Tunas].. one word.. kagum... kagum ngan school life budak-budak dalam novel tu... wahh... amazingly interesting... tetiba nyesal.. tp benda dah lepas.. if only gear reverse applicable to any truly regretful event in our life, then i'll start with before PMR... tapi.. to hell those angan-angan...

ako cemburu.. jeles dengan budak asrama yang dapat true bond yang kekal till now.. a lone ranger myself, bonding tu cam satu perkara asing and weird to me.. even ako tak dak so called bff.. i barely touch anyone's life.. ako come and make noise ping pong pang pang... then left.. without trace.. pastu kembali pada dunia "meng" (dream) ako@novel and tv drama... dari secondary school lg... ako tak g date, ako tak reti lepak dkt shopping complex tgk org... ako tak reti hangout kt tmpt fast food for hours.. after any class or school end, ako nek bus cow trus blk then buka tv ngaga... true... ramai org cakap ako girl next door... kot... cuma ako tak skema ler..coiiiiii~~

nasib masuk uni... He granted my inner crust wish to socialize... maka... ako jumpa geng ako.. tu pun.. km jumpa once a while... png pong pang pang... then shhhhhh for weeks or months... then ada mission.. bising blk... kawan-kawan rapat yg lain pn camtu... klau jumpa cam nk terbalik tamannya sembang... klau tak... senyap... p lab pn ako sronok... ada geng gila ska gelak n ska nyanyi.... tapi same... in then out...

at 1 am in the morning!!ako menganalisis condition ako yang agak... clueless ini... adakah ako mengalami silent psychological disorder... tak kot... normal kot.. ako pn rimas gak benda cling cling terlebey nih... tapi... ako rasa normal... ako assume ako normal...

p/s: ako ingin memiliki satu kelebihan yang spesifik... tapi ako tgh fikir... yg mana satu perlu ako asah dan khususkan....

Percubaan = Attempts

1 feb lepas... was ahaaa.. the first invincible step to the quarter century life... aiihhh~~~ achievements?? Teetttt... cam tu cam tu jer... but i am grateful to be blessed with circle of friends that are with me through rain and shine... so... i received 3 gifts this year and 150+ FB wishes.. (hmm not bad.. from 600+ friends..neary 25%!! eheheheh)..

Basically theme for bday this year is "Attempts":

First: Attempts to encourage or re"burn" semangat fotografiku... ^_^

this bag... had this at 11.50pm and hahahah "chewi"nya ako... membuka sebaik saja jam berdetik 12.. heheh.. I love the texture of the bag sooo much... ako gelar material camni.. Earth.. and ako slaku pencinta alam.. sangat la menjerit di kala melihat texture dalamannya yang diselang seli dengan kain bermotifkan africa... ada merah-merah skit lak tu...hehehe.. Heyyy kamu... thanks... u always read me well... sambil menggalas beg ni menyidai baju tgh malam...

Second: Yg ni plg lawak... attempt to memperempuankan ako... ahakzzz..

helloooo.. earings okay~~ co-celeb with mamat bijak paling blur penah ako jumpa... T_T... kata mereka.. susah nk cari the masculinity in feminism... and mission succeed!! lega... org tertarik pd earing more than me... ^_^.. and terasa glamor~~ ahakz... terkilan tak dapat join karaoke session pastu...~~ tp dapat makan kerabu soohooonn... hoyeayyy

Third: Attempt kembali ke pangkal jalan...

heheh.. berkat sumbangan budak-budak lab.. i chose a tafsir+tajwid Al-Quran.. ahhhhh dalam dia warna merah... hehehe... so akan diusung ke kelas tajwid stiap isnin n selasa... wink wink... thakssss you olz...

everyone:: hanya ucapan terima kasih yg dapat ako berikan.... nnt ako top up top up la budi hgpa suma yer... ^_^.. kamsahamnida...

Ako.. Belemoih??

Tetiba ako kena tamparan angin hari ini.. dengan statement: ako belemoih...~~ haaaaa... cam hurt 2 min... meh kt analisis kebelemoihan ako.. in the scale of 10.. those not interested.. aniongggg bye bye....

