Red Chopsticks' Ink

Contengan Petang

2012-01-26T02:59:00.000-08:00

Ako tak pandai nk susun ayat mega-best.. but the quote below sangatlah reflect what i felt during and after the long trip.

“Dengan berjalan dan bermusafir tu memang banyak sangat benda kita boleh belajar. Belajar dari kawasan dan persekitaran, belajar daripada orang yang dijumpai sepanjang permusafiran, belajar daripada ujian sepanjang perjalanan, belajar daripada orang yang menemani.

Sekarang baru faham. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan nota-nota muzik atau warna-warna. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar harta dan kerjaya. Hidup bukan hanya diertikan dengan kejar cita-cita. Bahagia bukan hanya diertikan dengan senyuman ketawa riang gembira.”

*Living here for the hereafter*

-Hlovate. Contengan Jalanan-

Lost and Found

2012-01-25T06:16:00.000-08:00

“Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cubaan kepadamu , dengan sedikit ketakutan, kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan dan berikanlah berita gembira kepada orang-orang yang sabar” (Surah al-Baqarah : 155)

Cer disebalik surah ni adalah… jeng jeng.. hari tu as usual ako buat inspection dekat Qbay sbb tak tahan kan sejuk dalam lab (aha!!!).. dah dekat sejam ako pusing2… then tetiba teringat nk teraba mencari ticket parking.. maka proses molesting every single pocket on me and in the bag was conducted in the middle of the shopping complex.. guess what.. ta daaa.. tak dak.. dalam minda dah nmpk dah RM 30 melayang.. waduhh… cam ralat.. if tak hilang.. duit tu top up skit bley bli bag baru (saw one in Material.. lalalala)..

terkeluar topic sat.. Recently mind ako cam kerap struck ngan hadis2 simple and kata2 hikmah.. The anger replacement of loosing RM30 was: “Allah tidak akan membebani seseorang dengan ujian yang melebihi kemampuan umatnya.”

Thinking that there might be worst test then that.. ako pn beristifar and.. heheheh continue cuci mata!!! ahahaha.. lingering around the book stores deciding what to spent on the recent RM 200 voucher.. on the way back, ako pn drop by la check toilet just in case i dropped there while doing my ‘business’. Tettt negatif.. pasrah

climaxnya.. ako nmpk sorang officer dia (not that he was good looking or what..) tgh lepak ngan cleaner.. and camna ntah.. instead of paying attention to what he wore.. mata ako terpacak nmpk something on his hand… a parking ticket!!!! ako pn dengan tanpa segan silu..

Me: Excuse me.. is that a parking ticket?  Him: haa jumpa dekat lantai.. u punya?

Me: boleh tgk? (tarikh, time..sebiji!!) .. ya la ini saya punya.. boleh saya ambil?

Him: ha..

Me: gaya exaggerate abih terima kasih ako flashing the card everywhere.. demm i was soooo grateful at that time…!!

Yg teruknya.. right after that ako nearly like: “ishhh RM 30 nih leh p bli beg nih”.. gegeg tapi tersadung dekat escalator and tersedar.. hekhekhek…

We are tested in every single way with or without us realizing them and in light or hard manner. It is our reaction towards the test that matters. and both ayat above really work on me that time.. and i am again grateful.. Alhamdulillah..

Wordless

2012-01-23T21:04:00.001-08:00

It must has taken so much effort to constantly look up upon yourself (praise yourself).. nevertheless some people just do it effortlessly..

Away and away again

2012-01-08T03:54:00.000-08:00

sabar-sabar.. post ni tiada kena mengena dengan travel tips ka hapa.. not in the mood yet to upload any pic/photo.. (partly due to the internet constrain kan.. laptop tak bawa.. and i am indeed very dreadful without him and dont have much distractions were brought along either.. should have stuff more books in my bag..).. lucky had that small ipod with few e-book saved in it.. so literally i finished 3 e-books during that few days away.. chick-flick again i'm afraid..^0^..

Learn a lot during the trip (still learning and discovering new things from time to time).. to open one heart to appreciate the nature and everything around us.. away from family and comfy zone did the magic on strengthening the inner will power and surviving ability..

p/s: gua dah start miss home.. hopeless me.. cam ni kononnya nk stay oversea? my foot!!!

Ako dan Malam

2011-12-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Hari ni ako tak leh tido.. dah dekat jam 2.30 am dah.. barangkali late night dkt lab dah turn biological clock ako upside down.. so ako pn sambung la pembacaan buku Hlovate: Contengan Jalanan yang baru ako sentuh 2 hari lepas.. Perjalanan menccari Tuhan tagline nya.. cm biasa... bait-bait kata dia sentiasa berkesan dekat jiwa ako..

Half way.. ako pn berwuduk.. dan kerja kan solat sunat.. Ceteknya kan ilmu ako kan.. nk buat solat sunat apa pn ako tak tau... istiqarah pn tak tau.. last2 ako niat solat sunat ja... Macam dalam penulisan dalam naskah-naskah buku.. solat pada larut malam tenang rasanya.. pabila sujud.. rasa keinsafan yang tak terhingga.. ako cuba cari feel tu... tak dapat.. tak kusyuk maybe..

ntah macam mana.. ako capai la tafsir berhabuk yg lama dah ako tak buka.. dengan segala qudrat ako habiskan surah yassin.. punya kalut pay attention pada tajwid sampai ako lupa nk hayati terjemahannya... skali lagi.. tiada feel yg digambarkan dalam bahan bacaanku.. maybe dah tepu dah tompok hitam dkt hati ako nih.. nk cucikannya semula bukan perkara yang mudah..

"klau org kata nk buang tatu di kulit tu sakit, nk buang tatu dosa di hati lagi perit" Hlovate

Bila ako berhenti dan berfikir

2011-12-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

kadang-kadang ako tertanya-tanya.. apa yang ako cari dalam hidup nih.. alhamdulillah serba serbi ako ada.. tapi kenapa ako tetap rasa hollow? perasan ni dia hinggap sekali skala.. kadang-kadang time di lautan manusia yang ramai.. feel ni strike.. kadang2 bila ako sorang-sorang.. ako mula buat deep thinking..

time ako paling tenang skali time ako matrik.. time tu la ako mula berjinak dengan solat jemaah dan bacaan yassin. Time tu rasa jiwa ako tenang ja.. walaupun mulut suit ako still tak dak insurans.. kekadang ako tertanya gak ngan diri ako sendiri.. dah tau apa yang kosong tu, kenapa ako still remain ala hippies camni? dlu time ako matrik.. ako rasa cam hidayah dan sinar keinsafan yang ako terima nih insya’Allah akan berkekalan sampai bebila.. ako salah.. sbb.. inner ako masih belum kejab ilmu rohani ako.. ako bukan jahil.. cuma ako masih dalam fasa penafian.. ako tau and ako percaya dengan rukun agama.. ako tau ako paling filled bila ako dekat nganNya dengan full focus.. sialkan.. setiap kenyataan ako ada ‘tapi’.. sbb tu ako kata ako masih dalam denial..

ako tak sure brapa lama ako going to be like this.. ajal maut tak kenal umur, jantina… ako tak tau bila time ako.. tapi ako.. ako tak mo that hollow feeling.. ako cuba.. insya’Allah… mungkin ako tak sempat filled it before ako chow.. tapi.. ako akan cuba… slow slow.. sebab ako juga percaya.. Allah sangat sayang kat ako.. sbb tu ako ada kehidupan ako sekarang.. Ako sayang Dia juga.. Ya Allah… kau ampunkanlah dosa hamba mu ini.. teruslah naungi ako di bawah hidayah mu.. wlaupun berkali-kali ako membelakangi Mu.. ako may not be pengikutmMu yang baik seperti rakan taulan ku.. tapi.. ako tetap bersyukur.. sbb ako sedar.. kasihMu.. tetap bersamaku.. ya Tuhan.. terima kasih.. Alhamdulillah…

late hang out

2011-12-06T10:34:00.001-08:00

Checking out from the lab.. 2.50am... rushing away before the clock reached 3.. gegegeg masih tahyul.. ^^

Ako. Langit. Laut. Bumi (Part 1)

2011-11-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

Along the way to kl I was accompanied by the full moon lighting up the whole journey keeping me AWAKE!! Even zikr could drive me to sleep.. I was blinking the whole way paying attention to the diver who drive slower than my EX5.. Cermat maybe.. my route to LCCT was:

Penang (Plusliner-RM 35.20) [8.00pm] --> Old KTM station (supir diraja fetched.. ^^) [1.00 am]--> KL central (Star Shuttle – RM 9) [3.15 am] -->LCCT [4.30am]

While the bus was stopping at Simpang Pulai's rest house, I was scanning the whole area from the upper level of Plusliner bus, the movement of living and non living objects are somehow in rhythmic order.. Cars, lorries, bikes, human from different gender and races and even counties were moving in such a way that they don't collide with each other but been full filling own and each other's needs.

Fiza came and fetched me and actually saved me from being tormented when I was at the mamak stall nearby the bus station. Despite of being scared as i was feeded by pairs of eye from every corner of the restaurant… cant blame them.. what was this girl doing at 2 am in the morning with huge backpack and only asking for a cup of milo and refuse to eat anything (helloooo!! pass eating time ler~~)

Hanging out at McD Kl Central at wee hour has long been forgotten.. Remembered during my younger days, hanging out with the geng around Bukit Bintang area and the McD was the pit stop before we catch the first train back to uni. mengimbau lagik~~ As usual, nothing from mcD that stir my appetite.. (again.. it was passed eating time!!) So we chatted and keeping up with each other's life... It's me actually been keeping with their life.. There's nothing much to keep with me pn...~_~

Bus ticket to LCCT can be purchased at the lower floor of kl central but we have to board the bus at the first floor.. The first bus to depart after the last bus (12 am) is at 2.45 am.. Cm poyo jer.. The place was under construction kot... And to my surprise.. It's Thursday morning and the bus is nearly full house!! What a crowd to board the so-called cheap flight. 3.15am sharp and the bus moved towards the airport.

There are few bus services from KL central to LCCT: SkyBus (Red Colored), Star Shuttle (Yellow).. Try to avoid star shuttle.. the whole bus was shuttling the whole journey!!! Hadoii~~~

Sky Bus & Star Shuttle (similar schedule)

Besides KL central --> LCCT, Star Shuttle provides:

1) Ipoh --> LCCT

2) Batu 3 --> LCCT

3) Puduraya --> LCCT (recommended. So u don’t need to wake your whole phone list to send you to KL central)

4) Setiawan --> LCCT

Or to save up some time, try KLIA Express (28 minute only) but with limited operational hour (5.30 am – 12.30am) and… u need to carry your bag into the transit bus that will drive u to the komuter station.. then again.. carry the heavy bag board the train.. and again.. out of the train.. save some energy and hassle basle thingy folks!!! unless there’s some time restrain and light luggage, other than that.. (thought there's a potter to help you with the bag.. but.. ishhh) Those buses will be sufficient.. U don’t want to start your journey grumbling kan..~~

High and Low in Borneo

2011-11-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

Yeayyyy... Big Bang representing the Asia Pacific region won the Best Worldwide Act on MTV EMA beating other well known artists including Britney Spears!!!!! Jerit... which also means... another millions of screaming fans will be sharing TOP with me.. Haiihhh~~~~ 싫어!!! 그 남자 내꺼!!! (^0^)V

빅뱅!!!!! 축하해!!

Too early to decide whether this a trash holiday or its an event that i am going to annually attend it.. So.. bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. any info about the event, view here Laili Basir . Just in case suddenly i am MIA, call him!!!!! ^^

Karang Karangan

2011-11-03T01:29:00.000-07:00

If i were to categorize which generation possessed the highest confident level, the honor will definitely goes to BABY. They will fearlessly cry their lung out without keeping track on the time and place. And due to this fearless attitude, they will always getaway with whatever their want.. See… how confidence they are in expressing their thought although one might require some skill to do the interpretation. Like the lyric goes: You said it best when you said nothing at all…

Time and life changed us differently. Some of these babies are the hot shot in a corporate company and some are unfortunately ill with social disease and stuff. But all of our life started as a cute little confident baby.. cliché huh..

Those who knows me will agree i am not plain.. not that plain.. but i am more to moderate.. moderate both physically and mentally.. i just happened to know this and that.. and being recognized sometimes by who and who… and ive been like this ever since i hit whoever that was blocking my way (that was so during my jahiliah time!!) So i don’t have this huge turning point in my life when suddenly i am from this person changed to the other multi-fold improved individual.

Confidence has been nurtured in us from our surrounding. My pa made me stand by the Penang Bridge and snap photo when i can still clearly remember how gila babi scared i am. So i constantly challenge myself from time to time and confidence has tag along piece by piece. I may not being able to shot editorial pic or walk on the runaway (Hanis Zalikha!! U know how jealous the female and shemale are on your achievements!!!! TT_TT).. but then...we the moderate people still have some moments in our life where we accidently took good picture and are occasionally confident tak tentu hala walking on our flat/heels on the street (p market pn kira hokey!!!)..

In my case.. Confidence does not really change me but it shapes/molds me into who i am today. Confidence makes you see world differently and have your own perspective view without being too intimidated by people’s possible criticizes on you. Because you know that if they don’t accept your thoughts/idea, at least you burppp them out and you are heard rather than sitting around the corner and not doing anything because you are too shy or quite. I always believe it’s better something than nothing at all.

I’ve read on one of the blogger story on this title. I don’t feel sorry for her.. yet i feel proud of her.. she found it and her life has changed ever since.. Her past is just a stepping stone for her before she’s out of the cocoon. So those out there.. don’t wait for the cocoon to break.. Tear it!! No shield is needed as long as you believe.. God is with you.. ALWAYS.. If you think that you are doing something right.. Go ahead and accomplish your goal.. You just have to believe in your self..

That you CAN.. you WILL and you WANT

Acknowledgemet

2011-10-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

Sir : Since u've been training pomsae, i expected more from a pomsae athlete...

remarks: ahhhh it sounded so music to my ear... ahakz... being acknowledge as one even though everyone knows i can't remember most of the patterns and daaaaa i hate reverse swing.. ..^0^..

Should Stop trying

2011-10-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure about you but i do have this tendency to impress people around me with whatever skills that i posses. Even there are times where i’ve done some chores merely to let people notice about me. What a shame.. never learnt the word “sincerity” huh!!! the travelling thing was started off as a plot to wow people until i fell deeply in love with it.. addiction.. really hard to kick off addiction... though uploading the pics are one of the best thing followed by the impressive comments by the viewers… ahhhh sial ako kan.. tak guna…!!!

Trust me.. it is very tiring doing so.. (see… i used present tense!! which means at this very age… i still accommodate myself with such act.. sometime… pathetic kan??) but u cant help.. since i can't vow people with my beauty, what’s left is hard work… getting myself busy here and there… so u want to say that i’m hypocrite yer? that why just i can't act like myself.. or be myself?? why bother to put on such effort??

these are my excuses (if u prefer it to be called that way)…

1. i’m hell a busy body that like to land my hand in nearly everything within my reach…

2. Everything starts off with routine work aspired by my dear mother… wash this.. wash that… take this.. take that.. do this and that... Eventually requests have evolved to habit… so i practically moved myself to the chores first before this bad lingering thoughts creeping over my mind…. so it is sincere in the beginning and the uninvited intention follows..

p/s: so people who felt that i am always buat bagus or belagak baguih tu… think what u like.. if that satisfy u then go ahead… i am still me and u are still you…

The moment

2011-10-18T23:54:00.000-07:00

Couldn't help but falling for this pic..

wordless

2011-10-14T07:22:00.000-07:00

silly isn't it..

You don't cry when you are committing sins...

yet...

You are hurt by simple verbal facts..

old n lame

2011-10-06T22:19:00.000-07:00

Lama la plak ako tak berblog… not that i am extreme busy or what… harus aahhh ako stalk abis blog2 fav ako kan.. tak lengkap kitaran dan putaran hidup kiranya tiada sajian2 ayat-ayat gelak tuk ako start hari ako kan… cam effortless ja sesetengah org membuat lawak kt blog depa… “u need talent to be funny” hokey!! and ako love funny notes or quotes… this lazy cow cannot read heavy material… she’ll drain all her mental juice away and fell asleep immediately though she’s served herself with thick aroma coffee..

p/s: a little angry with herself lately for unable to control her anger… should she enjoys another holiday???

sorrow runs deep

2011-09-15T06:13:00.000-07:00

People often said: do not get discourage by failure… I would say: Do not be carried away by discouragement. Hell a lie if u said when u failed on a task, u will head up and pay no attention to the sorrow.