1. Physical appearance:

9.5 / 10

2. Handwriting

8.0/10

3. Housework

9.9 / 10

4. Presentation

8/10

5. Labwork

7/10 ???

p/s: basically all are over 5.. maka... hmmm mmg ah ako belemoih...

sebelum beradu

Disorder...!! ikut tafsiran ako: benda yang susah nk kawal.. abaikan the medical disorder term.. nnt penuh lak page senaraikan sedangkan yang come across otak ako adalah : mental disorder..

when i want to buy something, i'll basically flip all the pages available in the internet, drive to all the possible stores... but usually end up with not buying.. haaaa... I pengguna bijak ler.. cuma pengabis minyak keta ja.. ^_^.. kali ni benda yang ako nakkkk sangat bli adalah Tafsir Al-Quran with Tajwid.. U olzz... i br hehehe malu... mendaftarkan diri tuk kelas tu... bersyukur ada kwn2 yg berminat.. maka km pn berengkai-rengkai la p masjid USM..

first class was hectic. nearly lewat.. lupa amik wuduk.. (ingat tak sentuh AlQuran).. ngehhh pastu..skali dia cari volunteer nk baca.. kepala ako tetiba bentuk 90 darjah dengan tengkuk ako... haram tak panggung kpala.. wawawa.. buat benda jahat tak dak feel.. benda baik ako mau lak.. heheh lumrah weh lumrah.. nnt nnt la...

so.. ako dah melawat hampir kesemua bookstores: popular BJ, popular Qbay, Boarders, Penerbit USM, kedai buku di tmn tun sadon.. plg recent, ako dpt jumpa satu pengedar buku agama dkt net... Dar azzikry Enterprise.. maka after googlekan alamat dia. ako pn.. haaaaa drive all the way from bayan lepas to Bangunan Mara bersebelahan dgn

Masjid Kapitan Keling.. ahhhh thanks to Faez yg menjadi pemandu arah setiaku yg akan ako call dikala ako tak jumpa destinasiku.. (even the shops location dalam Qbay tak jumpa pn... dia lahhh yg menGPSkan ako..sangkiu~~).. skali wahhh kedai dia cam gedung!! bnyk gilo~~ dengan sedikit segan ako meninggalkan kedai itu setelah membelek2 yg mana yg patut...

ngehh.. satu pn tak BERKENAN~~~ urgghhh ako nk yg warna warni... yg dapat bakar skit smangat ako.. i love colors.....~~ tambah-tambah melibatkan benda-benda berat yg perlukan beberapa tanjalan pada godaan setan durjana itu!!! so ako masih mencari~~ mana yer???sugestions??

shout out: cam nk yg ni~~ ada color merah~~~

Sepi

Sitting in the dark... staring at the screen.. thinking of what to write... how to express me... in few lines of words.. without repeating the old lame story... pastu. blank...

i visited our director who was admitted to the hospital due to heart problem.. Kuasa tuhan kan... even minor surgery turn out to be a major failure... even there's probability of permanent damage to the body...

as i stand in front of his bed.. staring at the helpless him.. sayu~~~ sangat sayu~~... i still remember how one of his eye open and close as if acknowledging our presence.. it seem like he used all his remaining energy to tell all his visitors that : thank you for coming and dont worry to much about me...skali lagi... sayu~~..

knowing this great man as an active and kind hearted person, seeing him lying on the bed with wires and tubes connecting all over his body really breaks my heart.. students, staffs, lecturers.. despite of their race and religion, set their own little prayer in silent hoping for the best for him... what touches me the most his all his kids were around to entertain the guest with full courage.. despite of the warmth smile.. the eye shows no lies... the pain, the agony and the hurt are far beyond describe... as if the whole USM is under mourning...solat hajat, bacaan yassin are being conducted non stop.. visitors never ends... they keep coming.. because they care.. they hope his fast recovery...

as i was away from his ward... lagu Sepi started to play... the sound of Aizat's guitar strumming is all over my head... creating this emptiness that blanks me.. i was carried away... i made jokes and laugh myself out..to keep me back to reality... to not being sucked by the negative force... astarfirullahhalazim...

p/s: You are the almighty.. every mean of your action is with purpose.. yet.. please.. save him and let him continue his mission to serve.. to serve the people and to serve You... amin...

Hat + Pouch

I was wondering around in Qbay and was attracted to "material Basic Living, simple material"... perghhhh was so crazy over all the unique stuff in there... and oppsss got my self a stupid hat (cost me ~RM 50) and this wool pouch (RM 30).. i am indeed on heavy cash flow control program... yet i paid without hesitation and do i regret what i did? NO.. hehehe I'm an environmentalist.. well.. u can consider me that... and basically the items sold in this shop are either eco-friendly or something to do with saving the mother earth... kononnya lah!! ako guna alsan ni tuk membeli~~~ hehehee...

shout out: putting that hat on.. manage to isolate me (cam slalu ja ako terisolate..heheh) from the crowd and i sweat after only 10 min on it (made of wool leh~~) ..

Yeay!! Ako berpost!!

Hampir-hampir ingat ako akan melakukan benda vodooo of the year.. ahakzz.. for not posting.. although the amount of post obviously dah significantly decrease from many-many.. to not so many.. to less less!!! nyanyi sat lagu fav adik ako: Tahi ayam pn lebey panas dari smangat hg!!! wow!! hey kamu!! jgn blagak mengata ako.. mentang-mentang suda berseluar slim fit ngan kasut high neck!!!jeles okay~~

Actually, ako nk tambah lg kedut kt muka ako... sbb simple ja... weh... bila buat apa pn.. please guna speed bila anda perlu guna speed!!! walaupun beratur menanti turn tuk menghayunkan kaki dengan berpandukan kicking pad yang sebesar penampar patung Marry Brown yg berbulu dan berjaya menakutkan ako bilamana dia cuba bermesra ngan kanak-kanak yg teruja.. ooohss..soooo not my thing!!! ako yang sangat ska red... sangat gerli yer!!

ahh berbalik pada cer tadi... injury tu one of the common symptoms if u are practicing martial arts... ako pn tadi tercapit2 g bazar dalam peluh tahap gerimis teman mak ako cr tudung tuk baju bajan dia... (ahhh mak ako ada sindrom sensitive terhadap color pada tahap sangat melampau!!!!lari satu tone.. pn tak mo.. ako stress!!!!).. cuma kengkadang injury tu org cakap.. jgn dilayan.. pas abis merajuk.. bereh la balik tergeliat ka apa ka..

lenguh benau ako pusing cer tuk disampaikan dengan lebey sopan... camni la.. weh.. klau dah sampai turn tu... cepat la skit buat... jgn la medelay-delay masa tuk melayan sakit anda... klau betul sakit.. stop the training.. trus sit aside... eh.. ako tak sit aside la... ako lepak dkt2 juga.. heheheh cakap tak serupa bikinnya org....

shout out: ako suda de-stress kini!!

another jeritan: orang muka ensem tapi tak sempoi... ako pandang sepi~~~

Ako ska ini but ako tak ska sakit.. but ako still tahan time kena dushh dusshh bnyk kali juga~~

sbb... ako SUKA~

Pagi Bersambung Petang

Stretching kiri... ngeliat kanan.. buat buat belehak.. erkkkkk... haaaa lega urat saraf ako yg tangle sbb perasan seluar size S dan bersesak dalam savvy comel yang meluncur laju (130km/j) dan break hampir mengejut 2 kali!!! ^0^... kus... first break ako tgh pejam, second break ako tgh menguap.. so aksi nya hanya melibatkan biji mata kecil ku toiiiinnnggg terbeliak ja...

Ako slalu memotivasikan kengkawanku tanpa melihat imej pantulan permukaan licin merelit itu.. utk.. hahahah bergaya!! wasehhhh ako sendiri tidak menyikat rambut time g lab dan membiarkan gerbangan itu kekal hingga org termistaken ako tgh wat iklan shampoo (pre treatment = sebelum treatment).. sesungguhnya post treatment juga tiada bezanya... T_T..mop semata-mata...