It’s like being slapped heavily to the wall once u couldn’t complete your mission well though u have the strategy laid perfectly well in your mind. All things went on so well but the result turns out to be weird and unexpectedly bad. To top up the cream, you have constant critics pointing this and that for improvement. (0-0)??

p/s: The main subject of my story is: i cooked and i failed. i am angry and frustrated but i think i’ll still cook.

the sound of silence

2011-08-17T10:38:00.000-07:00

i am almost sure that most of us view meditation as perlu ker?? if so.. then why people pay big money for yoga class which highly claimed to be effective as a medium to improve health?? why us the not-willing-to-pay for an hour of this breathing control and body relaxing class has lost by not practicing the mentioned discipline?

i was approached by my father once on meditating each time before i sleep nearby exam period to avoid me spelling out all the chemical formula during my sleep.. but that was years ago..

on one of the book that i purchased lately "100 ways to motivate yourself" by Steve Chandler (bare in mind.. u dont need to have the latest book on the shelf to suit your reading appetite especially if in the critical financial situation like mine.. TT_TT)..

on one of the sub topic: "Don't just do something.. sit there"..

1. "the best way to truly understand the world is to remove yourself from it".
2. "Be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet"
3. " you'll hear the side of you that you rarely hear. It's the side that makes the universe understandable."

i tried with my eye closed, trying to get myself some sleep before the sahur time after for nearly 2 hours lying awake on the bed.. what i did is the modified version of my own meditation since i often have millions of thing come across me from lab work to kitchen (that is a long stretch of journey hokey!!!)

1. I repeatedly took deep and long breath in and out.
2. since i still saw images and hear sound, so repeatedly i told myself: Don't think about anything... empty your mind...

slowly.... i was drifted away.. and i had a great 3 hours sleep better than 7 hours of dreamy black out...

plans

2011-08-14T02:36:00.000-07:00

Since im admitting heavily that im useless and functionless during the fasting period.. i'm taking a drastic measurement... Labwork will be conducted mainly at night (huhh.. cari alsan nk skip terawih.. ^^). Which also means i'll be absent from the lab during day time and catch everything up after break fast.. unless something came up that need my heavy attention... haihh~~~~

My reading quest lead to...

2011-08-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

Of all the books i bought, i’ve started off with The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. With 8 siblings named according to alphabetical order, the story of the Bridgestones is very entertaining. And to my horror, i found out that the author has laid 8 different stories for each of the member. Aha.. So the predictable me eventually hunted for all the 8 stories.. Nonetheless, being wise at my stage of financial status, i couldn’t help but opted for ebook. So i downloaded the rest of the stories from 4shred.com.. can u believe that? 4shared not only hosted music!! Even most of the latest novel can be downloaded from there.. Given that you are up to reading them from the screen instead of flipping through the milky pages..

Okay.. i’m being a bit sentimental nowadays when i started to go for classical romance than thriller (i stop reading thriller for quite some period…).. and why was i being this position. simple. I enjoy reading people’s happy ending because i don’t know what’s laid ahead of me.. and why i choose classical? instead of current account? Because women of those time has yet too be too blunt and upfront.. It is somehow romantic to be under the charge of CAPABLE man. ahakz..

Yet,i am the true example that contradict of what I’ve just said.. pathetic huh… You couldn’t help to like what you are but there are time where u wish u are less complicated and just be what majority women are supposed to behave and feel. Fall in love, tie a knot, bear some cute little thing in your womb then tadaaaaa live the life that you are supposed to live.. sound easy huh??

the execution might not agree with the theory.. Especially when u have a piece of restless soul that hunger for more than to be in a commitment. You envy the laughter of a happy family yet you foresee yourself in other part of the world doing the thing that u might regret of not doing.. It might not be bad thing dedicating your life to your family.. my mother once said she has no regret on getting married at a young age now seeing all her kids have grown up and she’ll trade nothing in the world for such privilege… (That is when we don’t drive her nuts by pulling worst that monkey prank)..

I don’t know where will the destiny lead… let just leave them to God and collect all the guidance and clues down the journey.. I believe that one will figure out when, where and what along the way… till then.. don’t stop hoping and praying..

Happy Ramadhan everyone.. may this holy month be filled with joy and keinsafan.. (ahakzz… i did skip all the kissing and bla bla bla part during the reading okay!!!!)

Membaca!! baca lah~~

2011-08-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

So.. i've just bought 6 books with great price... ahaaa dah gebang abis dah dekat FB on my newly acquired and discovered skill of bargaining.. 0_0... actually ive been the loyal customers for years.. dia tak bg murah saja la kan...!!!

the scene at the second hand book store:

Uncle : Take any book u want.. uncle give u cheap price..

Me : I am looking for classical novel

Uncle : How about this?

(he was holding the whole stack of.. omg-if-my-mother-found-out-that-i-read-them-i'll-be-dead.. its the whole collection of i think is Anna James or im not too sure about the author...one of the book titled "Wicked" and the books are with 18+ rated cover... i think i somehow blushed that very moment...)

Me : ahh that is too heavy to me.. 0_O

So i got back with 2 books from Judith Mcnaught, 1 from Julia Quinn and 1 from Johanna Lindsay, 1 from L. M. Montgomery and 1 motivational book (kononnya kan rasa bersalah kan..)

so here goes my social life.. day time in the lab.. night time in the room or in the lab with them...

...end...

i told myself

2011-08-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

repeatedly tell myself: i want to be intelligent... i want to be wise...

the only solution i can think off is: reading...

the only thing i like to read is: novel...

the genre that i like to read: classical and thriller..

i'll just have to accept that i am born to be : moderate..

People said novel lovers are dreamer

2011-07-26T00:49:00.000-07:00

So.. i was away from blogging for like months??? was uptading FB status non-stop that exhaust my idea of writting.. what makes me write today? a story that was told to me earlier in the morning..

signn~~

being surrounded by individuals having various defination of relationships has actually freak me out with their issues and problems that they faced.. although the end of the day, they said it is a journey worth of going through when they see their counterpart, their heart melt.. everything back to normal.. and the cycle starts again~~ some arguments eventually strengthen the bond between 2. some will slowly reveal the real skin..

I do not favor situation where defination/explanation is required in everything.. Let's elaborate both pro and cons.. If we failed to stand firm on our thought/principe in the begining of a relationship, the partner may take our 'dislike' lightly and there's where the fire will start to trigger.. meanwhile, if we need everything to be explained and arranged as what we wish, then a doll (Barbie / Kent) may be a suitable partner kan? Haa... so how? ntah...

maybe all come back to the word "maturity" and "logic".. If u know u r partner in such a inconvenient situation, think logic.. should u act the way u r planning to act.. will that make u fake? i would personally said NO.. that will potray u as a mature person... as an individual with a logic mind.. of coz u can doubt on my way of thinking since im not in the same puddle mud or should i say quicksand?? ..^^.. seeing some of the couples behave unreasonable has disturbed me... is it so hard to tolarate (both ways please!! not only one party) in relationship? kan it is claimed that couple are so much in love with each other.. serabut sajok!!

Novel lovers are dreamers with many theories that hardly applied in the reality... well.. I am a dreamer and a novel lover.. and i seek for "They live happily ever after" ending.. so.. what's the rush? ~_~

Bicara Serius

2011-06-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

I just finished "Rooftop Rent" by Hlovate. A writer that i came to love after first encounter with Tunas (borrowed and later bought from Nadia.. thanks!!!).. No denial on the talent of this i assume young write.. (my age maybe? she's a real mystery that no one seems to know much about her except that she's a medic student studied oversea maybe in Uni Arbadeen and from Perak.. ahakz.. dasar stalker.. lol..).. why is anything from her is in the top selling list?

1. She injected humor in her writing. Ako ska gelak klau lawak okay.. and it was..!!

2. She speaks perfect english.. not her.. her characters...!! gila.. ako pn celup banyak ayat dari dia... termalu sat...

3. She never failed to slip in religious messages in her stories. She starts with Korn, Metallica and all the i assume to be noisy music to Hijjaz, Raihan and the list goes on... and she makes the transition proses looks hard yet possible.. i listen to them once awhile... but was seduced more by Kpop songs... mode: kena insaf nih!!!

4. She shows that u still can rock even though you are properly covered up. ^^ (dangg... i was hit!! who who who!!!~_~)

Although im not in the position to talk about the 4th reasons kan.. but it doesnt hurt to listen to someone from the sideline.. controversy nih!! heheheh... naaa ive been that stage before.. and still do once awhile during special occasions (with folded sleeve?? pannggg... sakit weh!!).. hmmm correct me if im wrong (which is extremely high in probability!!)... I agreed, we should live moderately. But.. i still feels when one are committed on being moderate, one should not loose the personality that one posses or one should enhance their inner personality more (with line drawn ler~~).

There no competition on proving who is sempoi or tak.. Im not asking you to exhibit yourself: "weh!! lai lai... ako dh hijrah and daaaa im still hot as eva!!" dig yourself a small whole.. meh ako tlg timbus...!! What i noticed is that, underneath the cover (dont take the word in sarcastic manner okay.. it means more than a piece of fabric la.. i was trying to make the sentence simple .. okay...hit me if my language is this bad... toinnggg) lies hugh potential in being better in the public but is being shuhhh away by the concept of : i am contributing but im invincible... So u know that you are representing the hugh committees out there to show the non-believers that you are still parallel with the "ohh im being hit again"... and your choice of attire doesnt effect the your personal skills in dealing with daily encounters..

We will always assume that time will be the medium to deliver that we are as efficient as "again? sakit sakit sakit!!".. U might assume that people will knows some how or do they need to know? ...But babes.. if you are able to shine them with your personality why not leaving good early impression to people? Give them the instant creepy confident aura buzzzzz grrrr guuuuu ggiiiiiii...for what? Do it for yourself..

U.. u.. and u!!! out there... Be confident.. Raise your chin when u talk or deliver your msg.. look at the person you are talking.. u can choose to count the pimples scar if you are not keen enough to look ahakzz directly in the eye coz u might dinggg juling2 itik like me... ~_~.. just dont look at people lips... its annoying!!

When you want something... please please... cant u see im making the cute cacat bunny face asking you to: put aside the extreme shyness.. work for it...dont be afraid and dont put others' thoughts in your way too much (u need to listen to advice of coz... jgn jd kera luku... !!!but listen also means digest.. and think.. does it suit you? is this what u want? will you break any law if you stand still with your decision? the wise might not always right you know...we are human after all...maybe the style wasnt that suitable for u..maybe u'll be making the correct move by listening to yourself.. action might not bring happiness.. but there's no happiness without action kan?)

The saying goes: People with goals succeed because they know where they are going..

my saying adapted from that novel: Being noticeable or invincible.. U choose..

coretan coretan

2011-06-23T04:10:00.000-07:00

When people are so proud of them being out spoken, i was started to get terrified with me making verbal statements that were sometimes a bit out of control. Hopefully i dont press their buttons too many times.. they are adult after all.. at this age, instead of receiving orders, we would prefer softer approach... big people d wat!!! But hey.. if u want people t treat you like an adult, do present yourself as one... fair?

Music and us

2011-06-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

How do you view music? what i mean is: what music is to you?

1. Some might absorb all the energy from the music to full filled their inner needs.

2. Some enjoy the meaningful lyrics behind each song and co relate them with their stories (photo and music both tell thousand of stories... depends on how u interpret them)..

3. Some enjoy the harmony of instruments that make up the whole song..

4. Some inspire/motivate themselves by listening to certain genre of music..

Me? As long as there's a manly vocal behind with not to0 metal/heavy/noisy sounds will do for me.. (^^)V.... never a big fan of female voice.... Music to me is a distraction. A helpful distraction from the surrounding as a soft approach on isolating myself from the crowd. Music to me is a concentration mechanism that allows me to be on one mind and think... Music to me is a stress reduction tool that is in the need when I'm nervous or angry or tired...

Music is a combination of melody and words brings us far beyond our imagination if we close our eye.. blank our mind... and listen... sometimes we've done too much talking that we failed to listen... so peeps.. relax yourself and listen... indulge yourself in the beauty of music... and zzzzz.. tidooo... zzzz

test tube and time

2011-06-04T08:08:00.000-07:00

I always stumble across events in my daily life that can reflect on how things works in real the real stage.. for example.. i was drying a few of my samples with nitrogen gas (to eliminate all the liquid before the sample to be injected in instrument for further analysis)..

the first badge are 6 samples that i left for drying and i went some for doing this and that.. came back after 5 hours.. and there were still remaining liquid in the test tube.. another occasion was i sat around the device and been monitoring the thing from time to time and i manage to dry the sample with the same flow rate as previous in less than 2 hours.. suddenly something strike me (as i was again reading novel while waiting...and quotes.. inspiration just flows.. ayyyy the power of reading kononnya!!!)..

Lets fictionalized the test tube as the person.. The time as time... i think u might have the hint on where's im heading to.. !! heheheh okay... isnt it more effective if u are paying your extra attention to someone dear to you (it can be your spouse and especially your children) within short period of time rather than leaving them behind with someone else and you are on other task...

i am actually pointing out more to parenting... sit and teach your children (if you are able to)... listen to them... be with them... talk to them (do more on listening!!!).. they might reach a rebellious era that will stimulate your nerve frequently but hey!!! you've been there before... they'll be okay if you dont press them too much.. be easy on them doesnt mean giving in too much... there's always good to be wise..

p/s: i was in the dark.. not knowing how to continue this piece of junk...but felt that there's necessity to write.. may be the novel reading thingy is drawing out all the motherly instinct in me.. what do u expect.. i only read love story with happy ending which certainly end with them living happily ever after and with kids.. ayy... a random statement: i definitely make a better mother than a wife...

Ridiculous

2011-05-24T22:45:00.000-07:00

I dreamt last night.. Absurd dream..

I was so pissed in the dream when someone I think is somehow involved with me said after I put down my phone: “ Siapa tu? laki ka ppuan?” that I decided to end whatever involvement we had.

I will be glad if I were to be asked “Is everything OK?” rather than some random jealousy words. See how I react and im not even involve in anything yet!!!

pecah

2011-05-06T02:26:00.001-07:00

On the numerous encounter with love-based novels.. i came across this one word that i found hmm should i say interesting? Crush...

Bull shit aah if u said u never come across such feeling.. Urban dictionary define crush as "it may grow into true loveor your feelings might wear away so don't jump into conclusions and mistake a silly crush for love"...

yayyy... why am i raising this issue again? because i find its ok to have crush to someone even though you or the other parties are occupied. u cant stop yourself from attracting to someone in that nick of time when you realize that zapppp he/she is so interesting (define your own "interesting").. attraction is similar to magnet.. what differentiate them from each other is magnet attracted to just any opposite charge of it's... while human attracted to certain criteria, style, look, background... these subjective things are beyond words to describe...

you'll find yourself being extra alarmed and curious in picking up details about your crush.. some with courage will initiate the first move... some will just be in the corner and watch him/her silently... what is actually great about crush for someone soooo free is having a target to hunt (virtually)... yayyyy in other word.. "stalk".. everything is made possible with the internet... and with people berlumba-lumba posting up their latest photos and status.. lg senang kan... you'll might end up disappointed knowing that his/her is taken or maybe his/her is not as what you pictured in your mind... but those adrenalin rush was fun!!! ahakz.. but..please limit yourself as a civilized stalker... Do NOT down great yourself by interrupting your crush's life..

rewinding the old fav activity of mine: crushing and decrush in less than 1 week or maybe month.. ntah.. timeline is indeed very hard to keep track with... i think that's how i actually survive being single all these while.. (despite having great friends around.. give credit to yourself if u think u fall on this category!!! ^^).... it was fun imagining the days we might spend with each other if it just happen to develop to further stage... but be real.. crush is like an interesting subject to dissect... you wanted to explore as much as you can about your subject.. in silent (i prefer this)... after you learn everything that you want about your subject and without him noticing (sometime i wish i am noticed!! but demmm am to plain to be visible..)... then the feeling just died off... after you found the next crush.. ahahaha or the crush is no longer lingering around your mind.. that's why... "feel" is an extremely unpredictable adjective...

so... those out there with commitments... don't blame yourself if u have crush towards anyone... you just need to learn how to neutralize the crush.... how to control those feeling so that it wont effect your relationship... no one said it is easy to do so... you need time and full consciousness.. let the feeling flow... it's like the wind... that will blow upon you and chill u up and next.. its gone...

p/s: one thing im curious to know... how to know that you crush has crush towards you

Ako nk balik awal hari ni

2011-05-05T00:53:00.000-07:00

Once a month when your on red flag period... even tiny little thing will shake your whole day of... and i am sangat emotionally unbalanced... !!

Enjoy Your Life

2011-04-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

No matter how far we fall off the right track, there are always moments that seems to call us back.. i dont know how to put it in words.. but you'll feel this sudden urge to grab a religious book, to listen to religious song like nasyid or others depending on which genre you prefer... (instead of the korean song that i dont even know what the heck they are singing about if i dont google them for translation!!! but yet i played that over and over again...^0^...) or ahakz... And eventually u'll feel at eased... more relax and calm.. and filled...

so that is what actually happend to me... i started to collect few light reading motivational books that are religious based.. and i did read it.. currently on Enjoy Your Life by Dr Muhammad Abd Al-Rahman Al-'Ariff (tu dia..panjang nya nama dia...)... it can be consider as recreational book that ill grab before sleep or in the middle of not-knowing what to do... or maybe when im extremely empty.. the topics nearly covered what we normally encounter in life and what are the action that was taken by the Prophet when the same thing happens back during His time.. somehow it relates the current condition with the Prophet life.. the book is in English.. but dont worry.. the sentences construction are so simple and make the whole 3 pages text understandable...

among the topics are:

1.The heys to heart

2. Do not criticize

3. Gentleness only beautifies

4. If what you desire does not happen and the list goes on...

p/s: happy reading~~!! and enjoy??? @_@

Parfum

2011-04-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

Parfum... that's how the French pronounce perfume.. Im sure many of you out there are regular perfume user which means you dont leave the house without it on certain occasion (office, shopping, meetings or even to mamak's ? o_O). frankly speaking.... i love being around people who smells nice coz i stink!!! ahakzz... some might have certain smell that reminds us of them whenever we come across similar smell.. so trademark!! and im always a big fan of trade mark..And some of the you out there... i know your smell!!! even meters away.... ^0^...why the heck i sound so weird? no seual harassment intention here okay.. nada!!!

i grew up smelling so sweaty from all the sports event and running here and there for chores (walking slow me down!!).. and aha.. up to this age... never had proper perfume before.. its either i bought some weird body shop's perfume and ended up donating the to others coz i barely finish half of the bottle after 2 years from the year i purchase... ahakz... then my bestie introduce me to body mist from Victoria Secret. Love it!!! but again.. the whole 250 ml took me ages to move the level down by 5 ml..?? hehehe and due to the frequent free fall of the bottle... the pressing knob hehehehe kaput!! ayyyyyyy...

Then recently been a regular visitor to Badjenid . They sell most of the hot selling perfume in the market but in the form of essential oil with as low as RM 2 per small bottle (the small one). Not sure whether it should be considered as generic coz the effect is much longer compared to the one selling in Guardian and Watson. So i bought.. ahakz... 4 small different flavor perfume (macam boley makan)..

and 2 bigger one.. 1big + 2 small for each me n my mother...People might questioned: Why cant u just buy the original one? soooo pretender!! nk guna barang mahal.. tapi tak mampu (macam ako kesah klau nk kata pn!!!)... hmmmm per original bottle is around RM 200 ++... for someone that still in search of her 'smell' shouldnt i start with minimal amount? (so diplomatic me~~~yuckksss!!!).. so... people.. wish this stinggan girl luck so that she'll find a suitable one among them.. because..... I WANT TO SMELL NICE...

p/s: no intention of highlighting the background of the bottle... Ayyyy...

Morning

2011-04-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ive once posted this in my FB: the art of being a good guest is knowing when to leave.. So i was a guest at this lab for nearly 2 weeks. It was a major joy to me since im able to lay my hand on the wahh so up to date instrument and alhamdulillah i manage to familiarize myself with the system within 2 days.. so i was running my samples while listening to the newly acquired ipod (huhh is it too obvious to say that im a gadget freak?never use them to the maximum extend but having them is indeed a MUST!!!)... and finishing up some story books... (2 finished!!!^^)...

maybe my presence is so annoying or maybe i am thinking too much...am i? the not so busy instrument suddenly is under routine running.. it was left untouched previous week... and hint by hint were delivered.. the last day i was there... nearly towards the end of my run, routine run started... with extreme humbleness i asked when is so-and-so not using the machine.. so i would like to pinjam and use.... hmmm "not sure" is the answer.. down sat!!!... then this morning, i asked again... "It will be used the whole day for the lab's samples"... okay... now i am sad... just thought silver lining is showing itself on the dark cloudy weather... and when the heck am i going to finish my research if things like this keep on popping out..!!!

p/s: not much progress from my guitar practicing.. im an absolute tone deaf... and i still couldnt sing along while i strum... it doesnt sound right either...

Day 5

2011-04-07T07:46:00.000-07:00

Diary Merah...

camna ni... it has been 5 days my fingers being tortured.. but i still didnt hear any improvement.. the only thing yang ako dengar is ayat adik ako: Awat cam salah tune? huhh... bukan salah tune la.. ako tekan tak kuat n tak betul... cam rasa nk terbelah ja..waawawawa.. extreme torture nih... T_T...

Lupa Dunia

2011-04-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Diary merah...

i wasnt feeling well nowadays... in short.. my life is getting quite.. too quite... which bored me and when this thing happen, i'll be emotionally unstable... i'll get so depressed that i just look blankly at the tiles on the wall.. or be extremely quite and couldn't smile without forcing myself to do so...

the only thing excite me is my newly picked hobby... actually its a revised hobby... inches of dust being blowed away from c coklat that i owned since my second year in uni.. was instantly fell for it the moment i paid for it. But hardly touch it. took classes which i stop after realizing that i have absolutely zero talent in it. But as i watched another zero knowledge girl in it, manage to play a full song.. i was stimulated heavily by it. I'll force myself..no matter what.. even my fingers hurt so much as i force them on the string.. sialnya sakit.. napa la org lain rileks ja...

after obtaining the chords from inche-used-to-have-rambut-goli-goli-and been constantly-changing -his-hairstyle (million thanks weh).. so i've made my first step in exploring again it's world... familiarizing myself with all the chords first...

basically among the chords involve are : G D Em Dm E7 Am7 Am C Dsus4 Bm7 ... Susah gila weh.. camna la mamat-mamat n minah2 terror ni dapat goreng???? wahhhhhh fighting!!!!

p/s: was hoping to turn this small journey into beautiful sound and tune....although still couldn't differentiate and recognize each sound.. eh.. i think everything is out of tune loh!!

A slap on Me

2011-03-31T00:04:00.000-07:00

The stacks of dishes and cups were soaped and rinsed with the accompany of the non stop watery eyes alongside with the hingus from the nose. Couldn’t bare to face the crowd, I turned my back and continue to clean and wipe whatever necessary. Passer-by either stops and left the room or just ignores the tense atmosphere. Those cheap tears were wiped with the sleeve of my shirt. Why am I being so sensitive? Why am I acing like I never been scolded before? Why a fighter like me easily shed my tears over small thing?

It must been awhile since the last time I cried over something. I don’t blame them. Nothing they did was out of norm. It was me that lack is of knowledge. It was me that do less preparation when I have more than 2 weeks to prepare but I took it so easily. I expected to be ditch with multiple unanswered questions. But I didn’t expect I have such a low buffering system. Everything started to blurred after everyone left the room. It took nearly 1 hour for my breathing to stabilize and no longer paint my nose and face with red color.

I’m not sure whether it is normal or not to feel the sense of freshness along with the sudden emptiness after you cried. I felt relieved after the cried and vulnerable at the same time. Feel like I was broke into pieces and was glued back with holes and imperfection here and there. Short while after that, I grabbed a motivational book “Enjoy your life” by Dr Muhammad ‘Abd Al-Rahaman Al-‘Arifi. Few glance at the content and like a kid that was given a magic canvas. My soul was immediately filled with I’m not sure what. Words? No. It is something very content. Knowledge maybe. Or probably maturity. Ive been in a hard situation that neither anyone will like, and I fell hard on it and I gained something unexplained by words and I can smile on my silly act and aware that I shouldnt repeat the same mistake and the improvement will be the satisfactory solution temporarily.

God never left you alone in the dark. He’s with you even at your lowest sorrow state. Close you eye and you can feel the love. The presence of protection surrounding you embracing you and reminding you to stay strong because He’s with you.

A thought from the book:

When u climb a mountain, look at the top and not to the rocs that surround you. Make sure of where you step as you climb and do not leap in case you loose your footing.

I am a beg-pack traveller, luggage and carrier bag just don't work on me

2011-03-28T06:36:00.000-07:00

Tagline for this story will be: I am a beg-pack traveller, luggage and carrier bag just don't work on me. and heck.. in the attempts to start handy travel log without excess clothing which i hardly wear, i carried a nike training bag which is supposed to fit all the necessary baju in... ahakzz... ako terlupa!!! nk take into accounts on the after visitation to shops, gerai, shopping complexes... ahaa... and dengan gaya super makcik with left and right hop from one train station to another... no more!!! no more!!! i wasn't going to talk much about what i have done through out the trip, but what i have gained through out the days...

1. meeting up your old buddies are so indeed a must after being apart for sometime to find the old you. the genuine you that worry less, think less, enjoy more, watch movie more, laugh more... its a way to reflect how much you have grow... whether positively or negatively...

2. leave all the work behind. It is hard to be an adult.. even worst if u held any important position.. basically workloads will be continuously being reminded whenever u are about to start to have fun.. can i just be once a while being irresponsible and say: forgive yourself once a while will you..leave the BB, laptop behind... ignore those crazy calls.. you are on holidays.. works shouldn't be standing on the way... but susah kan... T.T.. mengeluh jap.... maybe u can do so for long period traveling like what the mat saleh did.. haihhh~~~

3. postponing the date to travel is a vodoo!!! cannot cannot!! do not do so!!!! what happen if u have sick mate in the group? the best option is to get the correct medication for the illness.. DO NOT ever rely on commercially available pills like panadols and its product. These pills will only temporarily relieve your pain but couldnt cure you.. u'll end up suffering and suffocating yourself with all the symptoms.. drop by at the pharmacy or clinic to get the recommended medication... on top of that.. take care of your health when the date is around the corner...

4. be flexible.. always expect the unexpected (no hotel, no ticket).. things often doesnt turn out to be according to plan.. don't be panicked.. control your anger and emotion... coz there might be more things to explore and enjoy or gained by doing the unplanned events... ^^... prepare yourself with surprises..

5. lapangkan dada dan minda anda when you are around others.. all are human being with different way of thinking and behavior... people might agree or might disagree with your plan.. so again.. be flexible and mature enough to handle these situations... stay calm... think of the best way that works for others.. for the whole team.. nama pn geng kan... even you have to put behind your interest.. its ok... u can do it some other time kan... ^^..

Learn to enjoy every single thing u do

Coretan Gelap

2011-03-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Terhenti kata tiada terluah

Dinginnya malam menyapa manja

Ditemani janitor berbunyi tega

Kekosongan jiwa disebalik ketawa

Senyum terpahat palsu belaka

Hiba dirasa ketiadaan makna

Dekat pada tuhan antara caranya

Namun… ako manusia biasa

Tidaj lari dari lara dunia

Tiada tertepis godaan jiwa

Ingin terbang membelah benua

Mencari erti hidup berkelana

Meratah rakus ilmu jauh

Menyambut malam larut belaka

Menjengah pagi tanpa paksa

Harapan, mimpi dan reality berbeza

Ucapan kata dan bicara hanya terluah

Bila tiada teman di sisi

Diri sunyi namun selesa

Terasa ruang banya sekali

Coretan hati tiada pembaca

Lakaran rasa milik siapa

Di depan mata tidak ku timbang

Sesal kemudian sudah ku sedia

Terbanglah wahai mencari bunga

Usah ditunggu kudup layu

Yang tega tidak mekar

Kerna kuatir kecut sebelum masa

Bimbang tika kembang tiada bezanya

p/s: whoaaaa ako merepek time rumahku terhenti letrik … and terpengaruh dengan bahasa lama dalam Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa

being ignored

2011-03-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

have you ever felt left out when u are in a group.. you initially wasn't belong to the group, yet due to you being thick face, slowly you manage to mingle in.. sometimes it feels great when you are considered in the circle..

yet.. grabbing something that is not yours from the very beginning wasnt easy even though you've tried hard... there's no one to blame in this case.. you'll be acting the same way if u have non-geng hang over... kan?? tapi cannot emo emo!!! you are blessed... at least you still have them around... they might not be the who you expected them to be... then.. expect less.. dont expect to be paid attention all the time.... comfort yourself if u feel like being ignored.. find something that u can do alone without attracting attention that u tend to stay away from the group... just find some simple distraction... even though you'll end up twisted... but u have to... its a way of being a survivor...

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi

2011-03-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

Got an email from a dear friend Melissa about the donation for Japan that was badly effected after the tsunami, the earth quake and the nuclear leak. It was such a major shock to the world when a so developed country who is ahead of the world in many fields was hit continuously with disasters. Well... there might be reasons behind every single thing that happen.. Lets just pray hard that the country can survive the crash and the citizens are safe.. there's not much thing for us to do.. below are simple thing that you might find it useful if u are planning to donate to Japan.. (im too sleepy to avoid plagarism...directly taken from her email)

"My mother and family lives there and it is very bad that so i thought of taking this opportunity for us bloggers to reach out to our readers asking to lend a helping hand. A little help goes a long way i believe.

Hope you can consider. Thank you and have a good day

Donate RM3 http://www.groupsmore.com/cities/multiple/deals/malaysian-red-crescent

Donate RM10

http://milkadeal.com/deals/support-malaysian-red-cross-emergency-relief-fund-for-japan-and-make-a-difference

Make the change you want to see in the world - Gandhi"

shout out: babe!! semoga your mother and family are in good condition. insyallah

International Day

2011-03-09T02:41:00.000-08:00

Recently went to a concert organized by the International Student, USM. Its an interesting events filled with dances and performances.. the MCs were very entertaining as well..

Here were the memorable moments:

1. A male singer from indonesia with a teddy bear walked up towards his girlfriend while singing More Than Words and wished her happy anniversary (half hugging her) was indeed only happen in movie.

2. Few international students from western countries (the whites) were dancing : Bollywood dance and korean pop song (Run Devil Run and Ghee - SNSD).

3. All the dances choreograph by the brother of ex-bakti's mak cik cafe yang masak rebung masuk lemak paling sedap skali!!!!

4. Belly dancing + ballet dance = exotic dance

Sementara

2011-03-08T21:42:00.001-08:00

Menjengah kejap blog berhabuk ako nih... berlaptopkan c mox and bertempat d surau sementara menunggu masuk nya zohor... tetiba terpanggil lak tuk menekan... walaupun tak tahu la arah tuju nya ke mana... hmmm... petang ni akan try guna machine dekat lab yang agak asing... tak la kenal orang sangat. just happen the lecturer know my lecturer... so ako nk la g test sample kt sana.. machine yang lebey canggih... tp kan.. pandangan mata diaorg time ako singgah tuk shrt communication with them were a bit unwelcoming... cam ntah aah itu look down or apa.. tp... its not something very comfortable to begin with.. aihh~~~ pasni klau ok, kira agak kerap la gak ako akan bertapa di sana... camna nih... kena tahan and bare with it ja la...~~

shout out: this coming dinner really drives me nuts... tetiba cam tersedar.. i have nothing good to wear.. all are ok sahaja... glad to be helped by melissa.. thanks babe!! but dont know.. i like to wear something that represent me.. masculinity in femininity... tapi blum lagi come across..

Bodoh + Sombong = Takbur

2011-02-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

The wise always said: Jangan jadi bodoh sombong.. so wat’s this bodoh and sombong is all about? Bodoh is when a thing can be done in a nick of time but because of ur own “kebodohan” it took longer time to complete them… sombong refers to the situation where everyone goes through the same old process but u acting so blagak… and not wanting to go through the same route konon-kononnya u are capable of accomplishing your mission using different ways…

ahaaaa!!!! Ako bodoh and ako sombong… ako bodoh sebab ako dah g 3 klinik tuk buat medical check up… and 2 klinik pertama ako blah sbb kononnya ako malas nk tunggu…. Haaaaa ako sombong.. gayanya leh drive g klinik and can go even at night...!!! ahakkzz!!! P blah!!! Dapat hg.. g check ntah tak sampai 5 min… and turunkan cop yang tak seberapa… hambik.. RM 40!! Dengan alasan ako tak tunjuk paper medical check up masa pendaftaran.. hmmmm ako malas nk argue what is the rational nya ako hand in lambat and ako hand in cepat kan???? Nama pn org2 terpelajar.. takkan nk reverse kaedah tak reti kan? Prosedur kononnya.. ahhh…. Ako sah-sah p bagi kad matrix kt dia.. tau la.. ako ni student… terpelajarnya mereka… mengecaj student RM40 tuk check BP ngan tekap ngan stetoskop!!

Oohhh.. mula2.. ako cam nk maki ja … tapi ako pikir balik.. ni suma gara-gara ako takbur… Tuhan nk tunjuk tu… astarfirullahhalazim.. kenapa la ako jadi camni.. mana nya ako yang humble and down to earth tu? Kenapa la semenjak fellowship sambung balik ako jadi tak tentu hala… elaun tambah.. tapi ako sepnd pada tahap tak senonoh… ako easily bazirkan duit cam tak dak makna ja duit tu… Marina oooi!!! Elaun yg hg dapat tu duit cuka keringat rakyat… manusia ppuan oiiii!!!!!! Hg sewenang2 nya anggap RM20-RM30 tu tak banyak mana…hg ponteng kelas berbayar sesuka hati…. Apa nih… ???’

Shout out: ako nk wat rangka perbelanjaan tuk next month.. all will be going according to paper!!! Cam nk ja langgar kpala kt dinding… tp.. sakit…. T_T..