U olz, pernah tak bla tgk org di sekitar sudut pandangan binokular korang on unsub (unidentified subject..versi Criminal Mind) yg mula-mula cam biasa-biasa ja.. then once awhile dia cam booomm!!!tersemangat!! hahhh!! slalu kot jadi chengitu.. tp yg poyo nya.. korang cam akan terkeluar statement dalam diam ler: "Uishhh apa hal???" tp tgk dia confident ja.. so korang malas nk amk port... haaaa manusia ni mmg ska terpengaruh c tanduk tu.. tambah-tambah ako!! biarlah... klaupun dia elok. dia berelok tuk diri dia... yg kekecohan melampau-lampau ni apa barang????

tak..misi ako kali ini adalah... menyucikan hatiku dengan meredakan lara ku terhadap kombinasi warna yang ako agak agak skit...kurang masuk... haaaaa gitu... bnyk ja occasion yg ako cam hippies tak tentu hala nya gabung warna... tapi bila org.. nampak ja.. ahhhh Dasar!!!! so.. pejam mata ja... biarlah org yg lebey konfius tentang warna yg membuat cuitan pada org yg kombinasi warnanya tersasar skit...

shout out: mari sesama kita berdoa pengarah centre ako dapat kembali sihat and makin sihat!! amin...

another jeritan: ako cam teringin nk stay SP... maju.. n tanah luas!!! plg pentign bnyk gedung textile!!

terus menjerit: I hate Arial font and guess what.. itu font pilihan.. danggg!!!!三八!!!

motif pic ini is to banding kan with the Bali Bali Cafe in USM.. This one actually came with a Halal sign (drop the que where they obtain it).. i googled for the pic and whoahhh tak dak org snap the sooo femes USM Bali-bali cafe???? sebar gas 3 das tanda kecewa sat!!!

My Thursday

Aikk... ternotice... ada 2 more followers!!! hellooooo.. slamat mencairkan telinga anda with my stories...

ahhh... ako br ter"realize" something... to be able to write more.. u actually need to see more... Jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan... So basically im out of idea to write since the perjalanan yg ako encouter daily is only USM to home to tuition class to USM.. yukkksss alasan ako untuk membungkuskan barang-barang tuk be on the road again~~!!!!! la la la...

hari ni... early in the morning disergah ngan ketegangan urat-urat dahi and tengkuk sat... hsssss.... its not easy being "someone".. bila you are the short cut to others.. and bila nama pn short cut... anda akan di klik-klik sini.. dan klik-klik sana... nasib ako mmg asal pn nyonya kepochi kan.. pastu utk 2 jam pertama, ako asyik sentap!!! bukan teruk mana pn... klau logiknya, klau ako lebih kurang berfikir tentang rasionalism dan ke"realistik"an.. bukan susah pn nk follow the flow... sendiri bikin serabut jer!!!! that's why kot org kata simple minded people less wayar rosak.. tekan pedal... jalannnnnn~~~

shout out: Alhamdulillah.. syukur... the extension for my scholarship has been extended to another year... 2011 started off well... (opsss for now kot)..

another jeritan: dah mula training TKD blk suda... ako sedar satu... ako dah tak malu alah utk menjerit!!! hahahah,... dlu malu-malu kot... skarang.. those screaming "ha jeceeehhhhh!!!!" adalah pendorong ako utk nmpk cool disebelah junior hensem!!! nasib i neutral... tp ako terperasan insan-insan cuba attract attention dia!! omg!!! cam nmpk gaya-gaya jahiliah ako dlu!!! hakhakhak... (@T_T@)

Novel-novel-novel

Ako ingin mengalu-alukan kedatangan ako ke dunia Novel!! welcome welcome...

Tadi ako lepak Popular... sambil melewati rak SPM (bahan tuition la..apa lagi).. ako singgah la kt rak novel... to the left.. to the left.. to the right.. to the right... yg ako nampak...

1. Cinta

2. Rindu

3. Kasih

4. Sayang

dan sewaktu dengannya....

why leh??? abis suda vocab dalam BM kah??? Kenapa? hanya ayat2 cintun ini sajakah dapat menarik perhatian si pembaca? tetiba terasa sgt square... bukan patutnya bulatkah?? Hmmm

ako apa lagi.. setiap tajuk gerli-gerli yg ako rasa tak masuk bulu telinga ako, jeling-jeling ja lah...

Tetiba nmpk satu buku: Jet Jonah by Ika Madera.. hmmm cam best... tapi tak dak lak 20% discount... ishhh .. memandangkn bday ako nk dekat... ako masukkan buku ini dalam wish list yer~~ ^0^

p/s: Wish list itu utk individual present ja ya... group !!! tak termasuk.. hekhekhek...