Plain Jane dan Tulip

2011-02-13T01:04:00.000-08:00

Ikut definasi kebanyakkan orang.. plain jane referring to a women with average appearance dan juga ability.. Ia juga merupakan tajuk novel menulis fav ako.. Nurul Syahida.. Selaku orang yang ber"appearance" plain dan berkelakuan tidak plain... tidak begitu menggemari bunga... no no... ako juga tidak menggemari binatang... juga menunjukkan betapa ako bukan seorang yang penyayang... hakhakhak... motif??.. ako lebey menggemari benda yang realistik... benda yang mengenyangkan... or me"sweat"kan ako, or things yang dapat menambahkan ilmu ako...

tulip pula.. merupakan bunga yang segenap orang yang kurang romantik suka.. bg ako.. org yang romantik,, kegemaran dia adalah mawar... Dan... tulip istimewa wlaupun tidak segah mawar... tulip tiada madu dan tidak berbau... maka tidak menarik perhatian sang serangga... tapi dia tetap gah dan tegak menghiasi taman.... mawar cantik... berduri dan menarik... mawar menarik perhatian para serangga...

linknya antara dua.... orang yang biasa juga mampu memberi impak kepada situasi... wahai plain Jane (s) and John (s) ~~!!!!!! head up!!.. and believe in yourself..that you are.. precious...

shout out: tetiba nk g Holland..

What if.. if...

2011-02-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article from theSun while eating my mom's pisang pancake (tempek pisang la...).. I couldnt recall the exact title but it is something like "falling in love with your best friend's boyfriend"... haaaa... nk kata ako poyo la tu.. eh tak... ako nak buat recap ulasan ja on the article.. bukan nak jd love guru giving out love lesson pn...

so in summary the steps to be taken if.. u just happen to be in such situation are: (according to the article okay..and versi ingat-ingat lupa + tambahan asam n garam skit...rempah juga!!)

1. Try to avoid hanging out with them. Anyhow your best friend and u used to hang out together kan before he/she got to know him/her..

2. Talk!! get someone trustworthy enough not to mulut murai and p jaja story dari chek kiah ke pak tam to talk to... u seriously need to talk...

3. if you best friend happen to sense your withdrawal from the activities u all plan t have together... again.. talk.. in a not dumb way.. dont go like "I'm all into your bla bla bal bf.. he is so.. bla bla bla.. i cant get him off my head..".. bimboos and bambees... itu kerja ngekss!! diffrent individual have different acceptance level in confronting benda-benda kusut cam love stuff... so b wise...

shout out: You cant force people to be in love and to fall out of love...

another jeritan : Your best friend is the treasure of the world... for me..

another jeritan kuasa dua : Friendship remains and never should end...

Buku dan Melancong... 2 2 ako mahu

2011-02-10T07:16:00.001-08:00

Dah dua hari ako tak nganga tgk tv..!! wow... a few short info check on the program and was glad that none of them seduce me hard enough to watch.. wahahah... so basically.. i was able to stand firm on reducing tv program and spend more time reading... ahakz... it can be from the nobel reading material- Journals and scientific articles to ahakz... story books and blogs~~ read juga kan????

I bought 2 more books today.. not knowing when to read.. but it was extremely cheap.. 2 Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice & Persuasion for RM12??? hahaha yeng leh... !!! read first few pages... and kind of like it... ako minah rock yang agak ska layan cerita classical romance... back to the life where love was not that openly expressed.. and was nicely crafted in poems and stories in the indirect manner... ako rasa la kot... sbb ako tak la paham sangat kan poem dia... hahahaha tu yg ako rasa indirect ah.... ^_~..

Isshhhh still wasn't over the heartache feeling of knowing few of my best buddies are going to KSM without me... aissshhh.. blame on the slow me that forget to reapply for new passport earlier... sad aaahhh!!!! Few plans ahead was made for this trip... what to wear... even bought new slipper, hat,bag... and demmm... worst... i felt extremely guilty for planning the trip and ended up not going and being partially suspected for excusing myself from the trip with ahaaa so called unavoidable reason... Buddies... Maaf ya!!! ako tidak sengaja... truly madly sorry...tp cam stress.. they are ging to have the fun of a lifetime and huhh!!!! ako d Penang??Turning green...

Sebelum ke Imegresen

2011-02-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

Balik ja dari kelas tajwid.. something stung me in the hand that i suddenly hit "chinese muslim malaysia revert blog" on the keyboard... numerous inspiring blogs popped out... after reading their stories and the hardship they came across after they converted... then i realize.. how easy my life compare to them... they initiate the change and its the responsibility of the future gen to maintain and uphold the efforts that they made...

wow... tat is soooo theory... bet 2 biji of limau mandarin... out of 5 there might be he most 2 families are following the law as it is... me? mesti aah among the other 3.. bukan buka pekung di dada... (ako wangi!!!ako pkai bedak alken and deodorant sanex okay!!) .. tp tu la hakikatnya... tp ako still bersyukur.. i wasnt toooo off the track... although demmm i am a rule breaker... but heheheh i always believe He'll still loves me and always watched over me... and i'll always be reminded indirectly whenever im off the limit... ahhhh... ^_^... alhamdulillah...

tak wajar kiranya ako bandingkan diriku ngan org yg lebih kureng kan... itu bukan improvement namanya.. itu..mencari excuse... haaaa!! mari mari... kita berusaha~~ ako tak minta org faham ngan who i am and what ive turn out to be... coz you can never understand.. coz u are not me.. vice versa juga... just pray for me... pray that ill be a better person in life... of coz ler... i'll pray for u olzz too...

Shout out: ako tak alim.. tapi ako bukan jahil..ako... cuma tidak pandai berhujah cam org lain...

1 pagi

2011-02-06T08:57:00.000-08:00

Baru pas abiskan novel [Tunas].. one word.. kagum... kagum ngan school life budak-budak dalam novel tu... wahh... amazingly interesting... tetiba nyesal.. tp benda dah lepas.. if only gear reverse applicable to any truly regretful event in our life, then i'll start with before PMR... tapi.. to hell those angan-angan...

ako cemburu.. jeles dengan budak asrama yang dapat true bond yang kekal till now.. a lone ranger myself, bonding tu cam satu perkara asing and weird to me.. even ako tak dak so called bff.. i barely touch anyone's life.. ako come and make noise ping pong pang pang... then left.. without trace.. pastu kembali pada dunia "meng" (dream) ako@novel and tv drama... dari secondary school lg... ako tak g date, ako tak reti lepak dkt shopping complex tgk org... ako tak reti hangout kt tmpt fast food for hours.. after any class or school end, ako nek bus cow trus blk then buka tv ngaga... true... ramai org cakap ako girl next door... kot... cuma ako tak skema ler..coiiiiii~~

nasib masuk uni... He granted my inner crust wish to socialize... maka... ako jumpa geng ako.. tu pun.. km jumpa once a while... png pong pang pang... then shhhhhh for weeks or months... then ada mission.. bising blk... kawan-kawan rapat yg lain pn camtu... klau jumpa cam nk terbalik tamannya sembang... klau tak... senyap... p lab pn ako sronok... ada geng gila ska gelak n ska nyanyi.... tapi same... in then out...

at 1 am in the morning!!ako menganalisis condition ako yang agak... clueless ini... adakah ako mengalami silent psychological disorder... tak kot... normal kot.. ako pn rimas gak benda cling cling terlebey nih... tapi... ako rasa normal... ako assume ako normal...

p/s: ako ingin memiliki satu kelebihan yang spesifik... tapi ako tgh fikir... yg mana satu perlu ako asah dan khususkan....

Percubaan = Attempts

2011-02-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

1 feb lepas... was ahaaa.. the first invincible step to the quarter century life... aiihhh~~~ achievements?? Teetttt... cam tu cam tu jer... but i am grateful to be blessed with circle of friends that are with me through rain and shine... so... i received 3 gifts this year and 150+ FB wishes.. (hmm not bad.. from 600+ friends..neary 25%!! eheheheh)..

Basically theme for bday this year is "Attempts":

First: Attempts to encourage or re"burn" semangat fotografiku... ^_^

this bag... had this at 11.50pm and hahahah "chewi"nya ako... membuka sebaik saja jam berdetik 12.. heheh.. I love the texture of the bag sooo much... ako gelar material camni.. Earth.. and ako slaku pencinta alam.. sangat la menjerit di kala melihat texture dalamannya yang diselang seli dengan kain bermotifkan africa... ada merah-merah skit lak tu...hehehe.. Heyyy kamu... thanks... u always read me well... sambil menggalas beg ni menyidai baju tgh malam...

Second: Yg ni plg lawak... attempt to memperempuankan ako... ahakzzz..

helloooo.. earings okay~~ co-celeb with mamat bijak paling blur penah ako jumpa... T_T... kata mereka.. susah nk cari the masculinity in feminism... and mission succeed!! lega... org tertarik pd earing more than me... ^_^.. and terasa glamor~~ ahakz... terkilan tak dapat join karaoke session pastu...~~ tp dapat makan kerabu soohooonn... hoyeayyy

Third: Attempt kembali ke pangkal jalan...

heheh.. berkat sumbangan budak-budak lab.. i chose a tafsir+tajwid Al-Quran.. ahhhhh dalam dia warna merah... hehehe... so akan diusung ke kelas tajwid stiap isnin n selasa... wink wink... thakssss you olz...

everyone:: hanya ucapan terima kasih yg dapat ako berikan.... nnt ako top up top up la budi hgpa suma yer... ^_^.. kamsahamnida...

Ako.. Belemoih??

2011-01-20T23:26:00.000-08:00

Tetiba ako kena tamparan angin hari ini.. dengan statement: ako belemoih...~~ haaaaa... cam hurt 2 min... meh kt analisis kebelemoihan ako.. in the scale of 10.. those not interested.. aniongggg bye bye....

1. Physical appearance:

9.5 / 10

2. Handwriting

8.0/10

3. Housework

9.9 / 10

4. Presentation

8/10

5. Labwork

7/10 ???

p/s: basically all are over 5.. maka... hmmm mmg ah ako belemoih...

sebelum beradu

2011-01-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Disorder...!! ikut tafsiran ako: benda yang susah nk kawal.. abaikan the medical disorder term.. nnt penuh lak page senaraikan sedangkan yang come across otak ako adalah : mental disorder..

when i want to buy something, i'll basically flip all the pages available in the internet, drive to all the possible stores... but usually end up with not buying.. haaaa... I pengguna bijak ler.. cuma pengabis minyak keta ja.. ^_^.. kali ni benda yang ako nakkkk sangat bli adalah Tafsir Al-Quran with Tajwid.. U olzz... i br hehehe malu... mendaftarkan diri tuk kelas tu... bersyukur ada kwn2 yg berminat.. maka km pn berengkai-rengkai la p masjid USM..

first class was hectic. nearly lewat.. lupa amik wuduk.. (ingat tak sentuh AlQuran).. ngehhh pastu..skali dia cari volunteer nk baca.. kepala ako tetiba bentuk 90 darjah dengan tengkuk ako... haram tak panggung kpala.. wawawa.. buat benda jahat tak dak feel.. benda baik ako mau lak.. heheh lumrah weh lumrah.. nnt nnt la...

so.. ako dah melawat hampir kesemua bookstores: popular BJ, popular Qbay, Boarders, Penerbit USM, kedai buku di tmn tun sadon.. plg recent, ako dpt jumpa satu pengedar buku agama dkt net... Dar azzikry Enterprise.. maka after googlekan alamat dia. ako pn.. haaaaa drive all the way from bayan lepas to Bangunan Mara bersebelahan dgn

Masjid Kapitan Keling.. ahhhh thanks to Faez yg menjadi pemandu arah setiaku yg akan ako call dikala ako tak jumpa destinasiku.. (even the shops location dalam Qbay tak jumpa pn... dia lahhh yg menGPSkan ako..sangkiu~~).. skali wahhh kedai dia cam gedung!! bnyk gilo~~ dengan sedikit segan ako meninggalkan kedai itu setelah membelek2 yg mana yg patut...

ngehh.. satu pn tak BERKENAN~~~ urgghhh ako nk yg warna warni... yg dapat bakar skit smangat ako.. i love colors.....~~ tambah-tambah melibatkan benda-benda berat yg perlukan beberapa tanjalan pada godaan setan durjana itu!!! so ako masih mencari~~ mana yer???sugestions??

shout out: cam nk yg ni~~ ada color merah~~~

Sepi

2011-01-19T07:59:00.000-08:00

Sitting in the dark... staring at the screen.. thinking of what to write... how to express me... in few lines of words.. without repeating the old lame story... pastu. blank...

i visited our director who was admitted to the hospital due to heart problem.. Kuasa tuhan kan... even minor surgery turn out to be a major failure... even there's probability of permanent damage to the body...

as i stand in front of his bed.. staring at the helpless him.. sayu~~~ sangat sayu~~... i still remember how one of his eye open and close as if acknowledging our presence.. it seem like he used all his remaining energy to tell all his visitors that : thank you for coming and dont worry to much about me...skali lagi... sayu~~..

knowing this great man as an active and kind hearted person, seeing him lying on the bed with wires and tubes connecting all over his body really breaks my heart.. students, staffs, lecturers.. despite of their race and religion, set their own little prayer in silent hoping for the best for him... what touches me the most his all his kids were around to entertain the guest with full courage.. despite of the warmth smile.. the eye shows no lies... the pain, the agony and the hurt are far beyond describe... as if the whole USM is under mourning...solat hajat, bacaan yassin are being conducted non stop.. visitors never ends... they keep coming.. because they care.. they hope his fast recovery...

as i was away from his ward... lagu Sepi started to play... the sound of Aizat's guitar strumming is all over my head... creating this emptiness that blanks me.. i was carried away... i made jokes and laugh myself out..to keep me back to reality... to not being sucked by the negative force... astarfirullahhalazim...

p/s: You are the almighty.. every mean of your action is with purpose.. yet.. please.. save him and let him continue his mission to serve.. to serve the people and to serve You... amin...

Hat + Pouch

2011-01-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

I was wondering around in Qbay and was attracted to "material Basic Living, simple material"... perghhhh was so crazy over all the unique stuff in there... and oppsss got my self a stupid hat (cost me ~RM 50) and this wool pouch (RM 30).. i am indeed on heavy cash flow control program... yet i paid without hesitation and do i regret what i did? NO.. hehehe I'm an environmentalist.. well.. u can consider me that... and basically the items sold in this shop are either eco-friendly or something to do with saving the mother earth... kononnya lah!! ako guna alsan ni tuk membeli~~~ hehehee...

shout out: putting that hat on.. manage to isolate me (cam slalu ja ako terisolate..heheh) from the crowd and i sweat after only 10 min on it (made of wool leh~~) ..

Yeay!! Ako berpost!!

2011-01-15T06:53:00.000-08:00

Hampir-hampir ingat ako akan melakukan benda vodooo of the year.. ahakzz.. for not posting.. although the amount of post obviously dah significantly decrease from many-many.. to not so many.. to less less!!! nyanyi sat lagu fav adik ako: Tahi ayam pn lebey panas dari smangat hg!!! wow!! hey kamu!! jgn blagak mengata ako.. mentang-mentang suda berseluar slim fit ngan kasut high neck!!!jeles okay~~

Actually, ako nk tambah lg kedut kt muka ako... sbb simple ja... weh... bila buat apa pn.. please guna speed bila anda perlu guna speed!!! walaupun beratur menanti turn tuk menghayunkan kaki dengan berpandukan kicking pad yang sebesar penampar patung Marry Brown yg berbulu dan berjaya menakutkan ako bilamana dia cuba bermesra ngan kanak-kanak yg teruja.. ooohss..soooo not my thing!!! ako yang sangat ska red... sangat gerli yer!!

ahh berbalik pada cer tadi... injury tu one of the common symptoms if u are practicing martial arts... ako pn tadi tercapit2 g bazar dalam peluh tahap gerimis teman mak ako cr tudung tuk baju bajan dia... (ahhh mak ako ada sindrom sensitive terhadap color pada tahap sangat melampau!!!!lari satu tone.. pn tak mo.. ako stress!!!!).. cuma kengkadang injury tu org cakap.. jgn dilayan.. pas abis merajuk.. bereh la balik tergeliat ka apa ka..

lenguh benau ako pusing cer tuk disampaikan dengan lebey sopan... camni la.. weh.. klau dah sampai turn tu... cepat la skit buat... jgn la medelay-delay masa tuk melayan sakit anda... klau betul sakit.. stop the training.. trus sit aside... eh.. ako tak sit aside la... ako lepak dkt2 juga.. heheheh cakap tak serupa bikinnya org....

shout out: ako suda de-stress kini!!

another jeritan: orang muka ensem tapi tak sempoi... ako pandang sepi~~~

Ako ska ini but ako tak ska sakit.. but ako still tahan time kena dushh dusshh bnyk kali juga~~

sbb... ako SUKA~

Pagi Bersambung Petang

2011-01-14T07:04:00.000-08:00

Stretching kiri... ngeliat kanan.. buat buat belehak.. erkkkkk... haaaa lega urat saraf ako yg tangle sbb perasan seluar size S dan bersesak dalam savvy comel yang meluncur laju (130km/j) dan break hampir mengejut 2 kali!!! ^0^... kus... first break ako tgh pejam, second break ako tgh menguap.. so aksi nya hanya melibatkan biji mata kecil ku toiiiinnnggg terbeliak ja...

Ako slalu memotivasikan kengkawanku tanpa melihat imej pantulan permukaan licin merelit itu.. utk.. hahahah bergaya!! wasehhhh ako sendiri tidak menyikat rambut time g lab dan membiarkan gerbangan itu kekal hingga org termistaken ako tgh wat iklan shampoo (pre treatment = sebelum treatment).. sesungguhnya post treatment juga tiada bezanya... T_T..mop semata-mata...

U olz, pernah tak bla tgk org di sekitar sudut pandangan binokular korang on unsub (unidentified subject..versi Criminal Mind) yg mula-mula cam biasa-biasa ja.. then once awhile dia cam booomm!!!tersemangat!! hahhh!! slalu kot jadi chengitu.. tp yg poyo nya.. korang cam akan terkeluar statement dalam diam ler: "Uishhh apa hal???" tp tgk dia confident ja.. so korang malas nk amk port... haaaa manusia ni mmg ska terpengaruh c tanduk tu.. tambah-tambah ako!! biarlah... klaupun dia elok. dia berelok tuk diri dia... yg kekecohan melampau-lampau ni apa barang????

tak..misi ako kali ini adalah... menyucikan hatiku dengan meredakan lara ku terhadap kombinasi warna yang ako agak agak skit...kurang masuk... haaaaa gitu... bnyk ja occasion yg ako cam hippies tak tentu hala nya gabung warna... tapi bila org.. nampak ja.. ahhhh Dasar!!!! so.. pejam mata ja... biarlah org yg lebey konfius tentang warna yg membuat cuitan pada org yg kombinasi warnanya tersasar skit...

shout out: mari sesama kita berdoa pengarah centre ako dapat kembali sihat and makin sihat!! amin...

another jeritan: ako cam teringin nk stay SP... maju.. n tanah luas!!! plg pentign bnyk gedung textile!!

terus menjerit: I hate Arial font and guess what.. itu font pilihan.. danggg!!!!三八!!!

motif pic ini is to banding kan with the Bali Bali Cafe in USM.. This one actually came with a Halal sign (drop the que where they obtain it).. i googled for the pic and whoahhh tak dak org snap the sooo femes USM Bali-bali cafe???? sebar gas 3 das tanda kecewa sat!!!

My Thursday

2011-01-13T05:43:00.001-08:00

Aikk... ternotice... ada 2 more followers!!! hellooooo.. slamat mencairkan telinga anda with my stories...

ahhh... ako br ter"realize" something... to be able to write more.. u actually need to see more... Jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan... So basically im out of idea to write since the perjalanan yg ako encouter daily is only USM to home to tuition class to USM.. yukkksss alasan ako untuk membungkuskan barang-barang tuk be on the road again~~!!!!! la la la...

hari ni... early in the morning disergah ngan ketegangan urat-urat dahi and tengkuk sat... hsssss.... its not easy being "someone".. bila you are the short cut to others.. and bila nama pn short cut... anda akan di klik-klik sini.. dan klik-klik sana... nasib ako mmg asal pn nyonya kepochi kan.. pastu utk 2 jam pertama, ako asyik sentap!!! bukan teruk mana pn... klau logiknya, klau ako lebih kurang berfikir tentang rasionalism dan ke"realistik"an.. bukan susah pn nk follow the flow... sendiri bikin serabut jer!!!! that's why kot org kata simple minded people less wayar rosak.. tekan pedal... jalannnnnn~~~

shout out: Alhamdulillah.. syukur... the extension for my scholarship has been extended to another year... 2011 started off well... (opsss for now kot)..

another jeritan: dah mula training TKD blk suda... ako sedar satu... ako dah tak malu alah utk menjerit!!! hahahah,... dlu malu-malu kot... skarang.. those screaming "ha jeceeehhhhh!!!!" adalah pendorong ako utk nmpk cool disebelah junior hensem!!! nasib i neutral... tp ako terperasan insan-insan cuba attract attention dia!! omg!!! cam nmpk gaya-gaya jahiliah ako dlu!!! hakhakhak... (@T_T@)

Novel-novel-novel

2011-01-12T03:54:00.000-08:00

Ako ingin mengalu-alukan kedatangan ako ke dunia Novel!! welcome welcome...

Tadi ako lepak Popular... sambil melewati rak SPM (bahan tuition la..apa lagi).. ako singgah la kt rak novel... to the left.. to the left.. to the right.. to the right... yg ako nampak...

1. Cinta

2. Rindu

3. Kasih

4. Sayang

dan sewaktu dengannya....

why leh??? abis suda vocab dalam BM kah??? Kenapa? hanya ayat2 cintun ini sajakah dapat menarik perhatian si pembaca? tetiba terasa sgt square... bukan patutnya bulatkah?? Hmmm

ako apa lagi.. setiap tajuk gerli-gerli yg ako rasa tak masuk bulu telinga ako, jeling-jeling ja lah...

Tetiba nmpk satu buku: Jet Jonah by Ika Madera.. hmmm cam best... tapi tak dak lak 20% discount... ishhh .. memandangkn bday ako nk dekat... ako masukkan buku ini dalam wish list yer~~ ^0^

p/s: Wish list itu utk individual present ja ya... group !!! tak termasuk.. hekhekhek...

Click Click

2011-01-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

i was suddenly asked: when can you start... ?

Previously i was threw the opposite question: hows your work?

Aduh~~~ juggling between two important routes in your life making sure that you wont regret the choices you made is not an easy thing to do...

어떻게??

2011-01-10T19:35:00.000-08:00

Berdebar-debar...

ako makin tak sabar

setiap kali tanya kabar

dia cakap "pending lg dik"..

pastu ako terdetik

ni.. petanda tidak baik

Tak fikir nnt org tanya

tak tanya nnt ako yg gundah gulana

ahh merana~~~

Warning!!

2011-01-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

Ako ni wlaupun dasar celup... (ako stil tulen okay).. tp kerana kesopanan dan tatasusila melayu yang masih ako pegang, maka ako cuba mengekalkan budi bahasa ako..

Hmmm camni lah.. put it short... kawan-kawan ku yang dikasihi sekalian.. stop bringing your friends over utk blind date or saja nk kenal-kenalkan dkt ako hanya sebab ako masih SINGLE!!!! macek tak gemar ye... ako sgt satisfied dgn hidup ako yg sangat berliang rongga ini walaupun graf menurun pada perhubungan sosial ku...

and hey!!!

you olz dont need to feel sorry for me yer... I am happy and grateful having regulars around me.. having them is good enough for me to go through few more years until i am ready... heck!!! i dont want to berchenta for long period of time.. if i made my mind to commit, tok kadi terus yer... so for now.. NO to marriage and NO to dating..

shout out: tangan ako berlekuk menekan tali!!

Lazy Monday

2011-01-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

culas benor nak menghapdate hari ni.. Bukan apa..pepagi dah masuk meeting pembakar semangat.. lantas menyibukkan diri ngan mencuci radas-radas yg terbengkalai beberapa minggu lamanya.. haaaa ako mmg si malas!! Turut sama mengemas equiptment yg baru sampai.. ahhh bahagia kiranya barang2 yg ako guna adalah barangan baru and first hand...

Kata ja ako ngada, ako mmg ska barang baru.. murah pn tak pa.. Asal im the first one to lay my hand on it.. ^0^..

These are the screw cap glass test tube.. caya tak sepasang test tube ni bersama ngan tudung nya berharga nearly RM 25. Previously ako guna polypyrene test tube ja.. wlaupun this type of material proves to stand high temp or extreme pH condition, tapi ako ttp cam kurang yakin.. after all its in the plastic geng kan..

shout out: Cam mula diperli "dah rajin update skarang".. wink wink~~!!

Satu Evening

2011-01-09T02:18:00.000-08:00

Dichlorophenac Sodium... That's the content of tablet yg ako dapat dari klinic for muscle pain ako.. Dia ni sejenis non steroidal anti inflammatory drug.. most commonly to be used for to reduce inflammatory effect on our injury.. the effect was fast.. incredibly fast... so basically ako dah agak okay today... lega poket ako tak yah g x-ray... but terpaksa la plak mengajar dalam mengantuk.. menguap2 sampai berair-air mataku...

2 kelas today.. next week insyallah going to increase to 3 classes on Sunday... camna nih.. budak2 tak tou ka bahawasanya ako ni garang n tak senonoh... kenapa la depa nk ako ajar lg.. ishhh...yg lawak jiran ako bermurah hati dengan murah hatinya menambah gaji ako!!! RM 2o lak tu!!! ishhh risau ako klau anak dia dpt B lg... tetiba macek stress!!

shout out: ako kurang productive today!!!

So many people ahh???

2011-01-08T05:41:00.001-08:00

After ako dah tak tahan with the current pain, ako ajak mama g wat x-ray.. masuk ja Klinik Penawar.. mak aihhhh berdudun... kerusi pn non ada kosong.. Receptionist tu ckp, all the x-rays are conducted at Pantai.. After dpt approval of Dr, br can visit Pantai Hospital... and murah skit.. RM 38 jer.. Kt Klinik Perdana rm50.. heheheh before jantung ako stop pumping sbb berdiri lama sgt, ako pn majulah ke Klinik Perdana...

Ingat leh wat X-ray (nk juga!!!).. skali Dr cek sana skit..sini skit... dalam malu alah ako tunjuk dia belakang ako yg penuh bertampung ngan koyok... dia bg ubat..rugi ja ako g bli Salonplus dalam sakit2 cam rasa tahp jantung kena squeeze la ako pusing stereng keta g Giant bli.. ishhh... dalam sakit2 juga la ako g ngajor dihantar oleh bapa ku... tak sanggup weh nk bw keta sakit cmni...sakit dia tahap, keluarkan jantung yg pumping tu, then u squeeze the jantung skali... haaaaa..

pain killer + anti pain ointment (takut lak mkn pain killer sbb ako penah bc, excess amount of paracetamol akan cramp kn our jantung or muscle.. tp ramai kot org makan dari org yang pass away.. tawakal je kot)

The Morning? Moaning?

2011-01-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

Celik2 mata ja ako pegang ketiak ako yg masih sakit gara-gara training melampau.. rasanya patah kot... sbb sakit nya sgt lah tahap maha... nk g lab pn rasa cam tak da kudrat ja... ishhh... dok rumah wat gapo?? boley nya kutu-kutu tikus yg masuk ke kepala ako kena renjatan "kebosanan".... so bersama air liur basi ngan Mox, ako pn mula lah menyelak blog2 org... dasar stalker.. ^_^..

hari tu pernah juga ako berpost di FB: Ako drop comment kt cubentv7@gmail.com. Its a talk show focuses on the youth development and current issues. Dah putus harapan dah kot after 2 weeks ako send.. tetiba one day... hekhekhek accepted... so basically what i gomel was as below::

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi,

I watched the Cube at NTV7 yesterday night. eventually something went wrong with the speaker of my tv in the middle of the show and i ended up watching a deaf show and luckily there's subtitles.. so i wish to respond to yesterday's topic something like Krisis Suku Abad right?

I strongly agree with Matthew (Matt?), about not comparing yourself with the pop stars or any successful peers.. and about being realistic... But.. daaa u cant help right? Im not sure if any of u experience this but i am in the middle of that crisis although im like 24?? The Korean wave!!

Im stuck in the middle of staying thin and getting thinner!! why?? because of the idols from korea.. Its not logic to compare yourself with the Hollywood celeb when u have black eye and 'penyet nose".. ^_^... But when korean pop culture started to invade Malaysia, everyone wanted to be like them... U know..long slim sleek legs!! pretty in the sense big eye, double eyelid, sharp nose, flawless skin, super white bright teeth..(although most of the idols were under plastic surgery..but still they are the product.. the result..) and even good in dancing... imagine.. i was as hard as a tree trunk but i started to do aerobic after i was "inspired" by the video clips and the live performances by the groups... And i started to stay healthy.. going for regular jog, drinking more juice, buying more tomatoes to scrub my full-of-acne-scar face, and even continuing taekwondo which i left for years.. hahaha..and not to forget...korean language class.. i am at level 3 now!! can u believe how disorder i am.... but hey.. at least i know how to read korean words.. although if u test me with the grammar and i'll failed instantly!! ^0^

In other word.. its not always negative to compare yourself with the more than you-any-any-aspects individual as long as you stay realistic.. It will somehow in the beginning drive u nuts for hoping that when u meet any of the idols and they'll be attracted to u.. (ahh crazy korean drama plot stretching on the Love at the first sign..hehehe).. but just be realistic or tell or force yourself to stay realistic... Those positive lifestyle should be maintain... (ya..reduce more on stalking their latest update online!!!)

p/s: it sounded like pillow talk than voicing out my view on the topic..

Guys.. It was cool show yesterday!! (my first cube segment)... and believe it or not.. My pa was watching this show as well.. probably taking initiative to understand us and the root of madness his children encounter that drive him nearly to the top.. ^0^

good luck.. !!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

instant fame??

2011-01-07T06:55:00.000-08:00

Ted William.. does this name ring a bell?? He's the homeless guy that turn into global phenomena in a night!!! the self claimed golden voice ex-radio announcer who went down due to drugs and alcohol.. wahh dia sangat lucky being spotted by a columbus despatch reporter trus post kt youtube.. Youtube!! the hall of instant fame for some of the hollywood celeb... tp ok ker you gain instant fame???? cam scary ja...

"I dont know what it is,

That makes me feel like this,

I dont know who you are,

But you must be some kind of superstar,

Coz you got all eyes on you no matter where you are"

imagine.. today you are no one then tetiba esok you are a superstar?? tak ka jadi bewak puasa? tak tentu hala.. pastu nk behave camna pn tak tou... we allz the northerners called it "peqak"... hehehehe... ok.. meh kita beragan jap... klau kt jadi femes... what will you do??

klau ako la..benda pertama ako buat is... wat hair treatment.. hahahaah.. lama dah rambut ako cam cik lang... so basically ako make sure yg dia tak gerbang..hmmm straightening maybe.. or perm for more glam image.. omg!!!

then.. manicure and pedicure!! tp ako pesan la..skip the pewarna kuku... nnt rugi air se kolah lak amk wuduk tak sah.. >_<.. pastu.. haaaaaa.. permanent leg hair removal.. opsss... ni sekadar angan-angan ok... ako tou shaving your leg bulu is tak boley... T_T..(ako berfikir seperti itu stiap kali ako wax kaki ku..tp ttp ako wax)...

hehehe...tp mama tak kasi cukur bulu kening... so yg tu tak boley buat... ahhh teeth whitening.. bleach skit gigi kuning ako nih... pastu wat laser treatment boley? reduce or eliminate away the acne scar yg penuh mengisi setiap ceruk muka ako..

ahhhh so much thing to do!!!!patut la tak glamor~~!!

끝 (end)

@_@

2011-01-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

Nk kata ako poyo pn silalah!!! like i care... kecuali ako akan mencebik muka tunjuk gigi ku yg lintang pukang ja la... ako berpost lagi buat kali kedua nya utk hari ini.. heheheh... tahap hot-hot chicken shit yg tahap plg tak leh blah....

dapat dah.. nama tuk lappy ako.. im going to call it Mox!! its a nick name me n my bestie called each other during our secondary school.. tu in short for gemuks... (2 2 pn underweight ja)... tanpa sebab yg munasabah pn we called each other that name.. kira tribute la to our 12 years friendship... babe!! u rock!!!

Ahhhh tetiba org sua kecoh "they are in the magazine".. of coz la ako tak cukup glam nk be in fashion or lifestyle mag... but.. my article was in the Dewan Kosmik!!! hoyeayyy first time yo!!! so doest hurt for me to gebang skit kan... (though my 2 other lab mates dah sgt otai tuk published few dah kan...)

Weh.. tershort cut lak nama bapa den.. there's a Tan behind yer...

Ota dua org yg agak hebat menghasilkan karya-karya ilmiah.. hehehe

Terinspire

2011-01-06T19:08:00.000-08:00

ako ter"inspire" okay dengan morning chat bersama ngan kengkawan lab ako.. heheh sambil mencicah roti 4 segi ngan neslo paket (milo 3 in 1 + old ton white kopi!)... ahh maka ako telah melawat beberapa blog blogger femes!! harus weh.. femes siut ngan number of follower yg cecah 5 figure... blink blink~~!! hekhek.. maka ako pn terasa nk pendown la kononnya... ceyttt !!

Penah kt FB ako, ako post ahhh suda dpt hadiah tahun baru.. (late awal muharam..heheheh bru la gak tu)... a macbook pro.. waakakak malu siut... nk guna pn

ndak reti... i ni rabun IT skit.. tp sgt la suka n perlu ada benda2 gadget2 nih..

sbb cam rasa hensem ako akan hilang stengah klau ako tak ber gadget... gaya harus penting!!!! nk canang muka lawa tk mampu.. canang accessories pn jadi la~~~

ahhh benda alah ni di post directly ke Centre ako... DHL la..