Click Click

i was suddenly asked: when can you start... ?

Previously i was threw the opposite question: hows your work?

Aduh~~~ juggling between two important routes in your life making sure that you wont regret the choices you made is not an easy thing to do...

어떻게??

Berdebar-debar...

ako makin tak sabar

setiap kali tanya kabar

dia cakap "pending lg dik"..

pastu ako terdetik

ni.. petanda tidak baik

Tak fikir nnt org tanya

tak tanya nnt ako yg gundah gulana

ahh merana~~~

Warning!!

Ako ni wlaupun dasar celup... (ako stil tulen okay).. tp kerana kesopanan dan tatasusila melayu yang masih ako pegang, maka ako cuba mengekalkan budi bahasa ako..

Hmmm camni lah.. put it short... kawan-kawan ku yang dikasihi sekalian.. stop bringing your friends over utk blind date or saja nk kenal-kenalkan dkt ako hanya sebab ako masih SINGLE!!!! macek tak gemar ye... ako sgt satisfied dgn hidup ako yg sangat berliang rongga ini walaupun graf menurun pada perhubungan sosial ku...

and hey!!!

you olz dont need to feel sorry for me yer... I am happy and grateful having regulars around me.. having them is good enough for me to go through few more years until i am ready... heck!!! i dont want to berchenta for long period of time.. if i made my mind to commit, tok kadi terus yer... so for now.. NO to marriage and NO to dating..

shout out: tangan ako berlekuk menekan tali!!

Lazy Monday

culas benor nak menghapdate hari ni.. Bukan apa..pepagi dah masuk meeting pembakar semangat.. lantas menyibukkan diri ngan mencuci radas-radas yg terbengkalai beberapa minggu lamanya.. haaaa ako mmg si malas!! Turut sama mengemas equiptment yg baru sampai.. ahhh bahagia kiranya barang2 yg ako guna adalah barangan baru and first hand...

Kata ja ako ngada, ako mmg ska barang baru.. murah pn tak pa.. Asal im the first one to lay my hand on it.. ^0^..

These are the screw cap glass test tube.. caya tak sepasang test tube ni bersama ngan tudung nya berharga nearly RM 25. Previously ako guna polypyrene test tube ja.. wlaupun this type of material proves to stand high temp or extreme pH condition, tapi ako ttp cam kurang yakin.. after all its in the plastic geng kan..

shout out: Cam mula diperli "dah rajin update skarang".. wink wink~~!!

Satu Evening

Dichlorophenac Sodium... That's the content of tablet yg ako dapat dari klinic for muscle pain ako.. Dia ni sejenis non steroidal anti inflammatory drug.. most commonly to be used for to reduce inflammatory effect on our injury.. the effect was fast.. incredibly fast... so basically ako dah agak okay today... lega poket ako tak yah g x-ray... but terpaksa la plak mengajar dalam mengantuk.. menguap2 sampai berair-air mataku...

2 kelas today.. next week insyallah going to increase to 3 classes on Sunday... camna nih.. budak2 tak tou ka bahawasanya ako ni garang n tak senonoh... kenapa la depa nk ako ajar lg.. ishhh...yg lawak jiran ako bermurah hati dengan murah hatinya menambah gaji ako!!! RM 2o lak tu!!! ishhh risau ako klau anak dia dpt B lg... tetiba macek stress!!

shout out: ako kurang productive today!!!

So many people ahh???

After ako dah tak tahan with the current pain, ako ajak mama g wat x-ray.. masuk ja Klinik Penawar.. mak aihhhh berdudun... kerusi pn non ada kosong.. Receptionist tu ckp, all the x-rays are conducted at Pantai.. After dpt approval of Dr, br can visit Pantai Hospital... and murah skit.. RM 38 jer.. Kt Klinik Perdana rm50.. heheheh before jantung ako stop pumping sbb berdiri lama sgt, ako pn majulah ke Klinik Perdana...