Time sampai tu..mak aihhhhh ako kecoh satu lab... my baby was here!!!! ngeh... maka wat la aksi2 geng babun yg tak tentu hala..

Eh.. ingat senang ker nk guna lappy yg berOS totally different dari windows... first few weeks tu cam ako bertambah stress sbb ako tak reti guna.. tak senonoh.. ako pn p la pinjam buku2 All About MAC and bagai.. baca idak? of coz tak... hekhek..

Till now masih blum dinamakan lagi c koleksi baru ako nih... hmmm cam nk bg nama Mek ja... tp c kurang nyengat ja..

Pastu nasib la kazen ako yg super celik dalam segala benda yg dia sentuh telah mengajar beberapa tricks konon magic.. berjaya juga la dpt claps yoyo dari sekalian kawan... so skrang ako dh semakin ok ngan lappy br nih.. n I'm lovin it~

p/s: ako dh berjaya force diriku sendiri tuk tulis 2 artikel n ngehhh dah hantar kot ke Dewan Kosmik... hoping to hear good news from them.. klau accepted.. lega la sat poket ako tuk 2 bulan... aihhh~~~

2 Jan 2010

2011-01-02T02:56:00.000-08:00

Orang new year.. ako pn kalut nak new year.. sedangkan new year tak bawa pn maksud apa-aa kat ako.. neither any day in the calender brings any meaning to me.. except for the day start puasa la...!! waduhh~~ pusing... hehehe... ahhh puasa belum ganti lagi..

“stress” dh menjadi perkataan fav ako dah.. ntah la dari mana la ako g celup perkataan nih.. rerasanya ntah.. tak dapat lak ako nak recall..

Hari ni adik hitamku balik.. hehehe semenjak kami 2 2 dah makin mendewasakan umur kami nih.. rasa cam makin rapat lak.. in terms of tak mencarut n menjerit aah... heheh walaupun ako masih ska bagi nama tak senonoh kt dia.. hehehe tapi alhamdulillah dia relax ja.. hehehe... dlu shop ngan dia antara perkara paling menyakitkan jiwa dan raga ako... he is demmmm fussy when it comes to what he wants to wear... pastu skrang he actually asked for my opinion.. !!!! ako apa lagi.. merepek la ikut sedap mata.. heheh of coz i make sure he looks good in watever i suggested.. heheh cam zaman barbie lak eh main dress up org.. and they pay themself.. hehehe

Ahhh skrang dah mula mengajar balik dah.. masa mula2 before nak g.. harem siut ako malas nk kuar rumah... berguling2 n berpening-pening ako.. tapi bila dah start mengajar.. cam nk saja ako bw student tu balik rumah n ajar dia sampai pandai.. hehehe... kesian kt anak ako nnt. mesti dapat mental depression.. ill make him/her do maths everyday!!padan muka.. hekhekhek~~!!

Dilema

2010-12-29T03:00:00.000-08:00

Ako d crossroad again... susah btul jadi org cam ako... unable to make correct decision and follow ja whatever come across yang ako rasa cam best... Labwork yang tak progress ke mana.. tetiba disuruh lak tukar tajuk..whoaaa~~~~ kena lak reject from recent interview... hmmm bukan ako berharap pn.. sbb nnt kena wat benda yang ako tak minat sangat...tapi again and again nih kena reject... 2 kali ok for the govt post!! mula la ako tertanya-tanya nih...ngan swasta senang lak ako dpt cilok masuk... Ada org penah bagi hint... try pkai tudung tgk.. senang kot dpt... alaa bukan tak mo pkai.. tp for sure klau pkai nnt ako buka gak... sat la.. nnt btul2 ako dpt feel tu, ako pkai trus aah..walaupn time tu ako kt Korea ka, kt US ka.. (heheheh brangan siut~~)

tipu la klau ako kata ako bukan jenis bercita-cita besar... ako sgt ambitious... ako nk terbang tinggi dan jauh~~ tp current situation cam merestrictkan kan ja mimpi-mimpi ako.. Fellowship yg ntah disambung ntah tak... ishhh ishhh ishhh... nk dkt new year dah ni...

Ako dah janji pd diriku... ako kena kumpul duit tahun depan.. ako kena bekerja keras.. kena kumpul harta balik... semua kawan2 dah do sangat well ngan hidup depa... so ako dah tak boley travel for at least 1 year... d mana ako rasa cam impossible ja.. ni pn dah berpintal dah urat saraf ako tak dpt g jejalan n tersekat nafas ako sbb ako dah mula berjimat cermat tahap tak tentu hala.. dah tak boley shop cam dlu dah...

Hopefully start new sem nih... things will get better la...ako nk:

upgrade belt ako.. 3 tahun blue... gila apa ka...
tulis lebih banyak artikel
kurang menonton TV
boley bermain at least 1 lagu pekak pn jadi la...
continue menghafal vocab vocab bahasa korea...
kurang melaser!! (mulut ako mmg kadang-kadang sial)
Nak g tgk concert and teater..!!!

Suma pekerjaan melara~~ ishhh

The list goes on and on and on...

2010-11-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of what to write then came out with this idea.. Heheh senarai celeb that i like from last time to now.. cm best.. Blog ako kan..ska hati la..>_<

backstreet boys was the first boy group that was introduce to me.. And Nick instantly became my fav with his innocent look and character.. (that was before he turn huge and fell for Paris and i was like: Why the hell i fell for him????) He barely took off his shirt on the first album.. maybe because he lack of those packs.. After that?? huhhh always showing off the not successful attempts... simpan la weh!!!

Then Leo came to picture with the huge hit from Titanic. I gathered all his pics and stickers (or any merchandise that i can buy or steal!! hehehe..).. But till this moment i have yet to watch full version of titanic!! just the front part and the end... that movie was rated NOT ALLOWED by my pa at that time.. c Kate Winslet g half naked nya psal la nih!! So i stick my pencil box (which was made from the box of the video tape) with all his pics and carried proudly everywhere..

I laid my hand on his first compilation album and instantly hooked... A very talented man with the ability to goreng any music instruments u can think off.. And of coz the first time heard him converse in English, i went like: perghhhh !!!! and he is academically smart with the acceptance to yale and Princeton but chose music college instead... ^_^..the craze lasted for 2 albums.. until Wei Yi then the craziness slightly went off....

Jericho Rosales!! hahahaha Man.. whenever i looked at him, the images of him as Christian in Sana'y Wala Nang Wakas and Angelo in Pangako Sa 'Y0 butterflies everywhere in my... At that moment if my frens asked me how is ur dream guy looks like? Instantly He'll be the answer... So basically i was the loyal fan watching nearly 200++ episodes because of him (and the entire cast of coz..those two were good drama).. This guy lasted for years during my adolescent year... (God.. felt so old now..wawawaw)During uni life.. i wasnt that into celeb.. was busy with activities.. But i think Hyun Bin was the wallpaper in my laptop for quite sometime.. Get to know him in My lovely SamSon.. He is a good actor!! what add to it is.. he got this long back that whenever he put on kemeja, he looks good from back... ^0^.. that time the slim cut man office wear just started to hit malaysia.. So he looks the best in it that time!! hehehehe

Rob pat!! waaaa... He hit my dream countless time during the airing of Twilight in the cinema.. watched that in the cinema.. and i was alll crazy about him... super crazy.. bought all other twilight saga collections. Cut all news paper with his face.. even spent my money on imported magazine for like small sections of him.. peiiii!!! apa punya budak.. hehehe... Why i like him? i actually like Edward Cullen more than him.. Like it when he tense his jaw muscle.. when he looks at bella from far.. protecting her in silent.. and like it when he looks at bella with those pair of mysterious eye... wow.. but after watched new moon.. i fell OUT of affection on him... Terlalu control tak tentu hala!!!

Now.. Latest craze and i think will last for few omore years... is... T.O.P!! hahahaha.. from Big Bang.. First got to know his existance is through I am Sam. He acted as Moo shin.. And after some digging then bla bla bla.. i had his pic in my hp as my wallpaper!! hahaha.. Why i like him? at the first place.. he is charismatic + very hehehe nan ren wei!!! whoaaaa... Well couldnt help... BSB song's If U Want to Be A Good Girl, Get Yourself A Bad Boy.. hehehe.. I am already a good girl.. doesnt hurt to admire a bad-boy-look with good attitude... smart+charismatic+bad boy look+deep voice will suffocate me!!!! gluupp glupp... hehehe.. if i am to be asked why i want to be an actress (if i be one) my answer is:: coz i want to go to Pusan International Film Fes.. and meet him and snap pic with him!!! waaaaaa in my dream la~~!!

p/s: i was often said to have bad taste in defining good looking.. ngehhh!! it doesnt take only good looking face to caught people's eye ler... the package~~ the X on the very moment you see him.. TOP!!! Sarang Hae.. ^0^

Dont Lose it..

2010-11-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Writing mode strike::::!!! oh yeah!!

I think some of u might be aware that i just came back from Cambodia. An annual reward to myself at least once a year im out of the country. The trip was great!!! With good traveling mates.. what else do u ask for..?? But orang tua-tua always cakap.. kita buat apa jangan seronok sangat.. jangan lupa beringat and berjaga-jaga..

I WAS literally ROBBED!!

this was exactly before i enter the night market.

To cut the story short. The beg that i was clinging on was cut from the back and the thief took my clutch with 100 USD (RM 300++), passport, cards... IC was in another wallet.. luckily!!

So here are the tips before going to any of the night market..
1. Do not bring along any beg. Put the money or any documentation in ur pocket.
2. Photocopy ur passport. Leave the original in the hotel. Never carry them out!!
3. Always prepare back up money in your hotel just in case any bad events like this happen again.

And what need to be done when you lost your passport:
1. Go to the nearest police station. Some country required tourist to report unfortunate event to the Tourist Police Centre (not the normal police station). So ask the nearest law enforcement officer where should u head to.
2. With the official police report (make sure there's always an english copy attached with the report that u made. can be ur own handwritten report), go direct to your country's embassy.
3. Prepare small sum amount of money for the emergency exit visa processing money. (not bribing!! normal fees)
4. With the letters from the embassy and temporary passport, go to the imegrsen office (usually situated near the airport).
5. Pass all the letters from the embassy to the imegresen office. (keep the original one!!)
6. The office will arrange a special officer from the tower to fetch you all lead you all the way through all the check points in the airport. ( u either are criminal or hot glam celeb.. i felt like a celeb instead... hahahaha)
7. With all the original documents, do la new passport!!! in ur own country la of coz..

The left is the normal passport. Right is the exit visa

p/s: please be careful. the whole process of redoing your passport is not easy!!! it takes lots of patience and luck.. but hey!! if it happens.. stay cool and be humble when u communicate with all the personnel. Do not rush them too obviously... !! and dont forget to thank them million times...!!

The first step

2010-10-07T00:29:00.001-07:00

The journey of thousand miles begin with one step... so ive took my very first baby step in sharpening my independency... i took my lunch in the public alone!!! heheheh.. i hate n i dislike eating alone in the public... it looks so pathetic to me!! ksian gila kot~~!!!.. took the seat that face the road.. plug my mp3 in.. them errrkkkk i survive the whole lunch... hehehe wasnt that bad or kesian at all~~!!!... did short reading after lunch... whoaaa gaya cam suda bersedia ke oversea ini.. hahaha..

p/s: God has His own plan to all of us.. despite of my high hope to fly as high n as far as i could.. i still pray hard that he'll grant those little wishes... if He has better plan.. then who am i to doubt His decision..

catatan diary ku

2010-10-06T18:30:00.000-07:00

If I am to be granted a wish.. I’ll wish that I have a huge a family with at least 2 / 3 more brothers and sisters… then I won’t be tied to responsibility of being the only daughter of the family…

Why? Kenapa ako tak bersyukur ngan apa yang ako ada? Ako ada family yg tak susah, I was given a car to move around, Im continuing my study, I have activities to filled my schedule..

in return.. Im here...

nothing so bad about that.. it is just an empty feeling in me that keep urging me to find that empty pieces… I don’t think I can find it here… couldn’t describe in word what this feeling is about.. it is more to empty + loneliness that I need huge distraction to either filled the gap or for me to forget the opening… I am sure relationship is not the answer… I need to see the world.. I need to indulge myself to the alien and strange environment so that ill start to recollect my every pieces.. I don’t need to be understood… I just need to be away…

that’s why Im not ready to watch “Eat, pray, love” coz im afraid that im all too inspired that ill end up just grab a bag and leave… I know im capable of doing so… few more months to go… hope that my study will end up well and ill be gone… i want to return as a new person.. anything i am not...

Ako Kena Perli

2010-10-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

Wahhh.. cam makin kerap ja peristiwa ako diperli kerna ke"sibuk"kan yg ako claim sendiri... daaannnnggg tercocok jap...

Semasa Conference.. Instead of presenting.. ako melaram tak tentu hala n i look like a super weirdo..maka...my pic..not included...

-^_^-

2010-09-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

kengkadang ako rasa lucu gak ngan pepatah air dicincang tak akan putus.. hehehe..indeed benda tu cam true.. yesterday ended with me crying myself to sleep thinking that there will be no more hope for us to reconcile.. tup tup.. today we are talking like nothing happens.. hahaha lawak lawak... but still yesterday's bad event should be a pinch to my head to not to repeat the same mistake again.. hehehe so conclusion.. going back for berbuka today.. (ingat nk mediate dkt lab till late late at night..)

I am worst than i always be

2010-09-06T06:31:00.001-07:00

Something came up today.. a not very pleasant one.. First few early events were fine. indeed entertaining.. From meeting my labmates to watching my very first 3D movie... best!! enjoy... tuition class was not bad either.. Then i was surrendered by the road side waiting to be picked up..

I have this bad temper when it came to waiting.. Super bad one.. to add to the flavor.. i need to wait for 30min?? an achievement that i dont just walk off with any taxi or bus... numerous phone calls were made to reach him.. Yet none succeed.. With tremble hand i dialed my ma's cell no.. Astarfirullah... I actually couldnt even control my tone.. most of them were high key!!! adehh... she even being forced to fetch me all the way from her factory... nearly 30 min of waiting the most awaited car arrived... i was so pissed that no explanation seems to be logic to me.. Astarfirullah... no wonder i was reminded again and again that i dont have good heart and with bad temper..

i definitely know that what i did was wrong but couldn bring myself to apologize.. the worst trademark i have in me is :sorry seems to be the hardest word when it come to my family.. of coz i took thing for granted again and again...

probably i wasnt meant to be too close to anyone.. distance is always the best way so that people dearest to me never get hurt with what i did... Yeah.. the less im around.. the better it is for everyone..

p/s: it is always nice to have a place for you to escape..

Craving for Activity

2010-09-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Salam~~ happy ramadhan..

Today mark the last day of my independent horayyy can eat day of the month.. hehehe thus was thinking of crushing to McD or KFC to grab some tidbits (do i spell it right.. hmmm)..

I have this crazy maya imagination nowadays... to write a screenplay.. gila.. Have this great story plot in mind yet couldnt deliver them in words.. Hello all my mother tongues are tauge ok!! how i wish there's some writer wanted to pen them into words.. Like some of the celeb for instance, i bet they arent that smart to write their own bibliography.. They hire a good writer and boommm!! a ntah apa-apa master piece published (they claimed!!)..

Hehehe i am fascinated by the foreign director for being able to focus on a particular theme and elaborate them so well than us the viewer actually gain something from the movie.. knowledge about how to make cakes, pasta and etc... Hmmm.. Don't worry folks.. our locals are picking up by expanding and diversifying the story line... The progress might be slow but we are picking up.. !!

What i want to write is something related to tae kwon do.. Hekhek.. daaaaa no surprise.. hehehe there's plenty of die hard practitioner of this sport ok.. How this sport evolve and effect our life.. the Siamese, the korean and chinese have been so well established in producing martial arts movies. maka ako pn bercita-cita besar la juga to write... I think ill start one.. bahasa rojak.. boley kot.. heheh..

Back On Track

2010-08-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

Geezz... I just came back from an anger trigger class. Fuhh.. ill be in peace if i teach only English and Science.. I'll be burnt to the max when the Maths class turn... Biarlah...

With the unstoppable tickling of clock indicating the approaching of many big events: the Ramadhan, Raya, Diving trip.. worst of all the date line for paper submission.. Arghhh... by hook or by crook i need a paper to be published.. What if i dont publish my paper? Half of the elaun will be cut.. (by the time the new year start.. i wish that i wont be involve in any of the tuition class anymore...not home tuition at least...).. then no more trips.. pay own master bills.. fuhhh cant u see how tough it sounds if i dont start to work like a bull? So here's the plan..

1. Sample extraction every morning... Although that particular day i don't plan to run any sample..
2. Each day ill change the manipulative variable...
3. Sample drying took quite some time.. so while extracting all the sample.. ill proceed with the sample's drying..
4. Prepare stock solution for all the solvent.. Pour the solvent of interest to the small beaker for each round.. do not pipette out directly from the reagent bottle.. to avoid any contamination (found few ghost peak on my chromatogram ..hmmm)
5. By the end of the week, do the bulk amount of injection into the machine..
6. Leisure activity need to be reduced.. which means TKD training might need to escape.. yes i love to train.. but things is serious now.. piakk piakk... I'm wide awake now..(force to)
7. I'll still go short jog during the puasa month.. in the evening.. at least to maintain my stamina and blood pressure.. am hoping that the reading doesnt drop to dangerous level.. hmmm.. that's all..

p/s: Have 4 hours of incubation time.. in between that time, ill jog and prepare new all the solvents~~!! got lots to do !! Wachaaa fighting~~~!!!

Mereka Cakap

2010-08-05T18:23:00.001-07:00

Mama cakap: hati ako tak cukup baik...Cuba la bagi bersih skit hati tu...
Mama juga cakap: Ako tak cantik..Ako tak semanis adik ako.. harap ke putih ja..
Papa cakap: ako berangin...
Adikku cakap : Semua hg kata betui... Hg ni period memanjang...

Ishhh.. Reflect reflect~~

Plan

2010-08-01T00:36:00.000-07:00

Tension siut nih.. ako wat la injection pada mesin dengan harapan besar ada peak... maka.. akopn blah for lunch.. siap balik tido lagik.. hehehe ingat balik nih boley aah tgk hasilnya..skali ceyttt... dengan bongoknya rupanya... ako lupa nak tukar sequence no of the sample!! kentut btui. maka.. kembali lah ako menunggu benda yang sepatutnya ako dah siap n boley blah balik ke memana~~~!!!.. ni mesti gara-gara iriver mp4 yg menjadi anaguan ako.. serious agak keagauan... urghhhh tapi tak boley lah kot memandangkan kedudukan ekonomi ako masih belum ditahap full recovery... hmmmm so decided.. Not buying.. even an external hard disk.. or a pendrive.. nothing.. just bought a printer.. fully under my pa's loan.. heheh pay everymonth la skali..tak la terasa sgt...

hmmm tindakan tidak mencatatkan what i want to do seems to be killing my time unwisely.. Ok.. i have few more hours to go before the day end...

Let's start with:
1. Printing all the results using the recycle paper!!
2. Prepare phosphate buffer baru .. Use other pH meter..
3. Weight some set of sample.. so that kerja senang skit next time if want to do.. blasah ja wat..
4. Discard some of the unwanted samples.. wat nyemak ja kot..
5. Evening jog.. hehehehe 3 hari kot dah tak sweat..

p/s: plan plan plan... next time plan plan plan plan...

Ako dan Hari Esok

2010-07-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

2 days ago, I was asked a question: Marina.. Hari Selasa ni nifsu syaban.. tak mo posakah? Ahh.. ako yg sememangnya cetek agama nih pn ooohhh dgn menjawap: apa tu nifsu syaban?

Nifsu Syaban is the middle of the syaban month..(tgh bulan ler).. It can be considered as the month of celebration since we are allowed to eat during the day before we welcome the ramadhan month.. Maka ako pn googled la mencari fadhilat puasa pada hari nih.. ahhh.. found the following..(celup jer)

“Allah melihat kepada hamba-hamba-Nya pada malam Nisfu Syaaban, maka Dia ampuni semua hamba-hamba-Nya kecuali musyrik (orang yang syirik) dan yang bermusuh (orang benci membenci).” [Riwayat Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzar dan lain-lain].” nk tahu lebey lanjut klick cni kot

Before jumpa the above statement pn ako agak plan dah nak puasa selain lah bendera merah menyerang.. hehehe mak ako dah masak dah pn nasi tuk esok n ada leftover sup by our chef of half day – My Pa.. so of coz la ako posa.. lagipn..the whole geng from the lab will be fasting.. bertambah membara la niat nak posa nih.. hehehe..

So tomorrow`s plan will be:

1. Ill buzz the Centre’s door right after the subuh prayer (ako mandi la dulu!!).estimated time of arrival is 6.30am. coz pas subuh on fasting day..sememangnya ako akan tumbang balik n ended up at 10 plg awal..

2. Do the 4 hours incubation preparation..

3. Once ja the clock count start..ill crush the surau room and incubate myself prior to the sample incubation time.. hehehehe.. (was reminded to bring toto as well!! Abis ako terover pengsan nnt..)

4. Kena bawa pencuci muka to wash away all the nylon yg terhasil.. hehehe..

5. Pastu apa lagi..kerja kerja!! Lab lab lab..experiment experiments.. I really hope I wont throw out due to the chemicals.. (euu the extraction part can be super busuk and smell dangerous!!!hello.. dichloromethane can even dissolve a plastic easily and I accidently wet my hand with that few times..taubat bnyk kali pn sama ja!! Wear ticker glove!!!!)

P/s: had cappuccino with sista in d afternoon (tq for the treat!!) and came back home realizing that the omg.. the cough syrup dah abis!!! Dang~~!!! Im going to be a zombie tonight.. eh ako nk mkn ubat batuk coz I am batuk!!! And of coz I sleep better when im on it.. hahahaha..

Ahead Plan

2010-07-25T08:03:00.001-07:00

To avoid distraction early in the morning..
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explanation: whenever i am in d lab, ill spend nearly 1 hour on the net.. this 1 hour can drag and drag and drag to longer period.. depending on the heaviness of the traffic in between my browsing page.. hehehe.. net can be boring once awhile and addicting at the same time..
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So ill make a simple draft on tomorrow's plan.. hmmm nama pn plan saja!!
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1. Ill dry whatever non dried samples.. (since toleration is need in sharing the machine... i actually have time to catch a movie tommorow!!!)
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2. Print and pasting work.. (Make sure that it is done!!)
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3. Collect cek from the canselori.. (org punya.. not mine!!)
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4. Go to Korean Language Class.. (still have butterfoies whenever im going to the class..again the left out issue..bila nak abis nih???)
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5. Yeayyy!! Ko-k will officially start tomorow.. hmm stay back for first TKD training.. so many gossip to collect.. hehehe..
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6. Tuition at night..
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p/s: people said i pretended to be busy.. but i am busy arent i?Not to count going out for lunch..hmmm where yer?heheh
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p/s again: I finished Jude Deveraux - Someone to love.. (then i realize..i actually enjoy very much classical romance+thriller..less high tech and technically less technology term for me to understand..)

Dibetray or Membetray

2010-07-25T03:54:00.001-07:00

Language lover.. excuse urself from my page.. ull get heart attack on my misuse of language..

Hati manusia ni of coz sememangnya susah untuk disukat.. apa lagi nak meramal apa yg sebenar-benarnya.. Even ako sendiri pn kadang2 topeng juga.. so boley ako blame org kiranya ako buat benda sama? klau tgk cermin (selain dari terkejut ngan muka penuh kawah itu..) ako kiranya berundur lah dari mencetus kontroversi.. Euuu bila ako tgk gossip girl ako cam ishh poyo nya depa ni.. napa make big on an issue.. perlu ker?? tapi sah-sah..what's going on in the movie most probably related to the daily life kan.. maka ada la bebrapa kumpulan manusia yang akan mengalami situasi yang sama..mestilah ako join skaki jugak...aihhh~~~ hmmm politikus politik la katakan.. klau pikir2 balik.. ahh pedulikkan ja la.. tak kurus pn ako dimakan gossip.. kena juga g jog.. so ako pn pedulikkan ja la.. walaupn cam nak je tarik2 rambut pastu wat head banging jap sbb terstress.. kan dah scientifically proven.. it's easier to smile than to make sour face.. and dari kedut2 and wrinkle ako yang belungguk tu bertambah.. baik ako lepak n teruskan hidup ako dengan seadanya..

ni tgh stress aah nih asyik kena panggil ngan mak ako ja... ahhh stress....ahh kedutt.....

Gimme that

2010-07-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's plan was 70% completed... or mission nearly accomplished... and see see.. i blogged today showing the determination to start blogging again.. hehehe yeah la tu... smalam best lepak with my mak n abah n their new daughter in-law in Padang Brum.. perghhh i was there for the Majid Mee Hailam.. tp tutup la plak.. tension ako!! maka belasah ja la kedai sebelah.. mana sama~~!! dont like!!! even cannot eat Bubur Cha Cha coz i am really really sick!! my coughing getting worst.. and with all the chemicals im dealing with, its getting worst.. maka.. today.. i put on face mask!! heheheh..
Today's Mission:
1. Inject Sample
2. 2 more sample for SPE clean up..
3. Do scuba club's stuff..
4. Go to pameran buku.. (bought books yesterday!! hahaha..lawak..buying again today.. )
5. Lazy want to jog..if go back early then want go aerobic..
6. Tuition!!

Untitled

2010-06-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

Genap lebih sehari ako menyepi dari dunia blogging.. ahhh blame it on FB!! hehehe.. macam la ako super active FB.. ahhh July month is a month of celebration..With the wedding of my bro on 10/7 (belah ppuan), birth of my bestie's second daughter on 14/7, my Pa's Bday on 16/7, my bro's wedding reception on 17/7.. woahhhh hehe..so every weekend been occupied with numerous activities.. dah lama dah stop visitting the cinema.. hmmm even missed the Eclipe's.. Experiment shows some perkembangan.. hehehe... and i picked up the Korean Level 3 class...was so left behind..but am trying and work hard to memorize and revised back all the terms and vocab..

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In conclusion, im trying to be positive!!! yeah!!! been draining out all the negative energy through constant short morning jog (10min ja!!).. but felt so good to start each day with sweat.. Sweat is pleasure~~ hehehe...
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Penyakit pelupa teruk ako ni makin menjadi2.. sort of need to pen down whatever important details.. maka.. sila la percaya when im trying to start everyday by blogging about plan of the day.. hehehe..berkesan atau tidak.. letak tepi kot.. kejayaan starts with dream kan!!
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Today's plan are:

1. Incubate sample for 4 hours.. (meanwhile melara la merata and macam2..tension ako nak g cari spagetti dkt anjung budi n found out ceyyytt kul 10 br ada..)

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2. Plan for morning jog.. was in my sweat shirt and tracks bottom.. then hujan... aisehh.. kena ganti petang la plak kot.. ishhh..

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3. Must do full extraction despite of any godaan g cari lunch yg best!!! ommmmm no going out!! no no.. plg jauh Harapan or Bakti ONLY!!!

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4. Evening jog (not sure stadium or lake)..

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5. Blog my ear with songs so i wont go around gossiping..sampai camtu ako punya ska bersembang!! hehehe.. very the mak cik...

.6. Tuition at night.. Science.. Finishing all the syllabus and want to start revision for form 2.. Go go go.. ako cubit bdk2 tu ngan mata ku klau depa delay and wat pening lagi!!

Arm + Pit

2010-06-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

Pas baca post “Jam-Ban”.. Ako dgn suda tidak segan silu utk nak story about personal stuff.. Hehehe its good to share something that we used to be so ashamed about.. So im going to talk about ketiak@ armpit.

Body odor is experienced by some of us.. I did (past tense tu!!hehe).. Since primary school, I’m not the type that took care my appearance.. I don’t comb my hair, don’t care to wash my face.. The only hygiene thing that im so proud of is.. ako ska mandi.. hehehe wlaupun kadang2 g market pagi2 ako tak mandi.. hehehe I love to bath.. Ingat tak kecik2 mak kita akan sapukan bedak utk prevent formation of rashes@ruam. I never liked to apply anything… not to my face and not even to my body.. (maka lotion ni jarang la sentuh tangan kasarku..hehehe).. I was an active athlete years back.. so u know.. the training was conducted under the hot sun.. and our school olahraga team t-shirt is short sleeve with pair of short.. So berangin.. hehehe ..

Bila dah mula jejak kaki ke Secondary School, everyday is Baju Kurung.. (kain lincin n sejuk ok!!hehehe..).. Then I developed this sniffing habit that I seems to go sniff around like a doggy!! Adoi.. what do u expect.. I smelled my school uniform then drrrrrr I turn blue… hehehe …

I consulted my mother do I really smelled?? Hehehe dgn malu alahnya.. she said yes!! Dangggg!! Maka action was taken.. My pa bought Dr. Mist.. It’s a Malaysian product (me n my pa are huge fan of local product~~ yeayyy!! Buy Malaysia!!) Good one.. not sticky, odorless, and even keep my armpit dried.. But hello… not cheap la for a secondary school student to afford.. So after few bottles, I stopped..switched to Talkum powder.. heheh.. My pa is an antiseptics product collector (dulu aah…now to save money he go buy Giant or Tesco brand!! Adoiiii!).. Dettol and Elken have been the choice of interest for years… Ok lah…

Dah masuk uni, mula mengada when saw most of friends with their spray deodorant, stick or rolled on.. Apa lagi… mula aah buy… Up till now I still prefer stick deodorant… Then suddenly turning point came again when I tried Nivea 24 hours protection.. My skin started to developed rashes + it itched like hell!! I ignored assuming that its one of the syndrome exert after shaving.. Days passed on.. The rashes turn to form something really similar to kayap!!! Awawawaw berair and they formed small pond on my arm.. Seksa.. sakit..pedih.. gatal…both side.. benci.. ako mati2 ingat kayap dah.. skali ekor n kpala bertemu.. daaannggg… ako mati nnt (tu kayap ular kot org panggil..).. cuak sat!!! stop trus pkai deodorant tu… !!

Tp Alhamdulillah..after applied the antiseptic cream, evything back to normal.. apa lagi.. I developed phobia towards deodorant…

Baru2 ni budak sales girl giant menggodaku dengan product baru rexona.. After shower kot.. perghhhh tergoda and tried.. I liked the smell la weh.. it lasted long oso.. Tp.. if I used direct in a row.. the armpit will start to gatal lagi.. wawawa… last2 only applied on the day I have training.. tak la partner ako juling kena tempias ketiak busuk… heheh… Nnt ako nak try the antiseptic deodorant lak.. sbb ako rasa talcum powder couldn’t actually suppress the armpit odor any more!! Wawawaw

p/s: To u guys out there… Please take care of ur personnal hygiene.. trust me.. if under this hot weather, like it or not.. the combination of ur assumed no smell sweat with your wet t-shirt or blouse, nantikan lah the presence of unpleasant smell.. Maka.. cme come..wangi2 kan diri kiter~~~

Nota Tercicir

2010-06-19T08:40:00.001-07:00

Dalam kejulingan mata n keletihan badan yang teruk ini.. yeahh sampai juga ako ke Sg Bakap.. or Bakau eh? which ever... Hmmm alhamdulillah some sunshine on my research.. thanks a million to my junior for the discovery.. hekhek.. ako asyik lepak luar ja..mana nak discover apa2.. hehehe skarang involve lak ngan training for the Penang Close TKD..adehhh..

Semester baru suda nak start... heheh so was planning what courses to enroll as elective.. I think ill polish up my German language back since the higher level of korean language is not available.. (they offered up to Level 2 only!!!?? apa nih??.. UKM till level 5 kot.. with certificate of acknowledgement lagi kot~~..T.T) Nevermind la.. I'm really looking foward to attend class... Been conducting classes ja.. sesekali diajar best juga..!!

Then Ko-K lak.. hmmm of coz ill stick to TKD.. i was asked to upgrade my belt.. heheh gila nearly 3 tahun on blue... heheheh.. so i might popped in and out during the training... Ishhhh can i stand not going? cam tak caya laks.. heheh aah.. I'm actually teringin want to join tarian modern.. Hehehe triggered by my labmate.. or maybe aerobic.. anything physical with music to enjoy..

Meanwhile.. was signalling my parents on my tak larat want to conduct the tuition class next year.. they eventually agreed.. yer ker?? if i hang around too much at home lazying the whole day... i believe they'll find an excuse to chase me out for activities.. ntah la..

Journal publication.. This has been the worst stress of all (besides me hating myself for not being able to do somersault smoothly and the flipping thing!! stree gila gila).. oohh then fortunately.. a good friend of mine offered (ako tahap paling abis kesian dah~~hehehe) me to write a small part of her paper then in return (super big one!~~~) i can be the co-authors.. wahhhh thanks girl.. a lot.. But ako yang tak sedar beruntung nih.. boleh pulak ako tak siap2 lagi paper yg dia suro wat tu... apa kes!!! dah dapat bantuan then main lengah2 kan masa pulak!! adehhh... menci pada diriko~~

p/s: dapat cari lak soundtrack Three brothers "Navi-Can't refuse".. hehehe cam best...
p/s/s: Tak brani nak wish my pa.. so wish from far jer lah. Pa.. Happy Father's Day... May all the forces and His Bless be with U... Amin...

Kembali Kejap

2010-06-16T00:10:00.000-07:00

Wink wink..breath breath.. breath…. To gather the courage and idea to re”blog” again is not an easy task.. Past few weeks of silence were nothing special in particular.. again?? (what happen to the cannot tahan boring prinsip and cheer yourself that I practiced!!?? Berkubur dah kot.. hehehe)..