Ingat leh wat X-ray (nk juga!!!).. skali Dr cek sana skit..sini skit... dalam malu alah ako tunjuk dia belakang ako yg penuh bertampung ngan koyok... dia bg ubat..rugi ja ako g bli Salonplus dalam sakit2 cam rasa tahp jantung kena squeeze la ako pusing stereng keta g Giant bli.. ishhh... dalam sakit2 juga la ako g ngajor dihantar oleh bapa ku... tak sanggup weh nk bw keta sakit cmni...sakit dia tahap, keluarkan jantung yg pumping tu, then u squeeze the jantung skali... haaaaa..

pain killer + anti pain ointment (takut lak mkn pain killer sbb ako penah bc, excess amount of paracetamol akan cramp kn our jantung or muscle.. tp ramai kot org makan dari org yang pass away.. tawakal je kot)

The Morning? Moaning?

Celik2 mata ja ako pegang ketiak ako yg masih sakit gara-gara training melampau.. rasanya patah kot... sbb sakit nya sgt lah tahap maha... nk g lab pn rasa cam tak da kudrat ja... ishhh... dok rumah wat gapo?? boley nya kutu-kutu tikus yg masuk ke kepala ako kena renjatan "kebosanan".... so bersama air liur basi ngan Mox, ako pn mula lah menyelak blog2 org... dasar stalker.. ^_^..

hari tu pernah juga ako berpost di FB: Ako drop comment kt cubentv7@gmail.com. Its a talk show focuses on the youth development and current issues. Dah putus harapan dah kot after 2 weeks ako send.. tetiba one day... hekhekhek accepted... so basically what i gomel was as below::

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

I watched the Cube at NTV7 yesterday night. eventually something went wrong with the speaker of my tv in the middle of the show and i ended up watching a deaf show and luckily there's subtitles.. so i wish to respond to yesterday's topic something like Krisis Suku Abad right?

I strongly agree with Matthew (Matt?), about not comparing yourself with the pop stars or any successful peers.. and about being realistic... But.. daaa u cant help right? Im not sure if any of u experience this but i am in the middle of that crisis although im like 24?? The Korean wave!!

Im stuck in the middle of staying thin and getting thinner!! why?? because of the idols from korea.. Its not logic to compare yourself with the Hollywood celeb when u have black eye and 'penyet nose".. ^_^... But when korean pop culture started to invade Malaysia, everyone wanted to be like them... U know..long slim sleek legs!! pretty in the sense big eye, double eyelid, sharp nose, flawless skin, super white bright teeth..(although most of the idols were under plastic surgery..but still they are the product.. the result..) and even good in dancing... imagine.. i was as hard as a tree trunk but i started to do aerobic after i was "inspired" by the video clips and the live performances by the groups... And i started to stay healthy.. going for regular jog, drinking more juice, buying more tomatoes to scrub my full-of-acne-scar face, and even continuing taekwondo which i left for years.. hahaha..and not to forget...korean language class.. i am at level 3 now!! can u believe how disorder i am.... but hey.. at least i know how to read korean words.. although if u test me with the grammar and i'll failed instantly!! ^0^

In other word.. its not always negative to compare yourself with the more than you-any-any-aspects individual as long as you stay realistic.. It will somehow in the beginning drive u nuts for hoping that when u meet any of the idols and they'll be attracted to u.. (ahh crazy korean drama plot stretching on the Love at the first sign..hehehe).. but just be realistic or tell or force yourself to stay realistic... Those positive lifestyle should be maintain... (ya..reduce more on stalking their latest update online!!!)

p/s: it sounded like pillow talk than voicing out my view on the topic..

Guys.. It was cool show yesterday!! (my first cube segment)... and believe it or not.. My pa was watching this show as well.. probably taking initiative to understand us and the root of madness his children encounter that drive him nearly to the top.. ^0^

good luck.. !!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

instant fame??

Ted William.. does this name ring a bell?? He's the homeless guy that turn into global phenomena in a night!!! the self claimed golden voice ex-radio announcer who went down due to drugs and alcohol.. wahh dia sangat lucky being spotted by a columbus despatch reporter trus post kt youtube.. Youtube!! the hall of instant fame for some of the hollywood celeb... tp ok ker you gain instant fame???? cam scary ja...