Recently.. a deep remark was made on my life journey..(I think it happened before.. this is the bigger version).. Hurting people with your action.. Intentionally or vice versa.. I admit.. I did both.. Intentionally done when advices were useless… Unintentionally when I thought it was a joke and turns out to be the opposite one… Danngggg… The intentional part tu no comment la… Most of them were emotionally influenced or to deliver important message after other method attempts didn’t work. The unintentional is a bit mind confusing… being raised to speak out my mind (damnnn mulut ako mmg capoii juga..but ako tak penah capoi when it come to hantu and the unseen stuff..takut makcik.. ).. It’s a bit awkward and hard to transform the whole system around.. Things might slip again… I don’t even know how to react by not involving the unintentional communication.. Someone said… time heals… Hopefully… Yeahhh it takes time.. but it doesn’t hurt to at least try right?

Yeayyy!! I managed to download 2 Cinderella’s stepsister OST. One is by Super Junior… Another is a lady.. Crystal & Luna kot..

Bell ringss

2010-05-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

Rupanya ako bukan multi tasker.. coz.. i couldnt help my self to update FB and blog at the same time.. since i'm hooked to the FB sbb easier to view using Cik Ruby... Then ive neglected writting.. on the net.. i still pen down on papers whenever i'm bursting with instability that cannot be voiced out verbally... Aishhh..

Should we actually blamed the faith for putting us into where we belong today? We dont stand a right to blame but we are eligible to be blamed!! siutt apa ako merepek... Ako kadang2 marah sbb my life seems to be occupied by fulfilling others interest or activities.. While i dont have time for myself.. my friends.. then ako pikir balik.. ngokkkk apa ka marina ooiii... the activities that u did are those that u enjoyed as well.. g kamdar, g umah mak g gosip, g market, g sunshine, g gerai pak long... Tapi... i want to do wat i used to do dulu... i've been craving for ages..and nagging about this the moment i settled down in Penang.. tp dah dekat 2 tahun dah. apa yang ako capai dalam hidup ako? minor one banyak la... cam ako hilang 3 kg.. ako dh bli heels, ako dah ada handbag, even pampered myself with new sport shoe.. jaga kaki weh!! and yeahhhh participated in MASUM..!! hehehe... walaupun kalah first round.. at least ako masuk.. hehehe..

tapi major one?cam tak dak ja.. ako tak g conference mana.. ako masih blum siap tulis paper yang patut ako tulis.. Trip mana pn ako tak p lagi... Trip nak g balik pulau cari paih pn blum.. g rumah cikpah yang tak sampai 5 min tu pn blum nak g tgk keta baru dia.. Go to YN house to pass CD dkt dia.. ishhh...Wat is there to be proud of u fullish arragont girl!!! dushhh debikss... AKo bukan tak nak.. tp serius.. ako mmg busy yang tak hengat..!!wlaupn tiada apa yg ako buat pn...ahh time management ako mmg failed!!!

p/s: apa yg ako tulis pn tak tou sbb dah lama tak menari atas key board nihhh~~

I am sial serious

2010-05-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

if it takes to burn midnight oil
I’ll do it..
If it takes my weekend away..
I’ll still do it..
If it takes my fun away..
I’ll insist on doing it…
If it takes what it takes for me to SUCCESS..
I’ll face it!!!

p/s: kata kata semangat dari orang yang baru nak sedar bahawa..the clock is ticking and u havent produce any result for ur experiments!! Damn!!!

Suka Jogging?

2010-05-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

Jogging. It’s a hobby enjoyed by many.. I never liked jogging.. never would.. huhh!! But since the selection date is approaching, I cant help to force myself on the gear one day once. Except when I was fasting.. ultimate rest for my feet but challenging task for my stomach.. Why would I work so hard if I don’t plan to win (actually hahaha couldn’t afford to win..hahah)? Coz I’m a fighter.. An improving fighter.. I’m neither experienced nor talented… That’s why I need to work harder than those gifted legs and endless stamina.. Would it pays off? I don’t know.. I just know I couldn’t just count the days..

I treated myself with different panorama and scenery on each of my workout.. I’ll change the venue everyday or alternately… Yesterday I was at the usm track… It’s been years since I pushed my both dumb legs on the track.. (I did came there few times for the aerobic sessions).. Used to be a self proud school runner until I gained some extra weight that decrease my acceleration rate that I know.. I’m not a gifted runner… (I tried and tried and tried… to think and think..what made me special? I’m moderately not gifted at all.. I’m gifted to be moderate.. hehehe ya that’s it!!!)

Back to the story.. I was surrounded by sportsmen who continuously made me felt so small and weak when they ran passed me.. One thing I hate about jogging is the passer-by. Coz they can hear me breath like a puncit cow.. I go like ho ha ho ha ho ha so loud that I have to stop breathing whenever i felt someone approaching.. There were runners, jumpers or even some leisure joggers releasing their muscle tensed on the track… After some short warm up.. embarrassedly I started my jog.. whoahhh.. it felt so different on the track and on the normal jogging pathway.. Some sort like bouncing feeling.. (probably due the tight jeans that I wore earlier.. after I was on the trackbottom, all the muscle and fat seems to be swinging back and forth enjoying their independent day from being squeeze for nearly 8 hours.. hahah fashion is a torture.. u want it.. then endure it.. hehhehe.. )

First round was ok for me.. the second started to exhaust my nearly flat energy.. So here come the lembu.. ho ha ho ha ho ha again… aihhhh~~~.. I finished 2 rounds of jog and 2 rounds of walk.. came back with tones of sweat.. not sure due to the heat from the sun (+the sins.. +_+) or the self claimed fat burnt.. aishh.. 2 round jer?? Oihhh gila apa ka!! Penat oihh… Know your body limit… Aihhhh~~~ hopefully I still have the determination to go through these 10 days with this not favorable sports..

Bones

2010-04-25T21:49:00.001-07:00

I am having sleeping difficulty nowaday where i'll wake up couple of times in the middle of the night. And I felt tired the next day.. Thought because of the recent supplements that i took. I'm on vitamine C, Enervon and Cod Liver Oil.. So i stopped taking them during the weekends.. Still no changes.. Then i traced back my recent eating routine.. Ahhh just found out that i'm hooked to the caramel custard pudding. I'll have 1 in the morning and in the evening 1, followed by at night.. kehkeh.. i'm a junker in terms of junk food.. kuikuikui... I think i'll put a temporary stop for this dessert during dinner.. Who knows the mixture inside contain caffein?

I did some light reading on the Silent Withness that i bought recently.. Here are some pick ups from there:

1. From the bone remaining we can detect whether the body belongs to male or female by examing the pelvis bone.. Female tend to have wider in diameter (nak beranak kan..)..

Guess which is which? (from wikipedia)

2. Besides that is the jaw can also be used as the alternative source for the gender determination. The man's jaw is heavier built and tend to be wider (omg.. i'm in this category!! kahkhakah).. while female are smaller..

Seizure = Sawan

2010-04-24T03:13:00.000-07:00

Just watched Private Practice in Star World.. Kengkadang terpikir gak.. apa la ako ni tak blajar rajin skit.. dah boley bw stethoscope tu merata..aihhh~~~ok ok..dah takdirkan..so no sad sad.. Accept your destiny!! hehe

One of the segments in this week's episode introduced me to this word. I thought previously seizures means rampasan.. rupanya rupa nya sawan pn apply juga... It happens due to many factors. One of them is low glucose level.. The scientific term for this is hypoglycemia. The oxidation of glucose will produce energy. This energy is consumed by our body to carry on our daily activities. So when the level of glucose is low, the supply of energy to the brain decline, and followed by the seizure attack...

I’m not sure to say wow to people with hypoglycemia or not... coz... they can eat any amount of chocolate or sweet that they like, and they wont get fat nor overdose... hehehe so they'll usually carry sweet or marshmallow with them just in case they need the instant supply...cam drug pn ada...heheh... susah lak kan.. If the mamak closed during public holiday and no sweet supply then this can actually lead to permanent brain damage...

maka.. Be thankful la kita..!!

mutiara hati : we are not in the position to ask people to do according to what we want (although our intension is good)..that's their right to decide... but we are the result of our action.. jeng jeng...

Courtesy

2010-04-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

Smeemangnya i'm not qualified to talk about this.. but who cares.. these are pieces of my mind..

There are degree of differences when we are having conversation with:
1. The elderly
2. The younger generation
3. The higher rank individual in an organization
4. The lower education level individual
5. The local
6. The foreigner

Yet the similarity among all is : being humble and down to earth.. (ahakz..look!! mulut sial bagi nasihat dkt org psal jaga mulut..hahahaha)..

Probably the diverse cultures that shape our way of interacting with others. Language barrier thus made thing worst. For example.. I was on few days of sample collection. In our mission, there were few other researchers that were conducting their study.. There were moments of tensed that float around the room while the interview was conducted.

As an average, all the subjects that we interview were PMR - SPM holders.. Which indicate that their English command are not that well.. Moreover most of them were elderly. Eventually one of the researcher tend to slightly raised her voice on the subject which i felt uncomfortable with.. Their facial expression was slightly annoyed. Cant help.. If u felt that you are being looked down, i'm sure none of us is happy about that.. right?

Bottom line is you can be very loose when u mix around with your friends.. but please be more aware that different approaches needed on different class of people.. Keep your tone down when u are talking or having conversation with your patient, test subjects, cleaners, etc.. just because they are not well off or well educated than you are... still they deserve the same degree of treatment from you..!!

Sleeping Pills and Pain Killers

2010-04-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

Field work field work.. Although not much sample can be collected... and the hot warm air from the sea.. There's plenty of things to learn and lots of story to be heard..

One of them was an incident where the subject stopped drug for nearly one year was arrested by the cop and was sent to more than 20 days of jail. Urine test was conducted on the him after 7 days of his custody by the police, they conducted a urine test on him and he was found positive for morphine.. As far as I'm concern the trace of morphine for heavy user is 2-4 days.. it can be less than that for recreational user. He claimed that he took nothing during his time in jail. He was asked to pay thousands of ringgit for his release. Coming from a poor family, that amount seems to unaffordable.

After did some digging, we found out that he was on medication prescribe by the Doctor on his hand injury. Among the drugs prescribe is sleeping pills since he has insomia (sleeping disorder)..
We personally did urine test to him with the remaining testing kit.. Ouchh. It really shows that he was positive for morphine and benzodiazapine. The double bands formation on the kit shows negative result while single band indicate positive consumption..

I was suspecting that the pain killer contain morphine or its derivatives since morphine has been widely used in the pain killer production. But i couldn't connect the sleeping pill with the benzo's positive result. Until i browse through the internet and found out that the active ingredients of the sleeping pills is benzo.

We advised him to bring along a letter by the doctor indicating that he was under this prescribed medicine and he needs to carry the photocopy of this letter wherever he goes.. This is true for all the controlled drugs user. A letter from the doctor is as important as your identification card since this can be a counter proved is u are arrested.

Bersama-sama..

2010-04-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

wahhh lapar2 camni sempat pula saya berblog.. Am waiting for other friends whose presentation is being screened by our dear Prof.. Part of me is relieved i'm not in the presentation group. Hehehe still have heavy stage fright.. Today and the next 2 month will embark the journey of the students going through the boring practical training life..

ahh remembering myself being one of the sleeping candidates in my training centre.. (oppss cannot be named..).. so eager to learn new things yet so little thing to do and soon the laziness piled up and ended up with drifting around the net and watching movie, dramas. etc... ahaha.. we manage to build such a astrong friendship amng trainee since we spent most of the time together.. Ahhh suddenly miss them.. hehehe ..

actually, choosing the correct palce to held your training is such an important aspect that u need to pay attention to. expecialy to those that yet to conduct any.. Get reviews from seniors or friends.. It's best to do at a very busy place.. places where routine analysis or routine work are performed. Trust me.. u'l learn a lot!!.. If u happen to choose the wrong venue.. u'lll have nothing to write in your report... Major reason i'm doing master is because i like the topic that was given to me during my training.. hehehe it's not totally plagiarism in topic.. but roughly related to what i've learn previously.. heheh..

Ako Mahu

2010-04-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

I want to look good..
I wanna be beautiful..
Look attractive..
With good hair style..
I want to put on heels
Carry handbag
Go for facial

But where should i start??
And should i start?
Is it time?
Can i maintain it?

Azam Azam Zam Zam am am m m

2010-04-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

When i grumble too much in my life (i realize that!!!).. and reread back or just refresh what happen.. How ungrateful i was behaving.. But i couldn't help it.. It was so sickeningly sucks!! Euuu.. Nothing seems to please me now.. Except for a bag in Forever 21...!! aha.. I was surveying something for a non-too-girly-girl that one awhile is girly (ahahaha).. then my eye caught a black handbag hanging in between other luxury bags (weh..100 and above is expensive to me!!Dang..hehe).. See.. i forgot that i was angry when i talked about shopping!! (Opppss am i geli myself??!!)..heheh..

Last few non blagging days, i browsed through some of the blogs in my friends' blog list.. Some are so inspiring and informative without sounding so boring or skem-A!! Wow... not all people is blessed with writing talent. Some tried (like me..) n still trying to improve.. Some just wrote flawlessly~~.. Ngehhh not going to mengeluh this time.. I'll try to vary my content next time.. with the hope that all the grumbling dont come in my way!!!!shuhhhhh u go away~~ hehehe till then.. bernafas.. hembus..bernafas...hembus lagik!! ohh...im hungry~

Saya mengantuk

2010-04-10T01:27:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of http://www.florahealth.com

This is a self claimed statement again!!.. I’m always tired n always tak larat n always carried sleepy panda eye all can be linked to the iron deficiency that I carried all this while. I visited the clinic lately asking for ferum tablet (The previous packaged that I had on my second last visit to the blood donation campaign finished..ahhh that was 2 years ago!! Hahahaha baru teringat nak amik yg baru!!!) kahkakhakah.. Instead of dispensing the ferum tablet to me, the nurse in charged gave me multi vitamin, vit c and cod liver oil.. ahhh yes!!!! I save up few ringgit since I was planning to buy some omega 3 tablet for my sinus (morning bersin.. kena hujan bersin.. dari sejuk ke panas bersin..dari panas ke sejuk bersin…bersin ja memanjang….)..aiseh…
Other non related claimed is mamak’s stall the tarik contains quite high caffeine!! (ni pn separa fitnah gak.. since I have no scientifically proven data..) ..i always opted for the tarik instead of Nescafe kononnya don’t want to be dependent on the caffeine intake.. Using myself as the subject, I drank 1 cup kayu’s the tarik kurang manis and I still managed to stay awake till now!! Hello.. I slept at 2.30 yesterday and was fully awake at 7 am…to others this amount hours of sleep brings nothing to them.. to me.. sikit nih!!!!!!!!!...hehehe the moment I sipped it.. I felt sudden alertness on me..klau iklan Pepsi jadilah bruuuuupppp.. hehehehe.. And im sleepy now and couldn’t function any better now.. but still couldn’t drive myself to sleep… wehhh..ako nak tidooooo..

Suda Hampir Lemas

2010-04-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Kembali suda dari membusykan diri beberapa hari nih..hehehe.. Hello bloggers!!! Greetings tak menyempat-nyempat…

Pada ketika dan saat ini, kt bwh rumah ako ada perjumpaan besar-besaran yang ako suspect org umno or org pekida.. wahh.. the numbers that present is really shocking.. hehehe..heard them sang bday song. So I assume one of their head is celebrating his bday.. Ishhh scary la plak…

Nothing to blog in particular today.. hmmm wat else eh.. yeahh.. my training in d pool and land.. Alahh.. manusia kan..its impossible to be able to juggle2 things together.. Not only two.. Added on top are my project / experiment. .. Susah nya nak jadi manusia capable nih… And the increasing commitments exerted from the related activities started to suffocate me.. let 1 go.. belambak mari lak.. Aishhhhh… Bila la nak kutip hutang g tgk How to train your dragon nih..~~~ adehhhh weekend ada lagi…

Ako kurang OK

2010-04-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

"Marina OK?"heheh this was one of the most frequent question thrown to me since this morning.. I still couldnt figure out why.. I wake up early today.. doing my daily routine before start off to work.. the only irregular thing i did was filling up petrol before i was here.. accidently and a bit of purposely smell some while filling the tanks..heheh skit saja ok.. tak banyak la.. sendat hidung ako.. then i came with this fluctuating mood.. There's this sudden anger and grudge accumulate in me the moment i enter the lab.. damn.. The mood scale turn to negative.. (not again!!!..i just finished my pms ok!!).. this time is bad.. i think nearly effecting everyone.. i looked tired n serious.. my serious face.. !!! (looks like i can punch just anyone to bleed anytime!!oohh damnn..).. most probably because i escape the Saturday training then all the stress and tense are waiting to be released.. takkan training train and polishing up the beast in me? U got to be kidding.. classifying myself as semi-beast today.. After i had 2 packs of Nasi Lemak.. (haaa segala organ dalamanku..please terima penebat baru yang akan mengkusyenkan hgpa suma...heheh).. i felt better.. not any better..just better...yosshhh i'm terrified of myself.. gila punya pompuan.. i couldnt just walk away.. plenty more things to do.. meditation and isolation!!! haaaaa this is the best way!!! ommmm.. tp ako nak p besembang n begosip... alaaa...~~~lantak la..

be human back..!! bertukar!!!! hehehe