"I dont know what it is,

That makes me feel like this,

I dont know who you are,

But you must be some kind of superstar,

Coz you got all eyes on you no matter where you are"

imagine.. today you are no one then tetiba esok you are a superstar?? tak ka jadi bewak puasa? tak tentu hala.. pastu nk behave camna pn tak tou... we allz the northerners called it "peqak"... hehehehe... ok.. meh kita beragan jap... klau kt jadi femes... what will you do??

klau ako la..benda pertama ako buat is... wat hair treatment.. hahahaah.. lama dah rambut ako cam cik lang... so basically ako make sure yg dia tak gerbang..hmmm straightening maybe.. or perm for more glam image.. omg!!!

then.. manicure and pedicure!! tp ako pesan la..skip the pewarna kuku... nnt rugi air se kolah lak amk wuduk tak sah.. >_<.. pastu.. haaaaaa.. permanent leg hair removal.. opsss... ni sekadar angan-angan ok... ako tou shaving your leg bulu is tak boley... T_T..(ako berfikir seperti itu stiap kali ako wax kaki ku..tp ttp ako wax)...

hehehe...tp mama tak kasi cukur bulu kening... so yg tu tak boley buat... ahhh teeth whitening.. bleach skit gigi kuning ako nih... pastu wat laser treatment boley? reduce or eliminate away the acne scar yg penuh mengisi setiap ceruk muka ako..

ahhhh so much thing to do!!!!patut la tak glamor~~!!

끝 (end)

@_@

Nk kata ako poyo pn silalah!!! like i care... kecuali ako akan mencebik muka tunjuk gigi ku yg lintang pukang ja la... ako berpost lagi buat kali kedua nya utk hari ini.. heheheh... tahap hot-hot chicken shit yg tahap plg tak leh blah....

dapat dah.. nama tuk lappy ako.. im going to call it Mox!! its a nick name me n my bestie called each other during our secondary school.. tu in short for gemuks... (2 2 pn underweight ja)... tanpa sebab yg munasabah pn we called each other that name.. kira tribute la to our 12 years friendship... babe!! u rock!!!

Ahhhh tetiba org sua kecoh "they are in the magazine".. of coz la ako tak cukup glam nk be in fashion or lifestyle mag... but.. my article was in the Dewan Kosmik!!! hoyeayyy first time yo!!! so doest hurt for me to gebang skit kan... (though my 2 other lab mates dah sgt otai tuk published few dah kan...)

Weh.. tershort cut lak nama bapa den.. there's a Tan behind yer...

Ota dua org yg agak hebat menghasilkan karya-karya ilmiah.. hehehe

Terinspire

ako ter"inspire" okay dengan morning chat bersama ngan kengkawan lab ako.. heheh sambil mencicah roti 4 segi ngan neslo paket (milo 3 in 1 + old ton white kopi!)... ahh maka ako telah melawat beberapa blog blogger femes!! harus weh.. femes siut ngan number of follower yg cecah 5 figure... blink blink~~!! hekhek.. maka ako pn terasa nk pendown la kononnya... ceyttt !!

Penah kt FB ako, ako post ahhh suda dpt hadiah tahun baru.. (late awal muharam..heheheh bru la gak tu)... a macbook pro.. waakakak malu siut... nk guna pn

ndak reti... i ni rabun IT skit.. tp sgt la suka n perlu ada benda2 gadget2 nih..

sbb cam rasa hensem ako akan hilang stengah klau ako tak ber gadget... gaya harus penting!!!! nk canang muka lawa tk mampu.. canang accessories pn jadi la~~~

ahhh benda alah ni di post directly ke Centre ako... DHL la..

Time sampai tu..mak aihhhhh ako kecoh satu lab... my baby was here!!!! ngeh... maka wat la aksi2 geng babun yg tak tentu hala..

Eh.. ingat senang ker nk guna lappy yg berOS totally different dari windows... first few weeks tu cam ako bertambah stress sbb ako tak reti guna.. tak senonoh.. ako pn p la pinjam buku2 All About MAC and bagai.. baca idak? of coz tak... hekhek..

Till now masih blum dinamakan lagi c koleksi baru ako nih... hmmm cam nk bg nama Mek ja... tp c kurang nyengat ja..

Pastu nasib la kazen ako yg super celik dalam segala benda yg dia sentuh telah mengajar beberapa tricks konon magic.. berjaya juga la dpt claps yoyo dari sekalian kawan... so skrang ako dh semakin ok ngan lappy br nih.. n I'm lovin it~

p/s: ako dh berjaya force diriku sendiri tuk tulis 2 artikel n ngehhh dah hantar kot ke Dewan Kosmik... hoping to hear good news from them.. klau accepted.. lega la sat poket ako tuk 2 bulan... aihhh~~~

2 Jan 2010

Orang new year.. ako pn kalut nak new year.. sedangkan new year tak bawa pn maksud apa-aa kat ako.. neither any day in the calender brings any meaning to me.. except for the day start puasa la...!! waduhh~~ pusing... hehehe... ahhh puasa belum ganti lagi..

“stress” dh menjadi perkataan fav ako dah.. ntah la dari mana la ako g celup perkataan nih.. rerasanya ntah.. tak dapat lak ako nak recall..

Hari ni adik hitamku balik.. hehehe semenjak kami 2 2 dah makin mendewasakan umur kami nih.. rasa cam makin rapat lak.. in terms of tak mencarut n menjerit aah... heheh walaupun ako masih ska bagi nama tak senonoh kt dia.. hehehe tapi alhamdulillah dia relax ja.. hehehe... dlu shop ngan dia antara perkara paling menyakitkan jiwa dan raga ako... he is demmmm fussy when it comes to what he wants to wear... pastu skrang he actually asked for my opinion.. !!!! ako apa lagi.. merepek la ikut sedap mata.. heheh of coz i make sure he looks good in watever i suggested.. heheh cam zaman barbie lak eh main dress up org.. and they pay themself.. hehehe

Ahhh skrang dah mula mengajar balik dah.. masa mula2 before nak g.. harem siut ako malas nk kuar rumah... berguling2 n berpening-pening ako.. tapi bila dah start mengajar.. cam nk saja ako bw student tu balik rumah n ajar dia sampai pandai.. hehehe... kesian kt anak ako nnt. mesti dapat mental depression.. ill make him/her do maths everyday!!padan muka.. hekhekhek~~!!

Dilema

Ako d crossroad again... susah btul jadi org cam ako... unable to make correct decision and follow ja whatever come across yang ako rasa cam best... Labwork yang tak progress ke mana.. tetiba disuruh lak tukar tajuk..whoaaa~~~~ kena lak reject from recent interview... hmmm bukan ako berharap pn.. sbb nnt kena wat benda yang ako tak minat sangat...tapi again and again nih kena reject... 2 kali ok for the govt post!! mula la ako tertanya-tanya nih...ngan swasta senang lak ako dpt cilok masuk... Ada org penah bagi hint... try pkai tudung tgk.. senang kot dpt... alaa bukan tak mo pkai.. tp for sure klau pkai nnt ako buka gak... sat la.. nnt btul2 ako dpt feel tu, ako pkai trus aah..walaupn time tu ako kt Korea ka, kt US ka.. (heheheh brangan siut~~)

tipu la klau ako kata ako bukan jenis bercita-cita besar... ako sgt ambitious... ako nk terbang tinggi dan jauh~~ tp current situation cam merestrictkan kan ja mimpi-mimpi ako.. Fellowship yg ntah disambung ntah tak... ishhh ishhh ishhh... nk dkt new year dah ni...

Ako dah janji pd diriku... ako kena kumpul duit tahun depan.. ako kena bekerja keras.. kena kumpul harta balik... semua kawan2 dah do sangat well ngan hidup depa... so ako dah tak boley travel for at least 1 year... d mana ako rasa cam impossible ja.. ni pn dah berpintal dah urat saraf ako tak dpt g jejalan n tersekat nafas ako sbb ako dah mula berjimat cermat tahap tak tentu hala.. dah tak boley shop cam dlu dah...

Hopefully start new sem nih... things will get better la...ako nk:

1. upgrade belt ako.. 3 tahun blue... gila apa ka...
2. tulis lebih banyak artikel
3. kurang menonton TV
4. boley bermain at least 1 lagu pekak pn jadi la...
5. continue menghafal vocab vocab bahasa korea...
6. kurang melaser!! (mulut ako mmg kadang-kadang sial)
7. Nak g tgk concert and teater..!!!

Suma pekerjaan melara~~ ishhh